My mother in Law is a C**T. She only calls my husband for $ or to be nosey. Never Just calling to say Hi, It is always to say how she wants to kill herself (never made a suicide attempt in the 8 years Ive been around) or to say she needs 200 or 300 dollars. She is 48 and hasnt had a job in 10 years her sons support her. I have put up with this crazy woman for 8 long years, she talks down about me in front of my child and says awful things to my 13 year old step son about me. Like how its my fault his parents split. ( even though I met him 5 years later) I have just had it with her. However he is very protective of his mother. I told him she was a Bit** once and he didnt talk to me for 2 days. Can I cuss her out and tell her to stay away? Is that fair to him? Every time she calls he gets a look on his face like he is instantly irritated. I had to teach him how to live right to have a good life it took me almost 5 years to show him you can be happy she was that bad of a mother. Seriously
2007-01-30 16:18:05 · 10 answers · asked by megs 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
California is a big state why cant she go away??? can I tell her to?
2007-01-30 16:18:57 · update #1
Wow. Sounds like neither of you like when she calls, but I would be cautious about telling her off without talking to your husband first. It sounds as if he and his brothers feel they must take care of her even if they don't like the idea. But he has already shown you how upset he gets when you speak ill of her.
Your situation sounds difficult -- but not impossible. I think you need to talk with your husband rationally and without the aggressive anger you're showing here. Chances are, his family thinks of his mother as fragile, and therefore will protect her from any threat. They also have some positive feelings toward her, which is probably always going to be true, since she is their mother.
So you need to talk to him in such a way that he doesn't feel like his mother is threatened, but so that you are able to be heard about the way she makes you feel. One technique might be to ask him how HE feels about her.
If he admits to being uncomfortable too, then you are both on the same side of this situation. You can work TOGETHER to find solutions to your issues, and possibly hers as well. If he doesn't admit to his discomfort, don't berate him about it, but rather ask him to help YOU decide how to best deal with her. If you two aren't on the same team on this, it's going to get more and more adversarial, and you'll be the odd man out.
I wish you all the luck in the world. Just remember that she IS his mother, and he's always going to be concerned for her.
2007-01-30 16:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Chris C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after almost 18 years of verbal abuse ( basically the same you are going through....she was an alcoholic ) we finally bonded after i told her off......( put your beer mug down and quit being an ignorant BIT** ) I told my hubby that i knew he was a mammas boy and that he loved her very much but the wedding vows were ......for-sake-ing ALL others and that included her I WAS NOT going to take any more and if he didn't like it he could move back in with her !...it caused a rift for a few days but oh well.We lost her on the 24th of this month at the age of 80 and believe it or not i kind of miss her now....... Tell your hubby that the cord needs to be cut and he needs to be weened if you two are going to have anymore of a future together. I hope all can work out for you two....we are working on 19 years
2007-01-31 00:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does name calling accomplish? Sorry but this is an issue that you need to discuss with your husband, he is the one that needs to stand up for you to his mother. As hard and frustrating as this may be for you, calling her names is not the answer.
2007-01-31 00:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound so angry about this.
Look..she's your husband's mother and you have to speak with him about how you feel. Ask him how he feels about it. She is going to be his mother..and he will probably feel some responsibility towards her no matter what. It sound like you all need to communicate your feelings though. That can really help the matter.
2007-01-31 00:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, calling her names is not going to help your husband. You need to sit down and have a talk with your husband, and explain to him without cussing and putting her down how you feel.
If she is putting you down in front of your child, tell your husband that she is not allowed to see your child until she can stop.
2007-01-31 00:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can tell her where to go, but there's not guarantee that she will, hell even Satan may not want her there, lol. Your husband really needs to talk to her and address this issue. If you did you guys are just going to argue and you're going to look like the b&#ch. Talk to your husband and let him deal with it.
2007-01-31 00:21:42 · answer #6 · answered by mypassions4life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient, show some respect to your mother in law and respect you shall receive. Enough said. End of story.
2007-01-31 00:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mark L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't change her, but he was supposed to choose you and he's staying with his mommy. Find a real man, not a grown up child.
2007-01-31 00:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married a wimp, blame yourself.
2007-01-31 00:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can if you want....but that will make things worse between your husband and you...
2007-01-31 00:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋