im a catholic but i havent been to church for ages?

Question

i recently lost my mum and brother,and we always used to go to church i havent been going so much since they died.the cannon of my church is a really lovely man and friend,ive explained to him i feel guilty about not going but i know ill break down in the church as this is where i had there service as well he told me when the time is right i will know but its been 3 months now and every sunday morning i feel so bad with myself for not going

Answer 1

If you are beginning to feel bad about not going, perhaps this is a sign you are nearly ready to begin attending mass again...

If you are worried about breaking down in the middle of mass, hang out in the the church's vestibule. That way, you're there and, should you start breaking down, you can make a quick and inconspicuous exit.

You could attend an early or late mass; masses that are at times not conducive to filling the pews.

You could also attend mass at a different parish, temporarilly that is before returning to your old parish.

Until you are ready to try any of these suggestions, perhaps you could tune to weekly mass, assuming you have EWTN.

Answer 2

if this helps any the its actually impossible to 'go to church' the word actually means an assembly of believers. A church is a group of people. Like the word army. its not a place or a building. Also it may be you're feeling guilty because you don't feel you're right with God and going 'to church' is what makes him happy. You should sooner start praying to him, in your own words and the our father etc if you're not sure what to say. a personal relationship is what he wants and a correct position with him through Jesus. Make sure you are sorry for your sins and turn from them (all of them, have a look at the ten commandments & those jesus gave about loving God with all your heart, soul & strength & your neighbour as yourself. these will help) and trust put your trust in him. If your honest in this he'll give you peace regarding everything and in everything(good/bad, easy or tough) and then you'll feel a desire to meet with the church when its time. The church is for the good of the people not vice versa, go when it'll be a benefit to you(which i suggest is probably sooner than you might think) or someone else even. The holy spirit is called the comforter by jesus and thats what he'll do. To summarize talk to the Lord and have things in order there and the rest will work out(church/grief/guilt etc).

Answer 3

Do not feel bad for not going. I'm sure that the cannon and God understand. It takes some people longer than others to go thru the mourning process. What about a bereavement group....most churches offer these. The help and support of others in the same situation might be just what you need right now.
Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 4

It might really be difficult, I can understand. I am sorry how you feel.
I will share something in my life with you. I am a person who was not so much attached to material things, but I was always soo.. attached to my relationships... like after marraige, if my husband even hurts me without his knowledge, I feel so bad and cry so much, i feel my whole life is gone .. I always tell everything to God, not that I go to church and tell.. I tell it just in my heart, and God listens to every cry. God's love is the perfect love. Though I dint realize it whenever I cry, but He lifts the burden when I cry to Him. Pour your heart to Him, ask God all the questions you need an answer.
There are many channels where you get messages about God . See them, read bible, pray earnestly ..do whichever you feel like doing, but connect to God.. You will see that He will guide you in green pasture and restores your soul :)

Answer 5

You need to get a grip and just go, or not ! I know it's difficult when you have a loss such as yours, but rather than grieving, it sounds like you are concentrating on how bad you should feel for not going to church. (You can't feel THAT bad, if you keep doing this on a weekly basis.) You are trying to cover your grief with something else...guilt about church....but you need to trust your pastor's advice.

Go or don't, but stop the self flagellation and drama about this. You have many prayers to help you get through this difficult time, but stop beating yourself up about church until you feel it is time to return.

You are in my prayers for your loss.
.

Answer 6

Just get back in the habit of going and if you cant, then read your bible and watch church on tv. It is not as good as a church family but it is a start.

Answer 7

Turn your troubles to God, He is not hurt because you are not ready yet. I cannot go to Mass because I have a disibility and the Priest comes to me and gives me Holy Communion, maybe you could ask your Cannon to do that. I will keep you in my prayers

God Bless You

Answer 8

Follow the word of Jesus precisely and convert to protestantism. By attending servies at a protestant church, you will feel closer to Him and ultimately your mother and brother.

However, you do know that simply going to church does not make you more or less Christian. You can go to the physical building itself everyday if you wanted to, but the essential part of being a Christian is accepting Jesus in your life.

God Bless

Answer 9

Try mini steps first. Pray the rosary a couple of nights. Go to confession, go to adoration, pray in a chapel, and then just try to go. If you have a Catholic friends that you could go with, that would be good.

Answer 10

My free Catholic Resource CD has a number of easy to use resources for persons like yourself, to help you get "back in touch" with your Catholic spirituality, in a few simple steps.

Send me an email with your mailing address and I'll get one out to you right away.