What is the need for all of the judgmental glares and rude wispers??? I don't understand people now a days

Question

Why do some people feel the need give younger mothers who aren't doing anything wrong with their child(ren) dirty looks. I don't feel this is fair to the women who decided to have kids at a younger age. I feel if you can afford it and you are stable in a relationship why not ya know. I mean these parents that do this are the ones who are saying you should be married before having kids and what kind of example are you setting for your child by not being married but correct me if i am wrong these people that are being so judgmental are they not setting a bad example for their child(ren) by pretty much saying go ahead and judge people by what they look like and what not??

HOW DO YOU ALL FEEL ABOUT THIS??

OH NO NO NO I AM JUST SPEAKING IN GENERAL, I DON'T LET ANYONE BRING ME DOWN AND IF I GET A NASTY LOOK I AM QUICK TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. WHAT I AM SAYING HERE IS THE SAME PEOPLE WHO SAY YOU MUST BE MARRIED TO HAVE A KID AND WHAT NOT AND SAY THAT YOUNG MOTHERS ARE BAD MOTHERS AND ARE SO QUICK TO JUDGE WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING THEIR CHILDREN. I MEAN IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT IN THAT KIND OF SITUATION THE MOTHER WHO IS GIVING THE NASTY LOOK IS THE ONE WHO IS WRONG AND LOOKS BAD AS WELL NOT THE WOMEN SHE WAS GIVING AN EVIL LOOK TO.

Answer 1

People that are insecure are always going to find SOMETHING to judge other people for, if it's not someones parenting skills its the car they drive or the clothes they wear... I know it's difficult to let that stuff go and to ignore it but just do the best you can. All you are responsible for is how you raise your own children, and as long as you are doing a good job, you shouldn't have to please anyone else. There are always going to be people that think it's bad to have kids before marriage, either they are really religious or are just trying to feel better about themselves because they are insecure. I mean lets face it if the people who are being judgemental and rude actually had happy marriages and were good parents they wouldn't feel the need to pick apart other parents. It is when someone is insecure that they try to find faults in others to try and make their own faults invalid. The only thing you can do is try to ignore it and if you let them get to you, you are letting them win.

Answer 2

I hate it and get it all the time. Im 28 and have 3 (9,10 and almost 12). I had my first at 17, second at 18 and the third a month before I turned 20. My kids have turned out to be wonderful kids (difficulties and all). I get THE LOOKS from all sorts of people, once an older lady actually stopped me and tied to give me a lecture, it took everything not to smack her. Dont judge me when you dont know anything about me. My hubby and I have been together for 13 years(since high school), yes we took the hard way but have learned and dealt with more than most people. Six months ago I almost lost my hubby(he had 2 strokes and brain surgery) and I realize life is way to short to care what other peole think or say. Live your life cause its yours, that way when your old and wrinkled you can sit back and say YOU did it with no regrets!!!!

Answer 3

I agree with a little bit from everyone who's said something before me. I had my daughter 9 months after my 17th birthday. In some people's minds there's nothing you can do to make them happy. The same people who are violently anti abortion seem to also get mad at me because my daughter is in daycare while her father and I both attend school full time and work (daddy full time me part time). The fact that without the money from our jobs she'd starve and without our educations we wouldn't be able to get better jobs in the future doesn't even seem to cross their minds. We're not married either...we live as a family and are married in everything but name and taxes. But somehow the fact that a man of the cloth hasn't blessed it and we don't share last names is scarring our daughter for life. I'll never understand it. I plan on following in the tradition of many young mothers who not only survive but they succeed and anyone who doubts me can just step aside. I also believe as long as you feel you're right with your god then no one Else's opinion matters a bit. And I agree with you. I feel my daughter is better off in some ways than the snippy peoples children. At least she will grow up being taught tolerance and love and good work ethic. She'll know that people can succeed no matter what they start out with and that hard work will take you where you want to go in life. She'll learn that everyone is the same once you look inside their hearts and that assumptions can be dangerous things.

Answer 4

I was grandfather at age 39. We started our family when we were each 19. These judgemental poeple are around all the time. Even when we were raising our children. We got a lot of looks all the time we just chose to ignore them. Could it be that these people are insecure & feel treated by younger parents. Or maybe they see something in us that they wish they had done themselves. We got a lot of funny looks & wispers. We were the youngest parents in all my childrens classes. We found it laughable. We didn't care if they approved or not. They weren't paying my bills or raising my children. Don't be upset and don't be afraid to stand your ground if one of them gives you any grief. Ignore them & If they don't like it it's their problem not yours. Just think how funny it is when I go out golfing with my grandson who is now 12. Somebody says thats cool you are teaching your son to golf? I say "Yes but he's my grandson." The dumb founded looks are hillarious beyond imagination.

Answer 5

I totally agree with you. I look a lot younger than I am ( I am 24 but look 18) I often get a lot of dirty looks but i just ignore it because I am happily married and I love my daughter. I think people for the most part should just keep their opinions to themselves unless they are asked.

Answer 6

who cares what they think? I'm 22, pregnant, and not married. It's not something that I am proud of, but at the same time....it happened! I don't have any regrets. Only God can judge me!

Answer 7

i know how you feel i was 18 when i was pregnant the 1st time and i looked 15. people even asked me how i could do this to my family being so young. i didnt listen to any of them i just went on my way.

Answer 8

if you can afford it, if you are emotionally stable and secure then go for it, regardless of age.
my issue is with those the chose to start a family that can't support it. like depending on welfare(yes medicaid is welfare) to raise their kids.