I am an excellent musician but my mother doesn't support me.....?

Question

So I am very involved with music- I am in all the concert bands at my school, and I taught myself how to play guitar by myself. I have paid for all my own instruments and I really don't ask my parents for much when it comes to my music. Anyway, I mentioned to my mother that I want to work as a musician when I am older (as a part time thing) and she FLIPPED OUT. She said that I will make no money and that it is really hard to make it in that business, and that I should be a lawyer or something instead. My mom thinks I am wasting my time with music- she doesn't go to my concerts very often and she despises every aspect of my passion for music. I am a great student in school and an all around well behaved kid. I don't really understand what her problem is... but how can I make my mom accept the fact that I want to be a musician? Is there anything I can do for her to stop lecturing me about this?

Answer 1

I have the same problem. As long as you are under her roof, you live by her rules. Luckily, parents have no control over what you do when you move out. If she cuts you off, consider the army band. You get a steady job and some serious benefits. Alternatively, try getting started with a Cruise ship gig- you have to be versatile, but it sounds like you've got that down. They are in serious need of musicians. Fairly crappy pay, but you would be living on a cruise, for crying out loud. It's a nice jump start to playing music professionally.

Reread- you wanted to do music as a part time thing? I don't see the problem, as long as you major in something else. Make it clear to momma that you are pursuing a _______ degree for a ________ profession, and that music will be more of a spare-time thing. Let her know that it won't interfere with whatever it is you choose to do, and cite your current grades/successes as evidence.

Make sure that she knows that there IS money in part-time music stuff, too. I'm just a HS student, and by building relationships with local school-teachers, I'm now teaching kids for $25 an hour. Older (established) teachers can get between $35-$50 an hour, or even more! My mentor runs a repair shop out of his basement, and regularly rakes in $20-$100 dollars for what usually ends up being less than an hour of work. He gets business from just about every school in the county, too.

All of that money isn't too shabby for a hobby, now is it?

Answer 2

you sound like a well-rounded kid with some realistic ideas -- did you say "part time" musician.

music is a great way to express yourself, and if you have some ability, a great way to entertain and join in with other people -- a great way to make friends.

So if your mom might be worried that you will try to make a living at it. Keep her in the loop about what your career plans are and what you are doing to prepare yourself.

She may be worried that the musicians you are playing with will introduce you to drugs and alcohol. If that's her worry, keep her in the loop on your friends and their lifestyles, too.

You let your mother know that you are realistic and responsible, and that your enjoyment of music is a hobby that rounds out your life, but will not consume you or take you away from her... and she will not resent or fear this important part of your life.

Answer 3

'Rents love their kids & want best 4 them. But hobbies can get very expensiv! Think of Arts as hobby & expense. Even if Ur good It may never pay! Folk support Arts since they love their kids & want things 4 them! Time spent practicing takes it from other things. Stay w/ some thing is good but time may b 4 nothing. It's busnes! Teachers hardly make it, especle non/ not 4-profit ( poor). It's fine 2 enjoy art but treat it like any busines. Pay 4 hobbies w/ money You earn urself. Ask pro's questions - Learn what U need 2 know. Go 2 schol &/ or work. Help at home, be adult, not a burden.

Answer 4

well, you mom is right on ONE thing, you have to be very good to really make it in that business. my great uncle is a musician in NYC and has worked very hard for the last 25 years to get to the point he is now. he is a private composer and does wonderful music, but he had to go through the hard times first. just be prepared, it is very rewarding if you are good, and you can make money. but it is not fast and not cheap. I thing you should go for it. my dad was on my case about my wanting to be a chef, then I told him that with in 1 year of graduating I could make 5x what he makes. then he shut up. you can get good money in the music industry, don't let your mom get you down.

Answer 5

Well if I was in your position I really wouldn't care and when I did make it in the music business I would rub it in her face and that would be my inspiration. But since you do care, talk to her tell her how you feel tell her that you don't understand why she doesn't believe in you. Explain to her why you love music. Better yet show her. Musicians love to be on stage. Tell her how you imagine yourself on stage in front of a crowd. That you feel that music is your calling. Not to be a lawyer or something. Tell her it is how you express yourself and that musicians are artists. The music that they make the lyrics to songs (etc.).Tell her, show her that music is what you like to do. Well I hope everything goes well.

Answer 6

my husband is aprofessional musician.. has played with the kentucky headhunters, hank williams junior, rhett akins, micheal english, and about everyone in the southern gospel music.. although successfull.. i have not much use for him as a husband.. supportive yes.. but as far as a musician and a family man.. no.. so if you plan on being single and having no family.. go for your dream.. and where your talent leads you. other wise pick somethhing else.. youmother is onto something that she has no idea about.. no matter how big the pay checks are.. theres no happiness that follows.. the new cars, big house, private schools, arenothing with out everyone being together.. music tore our family apart. because he could never be home with us.. infact.hes someone out in nashville right now.. working.. hasnt been "home" since dec. 27

Answer 7

Ever think that she knows there are millions of kids just like yourself that wishs to have careers in music and she knows that very few will achive it? If this is something you want do it as a hobby for now when your older and on your own follow your dream. However I do suggest you get a college education to fall back on "just in case" this doesnt work out for you.

I had a huge passion for music growing up we had our own band I played the drums {yes im a girl} my mom however thought it was "cute" I was in a band but she knew and I guess I did to in the back of my head it wouldnt go beyond local gigs and garages

Silly boy giving me thumbs down because you dont like my answer..shame on you lol

Answer 8

If your music teachers agree with you, have her talk to them. People do make livings at music, one way and another.