Who am I and what have I become?

Question

My father was never around for my childhood, times spent with him consisted of us being alone for his job was more important, my mother yelling and blaming me for things I hadnt done, abusing me, watching my brother and his friend kick and punch me on the ground and only walking away, saying I dressed like a bum, & when worked at her work thought she would get a raise for them thinking she was poor in the way i was dressed. always being an embarressment to her, and a burden to the family. Being neglected when young for wanting to talk about my problems, then later bugged until i talked only to be ignored & left alone for sharing my feelings. I have always been like a toy in the family that was only played with when wanted, other than that, I was only a shadow, & tooken care of cause they had to, but didnt want to. I am now blamed & am a problem for being depressed & not wanting anything from my family, for they dont understand why I have low self esteem & think & act the way I do

Answer 1

Hi there,

Wow. This a really tough question to answer, and I'm sure this one answer isn't going to be the solution. I would worry about you. What make you happy? School? Work? Friends? Surround yourself with those that you love, and what you love to do. Try seeing a counselor and getting involved with a church to help you deal with some emotions that you might have.Then, maybe in the future you can have enough courage to tell them exactly how you feel, and what they have done to you. If they choose to still blame and criticize you, I would slowly cut of ties. Sometimes loosing somthing (meaning your family) only truly then makes you realize what you once had. But I would def seek greater help with this problem.

Best of Luck
K

Answer 2

You're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you to give yourself the things you feel you didn't get from your family. Lots of people have rocky starts, some much worse than yours. You need to lose the martyr mentality and take charge of yourself and your life. It may take some time, but it will be worth it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and get on with it. Put a picture in your mind of how you want your life to be, then figure out how you're going to get there, and start taking steps towards that goal. Set a timescale for each achievement you plan, but only a loose timetable, so you don't feel like a failure if it doesn't pan out.

This is your life. You don't get another chance at it. What you do with it now is up to YOU. You can find excuses for everything and feel sorry for yourself, but in the end, it's really all down to you. There's plenty of help available for all problems, but it's up to you to get it.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Hi there,

You have certainly caught peoples heart strings here & they don't know you or even see you...

The world i s a good place.. I know your world at the moment isn't good but look at the answers here.. Listen to the words being spoken to you from strangers.. People can be very cruel & it is an awful thing that you have learned this from your family....

Do not allow them to keep you down.. this is the one thing you can control..Be strong show them that even though they have spent & wasted their lives on making yours a living hell that it was all a waste of time..... You are bigger, better & stronger than them.

please when you are feeling low read the answers people have left really read the advise you've been given...

Head up, you are worth ten of them any day...

Good Luck..

Answer 4

It will be hard - but you can recover. Try to find a partner, who will understand your needs - you have to be open and try to talk about everything. It will be much easier with that person on your side to recover. I would advise to move out to different city, where you can start your life. Your family and old home, will not remind you of all the cruelty they've showed to you over the years. New place far away from everyone you knew will really help you.

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear this, my partner was raised by her Grandmother and has a similar story. You are young and have a life to look forward to. When you can, move out and get a place of your own and start living your own life. My partner has washed her hands with her Gran and it is her that is now missing out. She has 3 beautiful grand children who she has never seen. I try not to get involved but respect her wishes. You will meet someone and settle down and have a good life and it will be your parents missing out on something special as my partners Gran is. Good luck with the future, you deserve happiness.

Answer 6

Good question. Much of that is still in your hands. That means it's your responsibility! Yes, it sounds as you've gotten some pretty rotten treatment from people who should've given you better. But you owe it to yourself to live a great life - one that you're proud of.
You've got to treat others well and make good friends. Don't take anybody's crap; but don't give any either. Just stand up for yourself.

Best of luck to you. Don't give up.

Answer 7

Your question is heart breaking.First you should go & see your doctor he will put you in touch with some one who will talk every thing over with you & listen with no judgement.If you want to leave home they will help you.There is no point leaving untill you have some place to stay.I wish you all the best for your future happiness believe me you will get it.Good Luck

Answer 8

I do recommend you getting this book called, "Bad Childhood Good Life". Sorry to hear of your pain, but you as a person can still overcome this, only if you want to.