why does she hate me?

Question

why does my mother inlaw hate my guts, when we first got married she tried to tell me how to talk what to wear at first i said ok let her then she did it way too much so i was like changing and doing things more my way slow by slow.. then she would always be in my face commenting on everything. she talks so much i cant get her to shut up, after a year she changed and acted too evil like she would frame me and get me caught red handed when i didnt even do anything it would always look as if im quilty cuz of her fake proofs, shes a professional when it comes to stuff like this,she clearly told me im gona have my son leave u cuz ihate u so shes on her mission but he says i wont leave u just try to get along with her how can i get along with someone whos straight out harassing me and getting lies on me.. back to the question why does she hate me

Answer 1

Your best bet is to be nice to her. When she suggests something, tell her it's a lovely idea...and then just do whatever you were already going to do. Invite her to go places with you, places where you know she would be bored or miserable so that she won't go, but you'll look good for inviting her. Ask her advice on the small things...like what brand of toilet bowl cleaner she prefers, or what kind of moisturizer she uses. Make it seem like you respect and look up to her, without compromising and changing anything about yourself.

Remember, she's used to being the only woman in her son's life. Now she's not the most important woman in his life, and she knows it. She's trying to change you because she has a hard time realizing that she's not making decisions for her son anymore.

I imagine she'll lighten up after you have your first child. Monster-in-laws usually do.

Answer 2

Wow... She kinda does have it in for you alright.. Jesus...

Well first things first...Does she have a daughter??? - I mean if not she got over excited about having one when she thought she wouldn't.. Then you started to say... hang on I don't like that or no not wearing that.. You might have crossed her there.. Mind you having said that she sounds like she may have mental issues too? (dead serious)

Did you marry her only or eldest son?? - The first born is always pride & Joy (actually so is the youngest) If you did then I'm sorry but you'll probably never measure up to her standards.. In which case I'd be very careful.....

Now with regard to the threats she's making.. I'm sure you'll get loads of advise from everyone but I personally would play & beat her @ her own game..... i would walk up to her & confront her in front of everybody.. be very emotional & on the verge of nervous breakdown and shout why do you hate me?? What have i dine etc etc then go into all the effort you have gone to, to try & make her happy.. even start crying ask her what does she want from you?? Get your husband to really feel for you... When you've done that & walked out an emotional wreck come back & when she's on her own & thinking she's cracked you whisper in her ear... Did you like that??? Sit back & enjoy the look of shock, anger & disgust in her face...

I know it's pretty evil but sometimes you gotta show people that you can stand on your own feet & that you will not lie down just because they want you to.. You can do this many times until she learns that you are not going anywhere...

Have fun, Good luck.....

Answer 3

The reason why your Mother-in-law hates you as you say, might be because someone, or something you might have mentioned, got to her the wrong way and that is the reason as to, the way she is acting towards you. If possible try to have a talk with her, and assure her that you do not have anything against her, and that you respect her, as the Mother of her son, and that if she has anything against you to tell you what it is you are doing wrong.If this does not work, have a long talk with your Husband and tell him that you tried your best, getting along with his Mother but, she is treating you the same so, it is up to him to try and settle this war she has created, if she wants to see him happy, and to enjoy peace between you and her. i hope that this nightmare will end for peace and tranquility between the family.

Answer 4

Get mad and make a stand. She's bullying you and you're playing the victim. Go on the offensive instead of being defensive. Lay down boundaries - tell her she's not welcome in your home any longer, unless your husband is there. When she comes to visit, leave the room she's in and find something else to do until she's gone. Tell everyone you're no longer prepared to put up with her underhanded dealings. Be civil but extremely clear. If you're at social events together, say hello, then walk away and don't engage her. Let it be known you will not sit with her at dinners etc.
Talk to your husband again - tell him you're no longer willing to bend over backwards for her, explain that you should be his priority now, he married you.
Don't get into a slanging match, don't get personal, just be assertive and definite about what you expect both from him and her. Tell him what she told you about making it her mission to split you up. Tell him calmly and seriously, and don't get emotional. Ask him to talk to her.
Confront her if you like, tell her you find her behaviour childish, spiteful and bullying, and that if she chooses to apologise, you will accept her back in your life, but if not, she should not expect any invitations from you to anything you're planning, including family occasions.
Good luck!

Answer 5

She no longer has her little boy and you turned him into a man. She may feel threatened by your love for each other and thinks that there is none for her.
You may see her as evil but perhaps shs is scared and weak. Try to get more things that the 3 of you can do such as a nice lunch, home dinner party or find things that will interest her that the 2 of you can do. Get to know her and lether see the real you; maybe you can be at least civil.
Ask your husband to step in and set her straight. He is her son and that is who she will listen to...he needs to act on your part, not hers in telling you to get aloing with her when she is making no efforts.
If she does not let up in her behavior, tell her that she is no longer welcome in your home. OR as long as she is in your home, tell her that she is a guest and you will tell HER what behavior is appropiate in your home. Set her in her place.

Answer 6

In her eyes you have taken all the attention away from her and she feels she has lost her son to you. Why not make an effort and take her out for lunch and shopping and show her that she hasnt lost her son but gained a daughter. Be noce she feels abandoned by the son she brought into this world and neurtured.

Answer 7

You married her son. This is a big sin. No one is good enough for her boy Remember this, she would hate who ever he married it is not you personally. Keep your distance. Stop trying to show her you are a good person and like you. You can not change her way of thinking. You need to focus on your marriage and not your mother in law. You have control of you. Do not give your control over to her. Who is she to tell you how to dress and talk. Your husband picked you to spend the rest of his life with. Stand tall, be happy with your husband. The best way to get back at her is to have a solid relationship with her son. How often do you need to be around her. Start to distance yourself. be nice to her but don't react when she starts. When my mother in law starts her crap and I have to be around her I hang with my father in law and ignore her. But I do not make it a point to show her I am ignoring her. She then starts in with my husband after a few times he has no interest in her crap so we see her less and less. FYI I win without bashing her. My husband tells her he is busy and can't stop by. I am free of all blame. P. S. Your husband needs to handle her a little better.

Answer 8

Wow, its tough when your loved ones mother hates you hey? My MIL wasn't too keen on me either, but, we lived far enough away that it didn't affect us. Your husband might have to say something to his mother or choose....simple as that. I have a cousin who just went thru this with her new husband. They have a 1 yr old son together and now the MIL won the fight. They are divorcing and now she is very happy. I hope this doesn't happen to you though. Talk to your husband about his mothers insecurities....cuz thats what it is. I think that is just terrible for a MIL to act that way. My MIL died 2 years ago now, but, she wasn't that bad. She sounds like she is very jealous that you are the number one woman in her sons life now. But, he's going to have to do something, not you. Have a talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel and what you expect him to do. If he doesn't, your marriage will be doomed to fail. God bless you!

Answer 9

Some mil's are like that, no one is good enough for their son and nothing is going to change their minds. I suggest for the sake of your marriage that you put as much physical distance as possible between her and you two. If this is not an option you'll have to put your foot down,don't fight her but don't allow her to come between you and your husband. You have a tough road to travel but don't allow her the satisfaction of winning.

Answer 10

If your husband knows that his mother can be a twisted, sharp tongud jealous old moo, then you're safe. If not, I suggest you get a secret camera and record the witch so you have proof.

Don't waste your time trying to be nice - this woman will never like you, never! My mother was the same to all my brothers' wives. She was a wicked tongued jealous woman. I still loved her though..... just didn't like her.