Jesus teaches us to forgive, to turn thy cheek. But how many times am I supposed to forgive someone without becoming a doormat? How many times is someone supposed to wrong me and I just keep telling them that I forgive them and they turn around and do it again? I just don't understand this. When is it time to say, enough is enough??
2007-01-30 16:39:18 · 56 answers · asked by bittersweet 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You can forgive without allowing them to continue taking advantage of you. Forgiveness doesn't mean you must keep putting yourself in the situation. Jesus said you must forgive 70x7. but he also said don't cast your pearls before swine. Which loosely translated, "don't put yourself in the position of having to forgive." If it's someone borrowing money just say "I don't have any to give you." (which is not a lie even if you have money, because you don't have it "for them". hope this helps, God Bless.
2007-02-06 07:04:30 · answer #1 · answered by plumberisfaithful 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is right to forgive, but that doesn't mean that you have to be a doormat! I can't advise you as to what to do exactly, as you don't say what the person did. But don't allow them to continue whatever it is they've done. Take yourself out of the situation, break up with the person, stop hanging around with the person, turn them in to the police if it is something illegal they have done, get an order of protection if someone has physically hurt you, change the locks on your door, whatever applies- just get yourself away from that person, and don't give them the opportunity to wrong you again! There is nothing noble or Christ-like about letting someone use and abuse you.
2007-02-07 13:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by Susan H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness has nothing to do with being a doormat. Forgiveness does two things: 1) it keeps you from being eaten alive by bitterness 2) it frees the other person from their past so that it doesn't destroy their future. To be effective for "the other person" they must truly "repent" or change their behavior. Sounds like there hasn't been any behavior change - therefore no true repentance. In this case a firm, concise, clear verbal communication needs to take place, letting the other person know that there will be consequences to the continued abuse. If it continues unchanged (the destructive behavior) then you can withdraw your friendship, or you can absent yourself from them. Protecting yourself is not a lack of forgiveness (because you are not going to let it embitter you - forgiveness rule #1 above). And letting someone continue to cause harm to another is not good for them - so the Law of Love must come into play - doing nothing to stop someone from harming themselves, (in this case, through harming someone else), is not love. Personal distance and "closing doors" is a great way to let both love and forgiveness work in many situations.
2007-02-07 07:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by wd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your suppose to forgive people no matter what as God forgives us when we ask. You do it without expecting the person to stop. There isn't a limit on how many times you should forgive a person, but if you forgive them and you letting it keep happening than that's for you to decide when enough is enough. You can forgive and not be taking advantage of.
2007-02-07 11:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by nache_042000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confusing forgiving with allowing a person to use you as a doormat. They are not one and the same. I'm not sure what kind of relationship you are speaking of. You can forgive a person, that doesn't mean you put yourself in the position to be used again. If you lend a person a $20 and they don't pay you back, you can forgive them. If they ask you for another $20 and they don't pay it back, you can forgive them. If they ask for you another $20, you say, I'm sorry, I cannot afford to keep giving you money and not getting paid back.
Forgiving doesn't mean you keep laying down in front of the car that you know is going to run you over.
2007-01-30 16:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by Esther 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Jesus said that we should forgive up to 70 x 7 times, which was an incalculable number among the people he was teaching; so that means that you should forgive and forgive and forgive. However, it does not mean that you have to become a doormat for anyone. That's not what forgiveness is all about. If someone is taking advantage of you then the best thing to do is to let them know that you're on to them and that it would be in everyone's best interest if they just took a hike.
2007-01-30 16:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by Richard B 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Yes Jesus teaches us to forgive but he also teaches us when "a enough is enough". He never wants you to be in a position were you aren't happy,what would Jesus gain by your unhappiness? Do you think Jesus likes seeing you get walked all over again and again? These feelings of "enough is enough" are your soul begging you to find a better place, a happier place were you can experience who you are.I don't know the whole facts about your situation but I can bet a million dollars it's not what Jesus wants for you.
2007-02-07 11:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by Sidetracked0260 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving isn't the same as being a door mat. When we forgive we clear our own slate and take away the power of the offender.
The biggest problem is convincing ourselves we deserve better- no matter what they say. I have been there. He promised he'd change and he did- for the worse, each time. The more you put up with the more you will be tested with.
Forgive him and get out. Enough is Enough. There is nothing he has to offer but pain. It took me years to recover- mostly because I still felt it was my fault. It is NOT OUR FAULT. No one deserves to be treated without respect.
God wants us to forgive- not be used, bullied and abused.
If you want to chat, please IM or E me- I've got nothing but time if you are sincere in seeking the life God created you for.
Be gentle with yourself. You are loved. Be blessed.
2007-01-30 16:51:31 · answer #8 · answered by skayrkroh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should only need to forgive a person once. If that person is really sorry about what they did they won't do it again. Anything else means they are playing you for a fool and they didn't really want forgiveness they just wanted you to think they did. So, not only did they wrong you but they lied to you as well. Eject them from your life. If Jesus teaches that you should keep forgiving over and over then his teaching is wrong.
2007-01-30 16:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by Rabble Rouser 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your are to forgive as God forgives.
that does not mean you have to stay there and be treated like a doormat again and again.
forgiving does not mean forgetting.
let me repeat that;
forgiving does not mean forgetting!!
the first time is the other person's fault.
every other time after that is your fault for remaining in the situation or relationship.
after the first time, you become the enabler.
if nothing happens when someone wrongs you, they figure "hey, why not keep doing it? nothing happens when I do".
you need to take whatever action is in your best interest.....and NOW!!
2007-01-30 16:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by Chef Bob 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋