i have a problem. i am sexually attracted to my brother!!!! what do i do?????? he is 20 and i am thirteen with 3 siblings between us. but he is SO HOT! i dont like anyone but him. what do i do?
2007-01-30 16:56:29 · 3 answers · asked by mizbritt17 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
buti don want to talk to my parents .THEY ARE DEAD.
2007-01-30 17:00:36 · update #1
Maybe you can talk to a counselor at school. I do think that counseling might be helpful for you. One of the important things is to not act on these feelings of attraction!
After we begin puberty we are sexually attracted to many people but some of them will be inappropriate to have a sexual relationships with.
Sexual attraction is a bio-chemical thing and a reaction of the body and instincts. Your body and subconscious drives do not know that your brother is off limits!
As time goes on you will be sexually attracted to some boys who already have g/fs and later to some men that are married. After you are married you will be sexually attracted to some men who aren't your husband.
This happens to all of us! Contrary to what the movies teach us, it is important to not act on these feelings and urges. Whether you are interested in other boys or not, you need to put yourself in appropriate situations where you can meet boys and be open to being friends with them. This may help to reduce those sexual feelings toward your brother.
At 13 y/o you are really too young to date boys on a 1 to 1 basis and should participate in group activities where both boys and girls are present. At 13 y/o having sexual attractions to boys is relatively new to you. You need to practice being around boys your age so you can not only practice your relationship skills with them but also learn to handle your emotions with boys.
It is very easy at your age to go farther than you want to with a boy as emotions can get very strong. You need to set firm limits with yourself as to how far you will go and no farther.
It is natural for girls your age to be attracted to boys who are good looking and are older than you. Since your brother is 20 y/o and your father is dead, that may be a factor in your feelings also.
The other thing that I suspect might be going on with your sexual attractions toward your brother is that before puberty, there are no sexual attractions but you feel love toward your brothers. Then puberty comes along with it's sexual feelings. Most young people confuse sexual attraction with romantic love and think that they "love" the people that they are sexually attracted to.
In the beginning of puberty it takes awhile for a person to sort out their family love for their opposite sex family members from romantic love. Usually this goes on in the subconscious and the person is not consciously aware of this.
I know this has gotten to be a long answer but your question is an important one. I think that a good counselor while be able to help you sort out your feelings and be a support to you as you make good decisions in your life.
I am sorry that both of your parents are dead, you especially need a mature woman to advise you and help you learn the things you need to know at this time in your life. I don't know if you have an aunt who could help you with this or if there is a Big Sister organization near you but you might find either helpful.
God bless you honey. I hope that something I have written has been helpful.
2007-01-30 18:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your parents are dead, who do you live with? It doesn't matter how HOT your brother is, you can't act on your attraction. Is he your real brother or 1/2 brother or stepbrother. Try to stay away from him for awhile and pray and thank God for removing this attraction to your brother. I think you ned to talk to someone, how about your school teacher? How close are you to your bestfriends mom? Can you talk to her? Grandma? Aunt?
2007-01-30 18:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by azgrmadonna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents.
2007-01-30 16:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by artemisaodc1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋