Why am I to blame?

Question

My father moved away, and only visited so often, my mother blamed me for everything gone wrong, watched me get beaten by my brother and friends, and also hit me herself, was left stranded in foreign areas in the states for my fathers job was more important, was never listened to, or payed attention to, for when having my feeling pulled out after years of being ignored, they said nothing and left to talk to others and exagerate the story to make it sound worse, then have numerous ppl come to me telling me to give my mother a brake for she would only tell them about me and what i do and how i react but never told her actions and why they were started. I am now an embarressment, problem, and burden on my family, and not wanted in my home. Bringing drugs and alcohol into my life has only caused more problems into my life, for im looked apon as a failure and a nobody. I wish that some day soon ill die and leave this world to prove to my father how much time he lost of my childhood, how he never took the chances to come see us, and prove to my mother that all i could bring to her is confustion in why her daughter came to be the way i did, and show her that because of her mistakes that i pushed and told to her face she never resolved and only continued to get worse. There is nothing in my life that could mess up my moms life, but every word, and action done she does in mine, takes effect on who i am to be come.

Congratulations mom and dad, u have created nothing but a dying person, that has already slipped from ur fingers, and to late to save.

Answer 1

I think you should really go see someone to talk your problems through!

All the best

Answer 2

Why throw away your life just to teach your parents a lesson. If you die they will only feel sorry for themselves and twist it to tell everyone they were right about you. If you want to get revenge, the best way is to get the help you need, stand up for your rights, get a good education and have a happy successfull life. You can do it if you want to. I hope you break the generational cycle of violence and abuse. When I was a teenager, I knew a girl who attempted suicide, her father said 'How could you do this to me?' and her mother said 'What will the neighbours think?' You can't win with parents like that, every child deserves better. I don't know how old you are but if you are still subject to violence you should move out or talk to children's services, depending on your age. Don't let them drag you down, take your life in your own hands and get the life you want and deserve. Good luck.

Answer 3

It's never too late. You owe parents nothing, they brought you into the world when you didn't give them permission. and for that, they owe us. You don't need those sort of parents in your life so leave them be and ignore them. get on with your life, come off drugs and be something. Once you've cut 'the apron strings' and be determined to not let them/your upbringing eat you away, you'll have a vastly different life and a better one. You don't have to like parents/family, it doesn't always follow that we do. Stop feeling guilty, sad, wishing things would have been different. The clock won't go back. Just think forward and start afresh from today, without them or anyone else who doesn't value you as they should. You are as entitled to breathe the air on earth and to be here as equally as any other person. Love yourself and sod 'em

Answer 4

You know what... there's only one solution left...turn to God and go to church....


I heard a similar story like urs but with a lil' twist.. there was this child who was born out of wedlock...(at least in those days, child born out of wedlock is a sheer embarassment)...went to church one day and ppl there seemed to ignore him because everybody knew about his background until this pastor came over and asked him..."Where are your parents?" The boy was so embarass to answer that himself...and decided to keep mum instead. The pastor quickly suggested; "I know you are a child of God!" and that boy later became the President of the US ( can't remember what's his name..though :P)

If the mere mention of the church sounds phony to you..go to the one that doesn't. You might not believe this... but if your parents didn't want you..God does.in fact given your circumstances, you have no other way round... it's not the circumstances that happen to you, but what can you do despite of the circumstances, it might sounds easier said than done... but nothing is ever too late to save yourself from it... and of course if u r damn serious to turn things around. Believe me you must be feeling sick and tired of such life...I feel tat from time to time, but unless you feel OK about it and ignore it the problem would only get bigger

why not take a chance when you still could and remedy your past... go to a church now..and talk to a counselor, pastor..anyone...

Anyway, I found this particular excerpt from the book; Power of the Plus Factor by Norman Vincent Peale, if u r interested, read on:
1) Stop whatever you are ding ( drugs& alcohol)
2) Seek guidance from competent counselor/church worker/pastor/counselor
3) Ask for and receive divine forgiveness..(it's ur own guilt that's condeming urself)
4) Forgive urself
5) Build ur life all over agin on a moral basis harmonious with ur deepest convictions.

You'll be a better person... I promise.

Good luck.adios

Answer 5

I'm sorry this is SO long I couldn't be bothered to read it all - BUT some mothers can never take the blame themselves so always take it out on the most vulnerable in this case YOU. Please don't feel so low it's happened in a lot of families you are not the only one. Just wait until the time you can leave home and go your own way.

Answer 6

Hi Pal. first of all. if your mum and dad realy loved each other. i'm sure that their is nothing a son or daughter could do to seperate them. so dont blame yourself for that. and i think your mother is wrong for allowing you to be beatern for a wrong that you are not the cause of. you do not go into detail as to why the spilt between your mum and dad happen. regardles if they blame you ar not. my advise to you fella. sorry i dont now your age. it's the why i speak to all men. either that or geeza. i'm from london. is to take time away from your family. and get yourself together. and talk to peole. friends or relatives that you can trust. coucillors or just paid to do a job. they dont realy now anything. i done something very wrong once. but unlike you. i was to blame. and i have to go and see an offender manager. a they are useless. just like social worker. talk to some one that in your heart you can trust. take care.

Answer 7

Well that's a cry for help if ever i heard one.. It is very clear that you are hurting & all you want is to be loved.. Go to rehab.. get your self sorted & come back larger than life & show them what they are missing...

there's no point in trying to tell them..it's clear they are not listening.. the only way to teach them is to show them.. |Sort yourself out & get back on track.. Talk to people who can really help you & then return home with the biggest smile on your face & say "Look what I did.." Watch the movie "Antoine" It's an inspiration & is based on a true story...

From the bottom there is only one way.....................UP..

Answer 8

You are not to blame, and in your heart you know that.

Do not throw yourself away to spite your family. They are not worth it. Absolutely do get yourself some counseling. There are many ways to go about it, from drop in centers, to school counselors, to a minister, a battered women's shelter, etc. Be honest with your counselor, and with yourself.

You can heal, you can go on, but it will take work on your part. Don't allow your mother to zap your energy and drive to be a good person. Don't let her negativity dictate your heart and your mind.

Good luck. It will be tough and you need someone who can help you directly and is in your corner.

Answer 9

Hi Ellen, I just went into your membership details and read all the questions you have asked and my heart goes out to you. I alway tell my step teenagers that your teenage years are the best years of your life but they are also the most difficult. Please take the time to read all the answers (the serous ones that is) you have been given and remember your life is not over, it is just beginning and you are responsible of how it turns out. Start your new life today.

Answer 10

personally i think you need to break any ties with your parents. It sounds hard but i think it must be done. You need to make something of yourself and your life and need to prove to your parents that you didn't need them anyway and regardless of what they've done, they HAVEN'T messed up your life. Be strong and walk away. You may find that they in fact come crawling back to you when they see they need you and you can turn around and say, look what ive done for myself, its my life, i control it, not you.
Good luck and stay strong. Everyone lives for a reason and its time you found your reason.

Answer 11

It's NEVER too late to be saved. You have been the victim of abuse and you need Professional help Ellen and the A+E dept at the hospital can provide it.
Now turn off your computer and GO to A+E.