I really like him, he is complicating things. and so is his girlfriend. help?

Question

Ok so before you all accuse me of being a "homewrecker" and attacking what I am doing/feeling you have to listen to the story.

I am a junior in highschool and I went to a party about 2 weeks ago where I was reunited with an old and suddenly gorgeous boy friend of mine. John and I hit it off right away, and he spent the whole night flirting with me and such.. and it was a bon fire so he was cuddling with me to keep me warm.

the next night we went out to dinner. and again this weekend. 2 days ago I heard that John has.. a "somewhat-girlfriend". She is a girl at another school i've never met, and apparently they have been "together" since January 1st. I really, really have very strong feelings for him and was getting excited about a future.. and he told me that he has feelings for me. I asked him about the girl but he didnt really answer it, he just complimented me to get off topic..

I dont want to give him up.. but I feel like i should do something.. help?

Answer 1

You should do something...do not let John drop it. He needs to tell you whether he has a girlfriend or not, and honestly if he does, he needs to end it with her before picking up with you. I don't think you are a homewrecker or anything like that. You like him...you didn't know. But now you know, and as a service to yourself as a woman who deserves a man to like JUST HER, you need to stand up for that and settle for nothing less. Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 2

Hey, I once fell in the same situation yet worse.
I met with an old friend after 3 years and we fell in love with each other. After a couple months together his brother told me he has a girlfriend, and the only reason he wouldn't tell me about her and why he couldn't break up with her is because she was carrying his baby. It broke my heart very much but something just made me wanna still hold on. I, like you, tried to talk to him about her. He tried to escape it a couple of time by telling me such sweet things but eventually I caught up to him. And after very long and horrid discussions together, we determined we'd still stay together. Thats how strong our love was. You see, I forgave him, because I love him. He, on the other hand, didn't want to hurt me, Because he was afraid to lose me...but when I knew, he was honest about it. Which is a good thing. Ya, his old girl hates me, but what can I do, thats what love is. So what I'm trying to say is, if he truly loves/likes you more than that other girl....he will give her up for you dear. If not, he's just using you like the girl on the side. So watch out and good luck. I hope I helped.

Answer 3

RED FLAG - he's not emotionally available. Imagine if you actually were his girlfriend and he was flirting with someone else, didn't want to talk about you to her. It could have been you, right?! I would just forget about this guy. He doesn't know what he wants and you're playing right into his game. The smartest thing you can do is move on. You need a good distraction! Make sure the guys you're involved with next time are available! Otherwise, you could very well find yourself in this very same situation again...only this time, your guy playing you for another girl! Don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you - plain and simple.

Answer 4

No offense to anyone involved, but this John is just trying to get some action. At your age (assuming he is somewhat the same age as you) that is what guys think about. Also, if he actually had any feelings for you he would end it with his current girlfriend, or end it with you (if he is serious and a good person).
So unless he is honest and tells you everything, just forget about him, there are BILLIONS of other guys out there.

Answer 5

You're in high school. I wouldn't be thinking about a future with this guy. I don't believe you have "really, really" strong feelings for him. You've only been reunited for two weeks and he was devious when you asked him about the other girl. Have fun, flirt and don't trust him as far as you can throw him.

Answer 6

Ask him again and insist on an answer. Do not let him compliment you and smooze you! Until he is straight with you, refuse to go out with him. You don't want to be in a relationship that could be based on a lie. They haven't been seeing each other long at all either- I do not feel you are wrong.

Answer 7

It only has to be complicated if you choose to make it that way.
Do you feel like he respects you if he admits he has another girl, & changes the subject when you ask him about her?
How can you expect him to respect you, if you don't have enough self-respect to stand up for yourself?
You are so dazzled by his good looks that you aren't seeing that he may have serious character flaws.

So what do you want, a trophy boyfriend, or your self-respect?
I don't think you can have both this time.

Answer 8

Yeah you should be VERY CAREFUL! His newer good looks my be going straight to his head and he may have a few other "somewhat- girlfriends." SAD to say Yes it gets worse if not stays as lame out side of highschool. So you should get him at his game have fun. Dont put all your eggs in one basket and get into the college you want to!!!!

Good luck!

Answer 9

Let it go, sorry to say it but there wont be anything between you two if he has someone else..or atleast until he decides whether he likes you or her. You might want to ask him about the girl again, because he just changed the subject, there might be something there.

Answer 10

If anything tell him how you feel. You're not together now and if you never met him at the party you probably wouldn't be asking this question. So basically, you have nothing to lose.