What do I have to live for?

Question

My parents have never had me as any priority, my father believed put his work & life before us in belief that we'd always be there, my mom began verbally abusing us, and then physically abused me. I have never been good enough, never been accepted, get depressed & hate myself more when looking in a mirror, I skipped school for I wanted nothing with it, & couldnt deal with it for I felt more depressed, I smoked weed to deal with my problems, I was an embarressment to my mom for seeing a councellor, then nagged at for stopping to see them. I was blamed for being the person I had become cause my mom had to seek a councellor & join parent groups 4 she didn't no how to deal with me. I've never been believed in when trying 2 explain how i was left alone, ignored, & punished wrongfully, etc, being a problem for never associating with family, & never being trusted. I now use drugs & alcohol to escape & hope, & wish to do so much that I od to die escape this terrible world, I dont belong in

Answer 1

If it was me I'd move away from my folks/family and start again in another town/city.

I did many years ago and love it! I now have a fantastic relationship with my folks and now worship the ground they walk on.

I hope things work out - just don't give up pls

Good luck

Answer 2

You have everything to live for.... think of it this way, everything wonderful that you've never had, all the good that you have never had the chance to experience yet, are still yours. If you want them to be. I realize that you have been living a horrible life so far, I know how hard that is, believe me, I thought I was reading my history when I read this question you wrote. Now I will tell you that you have 2 choices, you can either continue on feeling sorry for yourself hoping that everyone else will too, or you can stop letting all the bad that has happened to you destroy your life, and start fighting back. What I mean is that you still and always will have the choice of how you want to react to what happens to you. You CAN take each bad thing that happens to you and start using it as a learning opportunity, instead of another excuse to become a loser. That will guarantee that you will be a better person each time you get through the most difficult times you will go through. You probably wonder how the heck do you do that, right? Well, I suggest you at least get some kind of counseling or guidance. Even if it means calling a hotline. That way they can help guide you to understanding of whats going on with you, or direct you to the help that you will need. And one more thing, do not ever be afraid to get help - I don't care what your lame parent says about it. Remember, if they get down on you because you are getting help - ONLY they look bad - NOT YOU. Don't believe the crap. And never give up. You will have bad days, and soon, you'll begin having good days. One day, you will have mostly wonderful days, but it takes a lot of work, determination, willpower, and guts. Nothing worth having is easy to come by - believe me it will be worth it.... Good luck and I will PRAY for you.....

Answer 3

You really need some help to deal with all this.
But you are not alone, and there is help and a good life out there. No matter what it may look like to you right now.
It is too much to deal with alone. I suggest you link up with a drug and alcohol rehab.unit through a community service in your area.
You admit you have big problems and that is the first step .You also can see your life is not going well ,believe me that is a step to recovery.Denial is an addicts worst enemy.
The choice is up to you . But only you can make it.
You can do a detox and then a rehab program.. Or you can do the A.A./N/A.way.
All have success and failure.
It is how much you want to get better that will make the difference.It is not an easy road.
As soon as you can, make that call for an appointment .
You can talk with someone about what is available in your area, and what will suit you.
It is not just the drugs and alcohol you have to deal with. You have to work carefully with a counselor, to find out what you can do to deal with your problems instead of fuzzing them out.
No one chooses to become an addict or alcoholic. The reality is the problem will never go away until you find out why.
I really wish you all the best and hope you can learn to see the sun and smile again real soon.

Answer 4

Hold on. . .I mean hold on to the fact that you are you. . not merely the product of your fathers indifference and your mother's ineptitude.

I don't know you but I know already there are good things about you. . .you express yourself well, you have that ability to look at yourself which is rare in most adults.

You need to start again and build on your strengths.

You know what a shitty life can be like, is like, but you have, as I mentioned earlier, that rare ability to look at it from outside.

Try using that to help others. If you are in a position of helping others who abuse drugs and alcohol you will find the will to stop yourself and the knowledge that you can help people will make you understand your own value as a person.

The other thing to do is to read, I can tell from the way you write you have a good understanding of language so skip the easy stuff and go for something more challenging. . try to start with 'A Mood Apart' by Peter Whyberrow. You can get it from any good library.

He is a leading Psychiatrist in the USA (altho' a Brit) and his writing will help you to understand the nature of depression and associated conditions.

I think that just by understanding, and by realising that there are/were people worse off than you will help you face your own problems.

And remember a lot of people with no real problems at all get into a worse jam than you, so take heart in that, you are a pretty tough cookie to have come so far.

Anyway, best wishes, I really want you to get better.

Answer 5

I have been in your position. I feel you, but comitting suicide is not the answer. I know it doesnt feel like it right now but one day you will understand everything happens for a reason and makes you who you are, a better person than someone who has had an easy life. From everything bad that happens, something good will come of it, Who knows you might even have a better life than someone who has had it easy, because you will truly appreciate your life after you get through this. I'm sure there are people that care about you and it would be selfish to put them through seeing you dead. Be brave and go to your Doctor, there are people who can help you make a new start, dont miss out on life, there are many things you have not experienced and are worth living for, trust me I know.

Toushka

Answer 6

what do you have to live for? The answer is you don't know yet. I know that when you are abused by your parents it is probably one of the worst thing. They bring you in to the world and should be people you can trust which is why when you can't get their approval it is the worst thing in the world. I have often felt like this, my situation was different because I was bullied. But imagine if I had killed myself in year nine. Then I wouldn't be at college and able to realise that not everyone in the world is bad. We don't know what could happen in the future. The best thing is to probably get away from this situation. another thing I have to say is that you should trust in God. Because I realised that you don't have to earn his love becuase your debt has already been paid. I know I'm not on here to convert but I had to say it becuase you sound really down and depressed. You must feel it is your only way out but your life shouldn't have to feel like this. Let God deal with your parents.

Answer 7

I wish I could give you a hug and make you feel better. All hope is not lost dear.

Now in the past you had a choice to react to your situation. You and your parents messed up. So the fault is not entirely theirs. But what do you do now??

I say this because I know if first hand. Jesus loves you just the way you are now. All he wants you to do is, accept your faults and receive His forgiveness. Try it, you have nothing to loose?

About you parents, forgive them and let go. Look forward to life and get on the right track. I don't think you need anyone to tell you the right thing to do. You already know it. So go ahead and do it. See how beautiful life is.

Answer 8

In recent years I've spent some time, through my previous job, working with people that have all sorts of disabilities, mental, physical or both. As a direct consequence they're usually in the poverty trap and generally looked down upon in society. Until then I took the view that only I and my family mattered and if anyone got in the way then they'd better watch out.

To see these people try absolutely everything to come to terms with their personal situations and attempt to learn new skills just to get to the starting line was a really humbling experience.

My suggestion to anyone who thinks that the world is against them or that the world owes them something is to go to one of those charities dedicated to helping the really needy people in our society and spend a day in their company.

Suddenly you'll find that there are a whole host of people worse off than you and more than likley, they'll act as a real inspiration to you to get control of your own life.

Good luck. If you need the names of these charities just let me know.

Answer 9

A lot. I know this will sound cliche but the mere fact that you are on this earth means you have a purpose. You may not know what it is yet but stay on to find out. It's easier said than done but don't let all these negative things bring you down. Look somewhere else where you can find good things. Do something that you truly love and enjoy. Alcohol and drugs will not make your life better, only worse.

Answer 10

You know, if it were me I would want to show my parents that I had risen above the awful childhood that they gave me.
There are lots of people out there who can help you make a new life for yourself.
Start with your GP, explain the mess you're in (you don't have to say why you ended up like this). Ask for referrals to the appropriate centres. Look for assertiveness classes, you need to boost your self esteem.
Take each day as it comes....don't set a date where you want everything to be sorted, it may take longer.
But, at the end of it all, you will be able to look in the mirror and be able to see yourself as a free, independant person, despite what happened in your childhood.

Answer 11

Most people ask this at some point in their life. One way to deal with the issues (which may not be your way) is to focus on what you can do rather than what you do not like, can't do, and for which you have no support.

Stop seeing the controlling factors in your life as something to rebel against just for the sake of it. Your life is more important to you than a statement regarding your protest over who controls your future.

So live, and belong to your own club where everyone in that club is happy.