wHAT KIND OF PRIVILEGES ARE APPROPRIATE FOR A 13 YR. OLD GIRL?

Answer 1

Depends on if she gets good grades, if she does what shes supposed to. Over all if shes a good kid then phone, internet (for a set amount of time/day, like maybe a hour) weekends have some friends over, or be able to go to friends, go to the movies things like that. 13 is still young and they should not be aloud to do everything and anything.

Answer 2

It all depends where you live too. I live in the country and I have 2 daughters past this stage already.

-Friends over? -on occasion
-Join a sports team from school-yes
-Spend the night at a girlfriends house-if I knew the parents
-Boyfriend-no
-Drinking-no
-tattoos-no
-piercings-on ears only
-no provocative clothing
-makeup-some but, not alot


I would pick my daughters up if they went to a movie or bowling. And if they wanted to go to a friends house overnight, I always called the parents just to be sure it was okay and that was the true story. My girls also had to do chores if they wanted allowance. Dishes, laundry, cooking....that sort of stuff. My boys also had the same sort of rules, but, they did outdoor chores, like cutting grass, emptying garbage, feeding dogs, etc. So, it really all depends on where you live. In a city? That's a total different story.

Answer 3

Teens in America today have no place. They are not children, they are not adults and they are not allowed to be anywhere. my group of friends and I decided that instead of letting our kids struggle with that while learning to be adults we would focus on the learning to be adults. At 13, our kids have a special coming of age ceremoy where they are accepted as adults-in-training. Then they earn privileges by taking up responsibilities in the house and community and by writing essays where they explore topics like, "What it means to be an adult" and "What makes a good man/woman a good man/woman". They share their essays with their parents and any other adult they want to and earn a privilege if they can talk about it and show us they have thought about it. One of the girls is about to turn 14 and has been working so hard to be adult that we had to stop her a little. The kids really feel respected and like they have a place.
The privileges start with stuff like no limits on TV time as long as they accept the consequences (tiredness and falling grades mean an extra essay and a loss of that privilege). They earn time at the mall (unsupervised) and time on the phone or a prepaid cell phone of their own. They earn the freedom to choose what they eat as long as they make dinner for the whole family that night with a mind to everyone's health and nutrition. You know your daughter, you know what she can do and what she is not ready for. She probably isn't ready for boyfriends but is there any harm in letting her go on group dates where she and her boyfriend (somebody's parents drive) meet up with their friends etc. She is probably ready to choose when to go to bed but make sure to explain the consequences of missed classes and homework and explain that once a privilege is lost, it is twice as hard to earn back. The best person to help you answer this, is your daughter. She will be responsible for her entire existence in only 5 years, she should have a say in what she may earn or learn.

Answer 4

I do not have children that age yet, nor do i have any daughters...but i know what i was allowed when i was 13. I was allowed phone use til 9:00pm on school nights, 10:00pm on weekends. My curfew was the same depending on where i was going, adults present, that sort of thing. I had to do dishes and laundry, things of that sort if i wanted cash. I did not just get an allowance. I was allowed friends over occasionally, allowed to go to school functions of almost any nature. I think really it depends on the parent, and the child. Maybe discuss with your daughter what she wants and then negotiate what she will recieve as far as curfews, phone use, internet ect....good luck!

Answer 5

I think it depends. She is getting to a age where trust needs to be earned. If she plays with in your boundary's and never try's to cross them, then maybe try and expand those boundary's. If she is breaking your trust, and defying you, then tighten those boundaries. Always have set consequences for rule breaking, and be ready to expand her privileges once she gets with the program.

Definite NOs
Boyfriends
Chat rooms, or chatting with people YOU don't know.
Same goes for Myspace, or other social networking sites where strangers can contact her.

Answer 6

Going to the mall/movies with her GIRLfriends.
Staying up till 10ish
Seeing some already approved pg-13 movies.

Answer 7

Gosh, this question is so broad, it is hard to answer, but I'll give it a shot.

boyfriend - no
sleepover with girlfriend - yes
phone privileges til 9 pm - yes
tattoo - no
pierced ears - yes
cell phone - no
babysitter - no
wants to be a babysitter - yes
computer (supervised) - yes
go to rock concert with friends - no
wants to experiment with drug use - no no no no

I know I probably left out some stuff, but if you want answers for something specific, revise your question.

Answer 8

I have a lot of experience with 13-year-olds and I am acquainted with the question.The "privileges" which are appropriate for a 13-year-old girl depend on her maturity.At 13 you can see behavior going up(or down) with 5 years!Which means she may behave as a 8-year-old sometimes and other times behave as an 18-year-old.To know how mature she is you have to spend a lot of time with her.Otherwise you may think she is immature and she would be mature at the same time.And maturity isn't her willingness to do what you say her.No,it is following your orders but not maturity.How to understand quickly if she is mature or not without spending much time with her?Try these ones:

- Does she spend time in the bathroom,"contending" with the acne?
- Does she spend time on the computer,chatting with her friends?
- Does she have older friends?
- Has she been babysitting successfully little children?
- Does she have a brother or a sister?
- Does she argue with you when she doesn't agree your opinion on some subject?
- Does she have particular interests like animals or babysitting or collecting something?
- Does she decide alone what to wear every day?
- Does she make her homework without your interference?
- Does she go to bed when she decides without your interference?
- Does she eat her lunch out of home(at the deli or at school) because there is no chance to be at home for lunch time during week?
- Does she safe some money without your interference(which mean you don't make her safe)?
- Does she know how to make a tea and a sandwich alone?
- Do you leave her alone at home for more than 1 hour a day?
- Does she have a cellphone?
- Does she go out in the weekends without you need to tell her what time to come back?

If more than half of these questions have the answer YES,then you are lucky - your daughter is mature enough and I will suggest you what privileges she is ready to have.If less than half of these have the answer YES,I will suggest you how to help her become mature.

How to help a 13-year-old become mature:
1.Teach her that people learn from their mistakes
2.Give her a second chance instead of punishing or helping her
3.Show lack of interest what is she doing
4.Listen to her and respect her opinion without agreeing if you think you shouldn't agree
5.Don't pamper her with the only aim not to suffer
6.Give her chances to take responsibilities after you have explained what has to e done and let her do it the way she likes best
7.Show interest what her friends are but don't determine what her friends have to be
8.Talk with her about what she is doing without controling it
9.Love her inconditionally
10.Teach her to respect herself and respect yourself in order to give her an example
11.Discuss news,events from the day,TV-shows, movies,etc.
12.Show her places where people live differently than you
13.With questions help her think about things she wouldn't think about if you don't ask her
14.Let her spend more time alone at home
15.Don't punish her - instead discuss her mistakes and let her improve her behavior or repair the broken thing without your interference

If you have found out that your daughter is mature,congrats and here are age-appropriate 'privileges' which she deservs:

1.She can stay alone at home after school until you come back from work(and it's not reasonable to deprive her of that responsibility as she isready to take it)
2.She can babysit children during summer(if she is interested)
3.You don't have to limit TV-time,time on the phone,time on the computer and bedtime(if you notice she constantly spends too much time on the PC just remind her she needs some rest too)
4.She can sleep in her friend's house
5.She can go out in the evenings if she tells you when she will be back and where(and with who) she is going(that's only for the evenings - you don't have to interrogate her for going out during day).She can be let be out in the evenings till 22:00 in summer and 21:00 in winter(if she takes up a sport which lasts enough to make her be out after 21:00,you should tell her to go home right after the sport).
6.You shouldn't check her homeworks for mistakes or something like that - let her be responsible for that alone
7.Don't forbid her going out with boys her age - she may want this experience and she is not so young to have it.Of course she should be aware of sex, condomes, birth-control pills, pregnancy, abortions, risks,etc.And you should't think that once she has gone out with a biy on a date,they are already having sex!That's ridiculous.

I hope I've been helpful.Good luck with your growing teenage daughter.

Answer 9

keep a good eye on her this is the age most girls have sex for the first time!

Answer 10

well does she hang out with older boys or manly girls. does she tell u were she is going.does she lie .