good with the bad.I'm very respectful,don't sleep around,don't do drugs,I don't drink,I would give the shirt off my back if I could help someone.But something horrible happened the past few months that I didn't feel I deserved.My ex now who I was with for almost 2 years, we took it slow & fell in love, good family, but had depressive problems that he wanted to & would commit suicide b/c he got a onenight stand pregnant bf we met.Of course I helped him come to terms with it,only for him to leave me to be with the mom. I was shocked.They r not together anymore.But he became so cold and hurtful,I got so fed up with everything I yelled at him to the high heavens,I even felt guilty for that. After, everything came rushing back to me, his constant suicide threats,I feel he messed with my head.For once,I really thought God gave me something good in my life&it turned out horrible.To top itoff,I found out when I was ill in hospital Ihad 2surgeries. Its been 6 months and all I do is cry.
2007-01-30 17:40:55 · 15 answers · asked by maria s 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My Dearest Maria,
I read your question and it touched my heart! I want to first remind you that when God brought you into this world it was not to be trampled on.. although he knows we live in a life where people trample..
God also knows your heart and your kind intentions and your trust in others.. And when you hurt he hurts.. remember God is our parent.. and parents hurt when their children hurt.
But he also made you strong and even though life sucks sometimes.. it is those rough times that mold us and prepare us to be strong people. He made a wonderful person when he made you.. and someone took advantage of you and hurt you and possibly played with your mind. But remember to forgive.. once you forgive this man and move on... you will recover faster than you thought you could. You will feel better and God will also reveal why the relationship did not work out.. He has something better for you. He will give you someone who can love you like you love them.
This person may suffer from depression and unstableness. And you may think you can handle it.. but why would you want to go through life with any extra drama.. Remember God can see much further into the future than you can.. Just trust his decision for you.. better a hurt now with no marriage or children then the alternative..
Pray for peace in your life and healing of your heart.. and clarity of you mind.. I will pray for you tonight as well.
God Bless... and look foward to the next stage of your life.
2007-01-30 18:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Esther J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord, these must be having the toughest time in your life.
I really wish i could advise you better, but i can't say I've been through what you have.
Here's a thought that may (or may not) console you. I hope it helps.
Firstly, what we do in life often has no bearing in what happens to us. God gives us choices, and let's us make the decisions. Apparently, it's called free will.
What we do affects the life we live, and sometimes we make a few wrong turns, or God throws a spanner in the works, because he has a plan for us, and does things for good reasons.
I'm sorry to hear that so much has happened between you and your boyfriend, but i think if you were to just be there for him, and do your part as a friend, he should be more than grateful. Just don't grind yourself over it, because you sound like a bright person, with an even brighter future, and you shouldn't spend so much time and energy on other's problems.
Perhaps it's time to draw the line, be there for him, but move off and find a new special someone.
I'm sorry too, to hear that you're not well. Illness is always something we fear, and in this case, I (as with all your friends and family), feel for you. be strong and I'm sure you'll recover from this.
Be brave and I'm sure you'll move past this rocky road.
Good luck and get well soon!
2007-01-30 18:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by Hulabaloola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a guy in my life once who threatened suicide all the time. I don't wish to make light of that subject, but what I learned from that relationship was that he was abusive and controlling and the epitome of selfish. The threat of suicide in a relationship like that is usually for control and pity. To keep everything "all about them".
I am sorry you are hurting. It took me a long time to get over the mind games too.
There is hope in Jesus. God has not forsaken you. When we choose to get into a relationship with another "FREE WILL", the hurt and betrayal is from that person, not from God. He never said that you would never be without pain in life, He promised that He would never leave you or forsake you.
The very center of the Bible, Psalm 118:8 says that" it is better to take refuge in God than to put trust in man."
If I were you (and I have been) I would surround myself with healthy people and even find someone that I could trust to make myself accountable to. Abuse can only happen in isolation. Healing will come with time and with the hope God will give you from Himself and the good friends He will bring into your life.
2007-01-30 18:16:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are feeling like something is wrong with you or you did something wrong and God is punishing you.Thats wrong,dont listen to those thoughts!That is the 1st stages of mental abuse(go to your local women's shelter,they have lituature about the cycles).But yes this is a time for some self evaluation! You have to realize that you are only human,even though with God all things are possible,you have to step back and let him do the work .You cant fix everyones problems,but you can ease the pain of the problem by just being a freind.Start setting limits,or talk to some people you trust and ask how to set safe limits for helping people.Find out clue signs to tell if a problem is too big to handle.Realize that everytime a door closes a new one opens,embrass it.Crying over something you did your best to help is hindering you for new opportunities for TRUE happiness.Realize that you did youre best,it's their lose for wronging you and learn from it.People always wonder why bad things happen to them,not only is it a trial,but its going to shape you.Its preparing you for the next level in learning.Make all blocks stepping stones,and pull yourself out of this! I dont think depression is your style.
2007-01-30 18:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Maria, it sounds like you're going through some tough times in life. I can only say from experience that life will go on and make the best of what you have now cuz death will come eventually anyway so don't need to rush it. Also, it sounds like your boyfriend needs help in which you can't do much in the area of helping him psychologically. He needs to solve this problem on his own or get professional help. You by yelling at him isn't going to help him but make it worst. Just be there to support him but don't fight him. And if you feel that he's manipulating you then stay away from him when he does that so he gets the hint that you won't be playing that game. Take care.
2007-01-30 17:47:06 · answer #5 · answered by Believe me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you word your question makes it seem that you believe in Christianity. If that is the case then try to look at it this way. Maybe he wasn't your gift, maybe you were his. You were his precious gift from God and he squandered it. If you have faith keep it and take comfort in it, I'm sure that you were his gift and God will give you your something good now that you will REALLY appreciate it.
I'm not Christian but I hope that this helps. Pain is a great teacher and can be a really good friend. Its the only friend that will always make everything else look better.
2007-01-30 17:52:36 · answer #6 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like extreme boredom. Perhaps it's time you took the road less traveled? You might be surprised that there's more to life than what you've been struggling with. Get out there and discover nature! Enjoy, and live for today. Happiness is something you chose for yourself. It's not going to sneak up behind you and clunk you on the head. Guilt too is going to just hold you back. Take responsibility for yourself instead of feeling guilty all the time. YOU make your life.
2007-01-30 17:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by BuddyL 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop crying and get on with your life. Your boyfriend was a dud, get over it. Also get away from him as he has changed and is liable to hurt you.
Have you learned anything? This is a sad story, but others have overcame worse things in their life. You just have to put the past behind you and start looking forward. If you look forward and get your ducks all in a line, you will find that God will smile on you.
In fact, you are a good person, right? God is sure to smile on you then. Just don't give up hope.
2007-01-30 17:49:12 · answer #8 · answered by great gig in the sky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're ex did a terrible thing to you. I believe it will take time but you will be able to let him go. You sound like a good person who deserves someone way better than that. I hope you find him. I will pray for your health, so that you will recover from your surgeries. You will come out of all this a much stronger person. "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love him"(Romans 8:28) You are going to be fine. Just give it time.
2007-01-30 17:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by out of the grey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve all of this heartache. You sound like such a nice person, and I hope you find that special guy who will REALLY love you the way you deserve! Don't give up hope and please don't lose faith. It will all work out for the best in the end. Here's how I see it, "When God closes a door AND all the windows, there's always the skylight!"
2007-01-30 18:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by Tea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋