Having been with a partner for nearly 4 years I decided to give her a very special birthday. So I bought her a car and also an engagement ring worth nearly £2000. She had the birthday of her life like you would expect. Then just under 6 months later things fell apart and we split up. Would you expect to get the gifts and the ring back? Bearing in mind total cost is over £8000. Gifts yes but long term and not something you give to someone just to be dumped afterwards. What do you think? No offers of returning anything and I want no contact so looks like I'm £8000 down. Lesson learnt. Was she out of order or is it my own silly fault?
2007-01-30 21:22:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No she wasn't out of order she didn't ASK you for them you gave them freely. She had no idea I suspect that things would disintergrate 6 mths later either!! No you should just leave them with her...after all think about it...every time she gets in the car you are going to pop into her head....every time she wears that ring...you are there too!!! You are doing a remote stalking without realising it! LOL punishment enough huh?? Let it go hon'.....would you want all the dinners or gifts back you have given to mates/girlfriends/family that you have fallen out with??? You are hurting but let it go.....move on.....and don't take it out on the next women in your life...it wasn't their fault either!!!!!
2007-01-30 21:28:57 · answer #1 · answered by Confuzzled 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry it's your own fault. Even the diamond she can say was a birthday present. Next time if you give a girl a diamond make sure it's not a specail occasion. This way it's held as a ring with ties. Marriage ties. If the engagement falls apart the ring rightfully should come back to you. Not given on any special day. Don't buy anybody a car unless your married. This way even if you split then at least you get half the proceeds from the car.
2007-01-30 21:40:58 · answer #2 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only give things you can afford (with your heart AND your wallet) ---you said it, they were gifts, not something that had strings attached. You did the right thing, you made the right decision at the time. It was up to her at the time to tell you that her feelings for you were not as deep and that she could not accept such gifts from you in good conscience. Don't let this LOSER taint your outlook on life...you gave from your heart, and she should have declined. Unfortunately, this is not one of the 'life lessons' some parents teach their children. She sounds grabby and a person that walks all over people just to get what she wants. You are better off without her...and when you start to date again, ask the girl early on how she feels about getting/receiving expensive gifts from people she is not in love with.....listen to the answers very carefully and decide then if you want to continue with this type of person. I'm so sorry, I've had to learn a few lessons the hard way myself and it is painful and shameful.
2007-01-30 21:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by XOXOXOXO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you were stupid as you were together for 4 years and you love/loved her very much. Not sure if she knew if she was going to dump you but she should give you half of the money back as its not fair on you and things like that. Well i did by my ex a car which was nearly 7 years ago and just let him take so that i did not have to have contact with him but then found out that he also toke a loan out in both our names so i just toke the half and paid it off, it was best that way so that i would have not contact or be put across as the bad one. Its so hard but you gotta do whats best for you at this time.
Good luck but try and talk to her about how you feel.
2007-01-30 21:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask for the things back or go to a solicitor. I would NOT let her have such expensive things. The ring was given as a promise to marry. She has broken it off so she should return it. The car was given as a gift because of an impending wedding...get that back too. she is a money grabber. No decent girl would hang on to these things if she didnt want to marry the guy. Sorry I dot't agree with the others on here. Fight for it man!!!!
2007-01-30 21:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u give something out to someone , it must be u truely wish that person to have it n not thinking of getting anything back in return !!!!!!!!
so its just your own silly fault of loving the wrong gal !
If u were to chase it back n tell ure future gf abt it , she will give u this face : o.O .
Gals like generous guys so dont let ure name be mr stingy just because of ure silly ex !
so i guess u just have to try forgeting abt it , treat it as paying for a lesson , n the next time before u give such expensive gifts , make sure the gal ure in luv with really luv u as much as well .
2007-01-30 21:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by Cassie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
geez babes - things happen!!! Im sure she didnt plan on the relationship going down the tube! Its like anything else in life you have no guarantees! What you did was a gorgeous gesture and she was a very lucky lady - however they were gifts so with the exception of the engagement ring which I think she should return to you - I dont think shes obliged to give anything else back!
xx
2007-01-30 21:46:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gift is just that - a gift,
it is not not an investment or a loan!
Birthdays and Christmas gifts are solely for that person.
If you bought a house during a marriage , it would be an asset of the marriage - the joint home for you both etc.,
That's not just my view it's the law of the land. I've been there.
Sorry but you have to put it down to experience.
2007-01-30 21:42:20 · answer #8 · answered by john ray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your experience. Breakups are difficult without all the added stress.
The car was a gift, so it might be an idea to put it down to a bad experience as you have no claim to it.
Good Luck with the future.
2007-01-30 21:33:52 · answer #9 · answered by nora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not be able to get any of the things back and how can you think like that anyway. At the time you must have really loved her so unless she did something really bad you should just let her keep them. What more can you do rob her? Wait thats not a bad idea. £8,000 woah thats a lot of money.
2007-01-30 21:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by Dreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋