We have been married for 12 years and have two kids. I am afraid that if I leave, the kids will get affected by her excessive perfectionism and behavior. I tried many times to convience her to go to a doctor but she always says that i'm the problem and that she is not into taking meds. Please advise. Thanks
2007-01-30 20:56:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
a.k.a. OCPD
2007-01-30 21:00:49 · update #1
You did not mention that you LOVE her.
You sound like you are justifying and looking for something.(moral highroad?)
When you cannot even pretend to at least show any qualities of wife, in your one sided attack, says of your character. I imagine if you stated a few of your wife's opinion of situation, (not to say u r wrong. But you defiantly told only your side. Your wife side should be presented so at least she can defend herself.
This is small scale neocon tactics. Attack. Allow no dissenting, debate, or truth, facts, etc. Neocons have habit of attacking character assignation, as they know they are sorely missing facts.
People with facts never need to resort to name calling. Facts are Facts...Mary
2007-01-30 21:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by mary57whalen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her know in no uncertain terms that if she wants this marriage to work, she nees to sek professional help of some kind, ASAP.
Otherwise, if you do leave, you could always make sure the kids get counselling to untie any knots her OCD may cause in the future within them, or perhaps you can sue for joint or full custody.
I think there is a book out there called "The Boy who Couldn't Stop Washing his Hands" or something like that that I've heard good things about that maybe she would read if it was lying around.
2007-01-30 21:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JSimple, open the door and leave. Leave behind your whole life??? Your two fabulous kids and loyal partner of 12 years??? 12 years is a long time you know. 2 beautifull children as well, to finish their childhood in a broken family??? What about in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse??? Did you not use those words. Have a bit of backbone man. Reclaim your life. Pick her up. Put her in the car. Take her to the Doctor/Hospital and get her properly diagnosed and put on medication. The security and sanity of you and your precious family is at risk. Do whatever it takes, but get her well again, you owe it to her!!!!
PEACE & LOVE & ALL THAT
2007-01-30 21:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by Minx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Initially when I saw your question I was thinking that you were not a nice person to leave her, after 12 years, because she is ill. But I think you are right. It is so unfair for one spouse to refuse to correct a problem when it is affecting the other one. I think she is selfish, but try to convince her one last time that it is bothering you and you are thinking of leaving.
It is a totally different thing if she cannot be cured, but if she can and refuses help, then it is another matter.
2007-01-30 21:07:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about how DIVORCE would affect your kids?? Really, you need to be more open with your wife, and let her know what you are thinking.
2007-01-30 23:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by citrus punch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or maybe the kids would be affected by their FATHER RUNNING OUT ON THEM.
2007-01-30 21:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by almighty_malachi 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes you just got to walk.
May want to try seperate living so she knows you mean it.
Otherwise she may drive you nuts.
2007-01-30 21:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by Carl P 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋