They use something like the vacuum cleaner, or start a project and then just walk away from it and leave it where they were working on it. In my mother's house we had a rule, and i'm sure it still stands, that if you get something out, bring it from your bedroom or start a project, then when you're finished playing with it, you put it away. I thought i taught this to my son when he was younger, but i guess it either didn't stick or because my husband doesn't do it, then it's not been reinforced enough. Or he just thinks that if my husband doesn't do it, why should he? It makes me a bad guy.
I've tried the "evil box" where i collect their stuff at the end of the day and they have to either pay a very small fee to get it back, or negotiate a chore. But then i'm still the one picking it up. Tried leaving it and trying (hard) not to let it get to me, but i just can't stand clutter and having to live with it all the time, stresses me out. Any suggestions would be great. Thanx
2007-01-30 20:10:17 · 7 answers · asked by jama_bc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can tell you from experience that the male gender is very forgetful and they cannot multi-task at all!! I have 3 of them in my house. It's a struggle to really get them to do anything. I have noticed through trying different approaches, a soft touch works wonders. What I have done is ask nicely....for example, my son leaves his backpack in the middle of the floor. I ask him," son, please put your backpack where it belongs..." I do not "really" ask him, I am telling him, but nicely. If he says in a minute mom, I keep him at his word. One minute! If a minute passes and he has not done what I asked him to do, I tell him again, in a firmer voice to put his backpack where it belongs and this time I make sure it's done. I thank him afterwards. As for my husband.... I will ask him to pick up his socks. I try to word it in a light, positive way...for example... "Husband, would you please put your socks in the laundry hamper...?" He replies, "just one second".... I wait about 15 min and ask again in the same tone.... and he gets up and puts them in the hamper and I thank him. When I say thank you I always say something like, "thanks for doing that! That helps me alot!" I try to keep it positive! men do not like to be nagged and do not like to be yelled at or told what to do. Wording is important. Instead of asking "can you put your socks away" use the word "would"..... For some reason men think when you ask them "can you..." you are somehow implying if they know how to do what you are asking...whereas if you ask "would you...." you are direct in your question.
The key here is to stay positive and the BIG THANK YOU when they have done what you asked of them!!!! Good luck!
2007-01-31 00:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by blueyonder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same problem here.
I give them XX number of hours (or days) to pick up what is left lying around and then it either goes in the trash or I hide it and if they want it they have to pay a fine to get it back. Of course, that won't work too well for the vacuum cleaner, so just be sure it is someplace they HAVE to move it - like right behind their chair at the kitchen table. Things left on the table get put in their chairs, etc.
Yes, it is a lot of extra work for you to start out, but it will be worth it in the long run. I do not nag, there is one warning with a deadline to get their stuff picked up - no extensions, no excuses.
Just can't seem to figure out why nobody can put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, though......it really isn't rocket science and I have done 2 "how to's" to show how easy it is. I just take care of that, but I do resent the laziness on their part.
2007-01-31 08:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to the vacuum cleaner I would just be glad that they used it. Try reminding them before they start the vacuum to be sure and put it up afterward. There are times when projects get left out. Things can't always be perfect. I usually will let it slide for a little while. Maybe a day or 3 then I tell them to put it up. If it doesn't get done I say for them to put it where they want it or I will put it where I want it, which could be the trash. Don't ask them, tell them. When it comes to clothes left in the floor , leave them. If they run out of clean clothes too bad. I recently had a stepdaughter living with me that left wet towels on the floor in her room after she washed her hair. It stopped but I was to the point that I was going to tell her that everytime I had to go in her room to get a towel/towels I would take something out of her room that she would have to come to me for.
2007-01-31 08:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to change them....I have a 16 year old daughter and I have been trying to get her to pick up after herself....I was the same way when I was her age, but after I grew up, that changed.....As for hubby, well, I would have to suggest a movie,,, it might give you some ideas...It is an older movie....and when I say old, I mean from the 1950's...It is called Pillow Talk...Ask your mom or grandma about it...I think it has Doris Day in it...Doris Day's charactor had just about the same problem..and her mom gave her a book..how to train your dog...she told her daughter, inplace of the word dog, put in husband....LOLOL This might help and give you a few laughs in the proccess!
2007-01-31 06:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its time for a family meeting youre need to say what they need to do also the father as while i live in a up stair aptment and when i get up i throw it out the glass door into the parklot so when i get up they ran into the living room before i get up and i have two boys 10 and 13
2007-01-31 10:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to admit it, but my husband is the tidiest person in our house and I'm the messiest! But, we manage to keep everything in it's place. I try to get my kids to put everything back before they go to bed. My favorite thing is to mimic the lady from the comedy show on TV and tell my kids "I own it." if I find something of theirs left out.
2007-01-31 08:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by Angela B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers you so much why don't you do it yourself? I think you have control issues. You want to control everything they do. Why does anything have to be picked up right away? Sound like you have an evil voice-box , that nags them.
“Edited" Don't give me a thumbs down, ***** .You where asking my opinion can’t fault me for that.
2007-01-31 05:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by daboss 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋