It it right to date a guy 10 years older than me?

Question

Hi, recently jus break up with my bf less than a week and now with a guy who is 10 years older and i'm going to be 21 this year. I'm confused whether i agreed on to this relationship in an inpulse. This guy is very good to me, financially stable with very good career and education, average looking, drives and hopes to settle down. I find it a bit weird to be with a guy whereby our age gap is quite big. But he said age really doesn't matters cos he loves me. Personally i felt that there is a possiblity that my parents and relatives will object and feel that we won't work out. I'm not sure whether if i'm finding a substitute for myself as i really don't want to hurt anybody becos of me.
I need advice on how should i face it seriously??

Answer 1

I don't think you should worry too much about "age gap", however there is a big "experience gap" here.

He has been through his 20's and is ready to settle down, work on his career and maybe have a family.

You are at a unique time of your life when you can really learn who you are and what you want to do - you may want to travel and see the world - do you want to settle down and have kids yet?.

He says he loves you - but it has only been a few days - this is very quick - so how do you know how he really feels?
Does he have a crush on you, or is it real and lasting?

This could work out fine, but you might want to give it a few weeks and see how it really works out.
What is he really like? What do you want to do with your life? What would it be like to be married to him for jthe next 30, 40, 50 years?

I hope you find out what works for the both of you.

Whatever you do have a great life!

Answer 2

Hi Sweetie,

I know that this is a tough situation. I was there myself once. I got married to a man when I was 16 (who was 8 years older then me), I move from Wa to Ca to be with him and we ended up getting a divorce when I was 19. I ended up meeting a man who is 20!!! years older then me... and we started a relationship almost right away and will be together 4 years this June. Things are going good, with occasionally bumps in the road as every relationship will have. I can say however, that I do wish I spent just a little time in between relationships just to be 'free' and single for a little while. It's nice just to be able to be you for a while and experience diff things without having to worry about someone else. I wouldn't worry about the age diff so much, if you like him, and have things in common and a ground to work on... that's all you need. I would Just spend a little time finding "you" before you find each other. =)

Answer 3

There is a great chance that your reactions and feelings for anyone can be either slightly or greatly biased due to the emotional ups and downs at this point. While you feel like everything is all right with yourself, it is very common to overlook your feelings, because you yourself may be happy or satisfied. Consider taking a step back for a little while. You don't need to blow your future boyfriend off; rather, suggest that you need some time for yourself to think.

A guy ten years older than you may be a little questionable as well. But I trust you have good judgment. Meanwhile, if you fear your relatives will disapprove, now would be a good time to reconsider and organize your thoughts. Try to prioritize that which is more important. It is very easy to be on rebound without knowing. Hope all goes well.

Answer 4

So he is 31 and you are 21, big deal, there is absolutely no problem with that. Actually if you are looking to settle down soon, this is the guy for you. We could be talking a different story if he was 26 and you were 16. Just make sure, he does not take advantage of. Move on with your life as you have found someone you love and who loves you back, there is nothing to wait for coz time does not wait for nobody.

Answer 5

Give yourself a chance to get over the relationship you just came out of. Date and have a little fun first. You are sounding as if you are settling for him just because he is already stable. Ten years is a big gap. You really do not to go into another relationship confused.

Answer 6

At this stage in your life compared to his could be a problem. If you was say 30 and had already been married once and gone through a divorce. He was say 40 and had gone through same then it would not be a problem.

You will just have to play it by ear to start with. If you have like interest for the most part. But not so much like interest to where you are like looking at yourself or brother.

Answer 7

I think that if you asking that many question about this then you are unsure about the whole prospect of a relationship with this man. Give yourself time to step back, relax and think the situation through from breaking up with your last man to pondering a relationship with the older man. I dont think the age gap is the issue here... i think its more about you finding yourself first and going from there. good luck

Answer 8

Oh Boi, if you dun love him then dun force yourself. Older man are generally more mature, understanding and secure. So that could drift us towards them but you have to seriously know if you love him to stay with him or not. I had dated a couple of way much older guys as well.. They are all very nice, secure and mature but there had been moments whereby I couldn't relate to them on certain issues. Hence I stopped dating older men. Sometimes older men prefer gals who are very young as well. If you feel all this could create trouble for your family as well, move away.

Answer 9

I think you should do what makes you happy....if he makes you happy, see where it goes. I will tell you this....I am 32 and would not date anyone 10 years under my age and consider it a serious relationship. The gap between our experience base....and the differences in the cultures that we grew up in...would make it impossible for me to take someone that much younger seriously. What would we talk about?

Answer 10

well yr a grown women now and your family has to realize that. I dated a guy when I was 21 that was 14ys older than me and he was all of that. No problems at all I just didn't want no relationship at the time so we split after 2 yrs. age doesn't matter really as long as he is treating you with respect.