Specifically trying to explain to someone that they are dating what they are getting themselves into.
I've recently met someone new, and I try to get him to realize that I may never be the easiest person to live a life with, but I'm still not sure he grasps what I mean.
I'm overly emotional. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, bipolar, and generalized anxiety disorder. I've been depressed my whole. (that I can recall)
2007-01-30 18:55:30 · 7 answers · asked by joulesofaffection 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
He knows the about me having the illness and many of the struggles. ( I say we are a new relationship, but its been two months-so fairly new). But we are planning a future together, and I'm afraid that he needs a reality check.
Its not that I don't think I'm a good person. Its just I know I'm difficult. I work every day to try to change that, but in the last few years, as much work as I've put into it, the change seems minut.
And also, when I date someone I put that right out there, because I'm not about to play games and waste a man's time if he can't accept me as I am.
2007-01-30 19:03:48 · update #1
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Lots of times I wonder though if it's just the mental illness talking when I think that I'm a difficult person to be in a relationship with.
You should find someone who understands you and accepts you for who you are regardless and even tries to help you with your mental illnesses. Some people just don't get it or grasp the concept of how hard it is to struggle with such things as mental illnesses.
2007-01-30 18:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by INCUBUS 「of」 Arcadia~~♪ 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think it's great that you are self aware enough to know that you can be difficult. I've recently come out of a relationship with a borderline person and from the perspective of a non, yes people with borderline personality can be extremely high maintenance, that's not a bad thing i still loved my partner anyway beyind the illness but it can also be really hard for a non to deal with. i'd like to recommend some stuff that i wish i'd know about at the time to help me to cope better, maybe you can suggest them to your boyfriend. First up he really needs to read Stop Walking on Eggshells - Randi Kreger it will explain so much to him and it will help him to understand some of your behaviours and learn coping strategies to deal with it. There are a number of online forums suggested in there as well which can be really helpful. The book and forums will help him to know that he is not alone in this. I know that you have a hell of a lot of stuff going on as well and i am by no means discounting that i know that it is extremely painful for you, but from personal experience being in a relationship with a mentally ill person can be exhausting for the carer and you already seem to be aware of the effects this can have on others so it is a good thing if you are willing to help him to understand, so that you can mutually support each other. I wish you both all the best and i have to say it's a great sign that you are self aware.
2007-01-31 04:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by colonel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Provide some materials, perhaps a pamphlet or two that can explain the disorders. You can get free lit on line. Then agaqn, he's new and do you really want to tell so much so soon?
I know that you're trying to protect the new person but remember also to protect yourself in the process.
have fun!
2007-01-31 03:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by TygerLily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's part of why I just choose to be single. MOst of the guys I've ever dated have, in one way or another, have said that they like to think of me as not having the problem... (depression, tendencies toward self destruction when angry)... what they never realize is that I am not "apart" from the problem... sometimes, oftnetimes, my mood is affected by my attempts to overcome or just cope... They never could get that. Or maybe I was the one who never could get it.
Anyway, I'm 45 and open to relationship possibilities. But I'm not actively seeking one... I'm actively seeking to overcome my relentless inner battles.
2007-01-31 03:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I date crazy women all the time! I just assume that I attract that type of mate because I myself am a little odd. As my mother was fond of saying: "Water seeks its own level"...lol
2007-01-31 03:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe give him a book about it to read? my guys really responsed to books about anorexia because he never really understood it by my telling him. (it's harder to explain when you're in the middle of something. they need someone on the outside telling them).
2007-01-31 03:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by Carla S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes due to lack of communication and assuming of others and people betraying my trust hurting me and screwing me over and alot of times other people are issue due to that and people need to be honest and truthful
2007-02-04 21:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋