The current guy absolutely adores you. The someone else, you absolutely fancy. The someone enjoys the same hobbies as you do and is tall mature and understanding...
2007-01-30 14:28:52 · 13 answers · asked by phutured_21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."
The whole point in dating someone (in most cases) is to find true love. Three years is a long time to be in a relationship with someone. I'm assuming you are truly in love with your current boyfriend, so why would you want to start all over again from square one with someone new? Don't you and your boyfriend share similar hobbies? Is he mature, understanding and tall? If not, are those things really important to you? When you started dating your boyfriend, you knew the type of person he was and you were able to live with him as is for three long years, so why give up now? Do you love your boyfriend? I think all you need is some excitement in your relationship. You probably miss how exciting it was to date, or maybe you didn't date enough before getting into a serious relationship. I spent years dating several different types of people until I finally found the one. None of my relationships ever lasted longer than three months because I became bored of what people had to offer. Finally I found the man of my dreams and we're engaged. Sure, it's boring at times but we do things to keep the spark alive. I know if I left him for someone new, I wouldn't feel as comfortable as I do with him. Find hobbies you and your boyfriend both enjoy and try to find that spark that brought you together in the beginning. Hope this helped.
2007-01-30 14:45:05 · answer #1 · answered by Desiree 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think you might want to give up the one you have for one you might be able to get? Before you do that, if you care about the person you are with, and there isn't some reason why you are finding yourself wanting to be with someone else, i.e. cheating, abuse, then why not try to do something new with your guy? At some point in most long-standing relationships, you get bored. Maybe this is just a grass is greener situation? Make a date night with your guy. Try some new things in the bedroom. Take one night a week and just sit and hold each other while you watch a movie, or whatever you guys like to do. Sometimes when that spark goes out of the relatioship, your eye starts to wander. If you think your relationship is worth salvaging, then try to do something to save it. Maybe your man feels the same way you do, maybe he is looking at prospects also. How would you feel if the situation was flipped? How would you feel if after three years he just wanted to try something new with someone new? Tell him how you feel, I would leave out the part about how you are interested in someone else, but tell him that your bored, or tired of being with him for whatever reason, or whatever it is that is causing you to want to move on. If he knows what the problem, then he stands a much better chance of being able to fix it.
2007-01-30 14:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by missm43050 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to take this like you're talking about you and your boyfriend. How serious are you and your current boyfriend? If you've been with him for as long as you say you have, it's sounds pretty serious.
On one hand, if your boyfriend means a lot to you, I would suggest cutting relations with this other guy because it sounds like you're starting to fancy him quite a lot. That can only mean trouble for your current relationship. On the other hand, if you and your boyfriend are having a rocky relationship and/or you're not serious, I think it would be okay to get to know the guy a little better and work your way up into a healthy friendship with him.
However, I do not recommend that you dump your current boyfriend and go rushing off with this other guy. And I certainly don't recommend cheating. That kind of history will haunt you later on in life if you decide to settle down. Keep your slate as clean as possible.
2007-01-30 15:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by Joa5 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've also been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and have recently gone through the same thing.. I started a new job and met a guy that I thought was really cool... I was talking with my best friend shortly after and she told me about her break up with her longtime boyfriend last year... She got bored with him, and other guys started to look more attractive to her. She dumped him because she couldn't handle the boredom anymore.... and then after being with the new guy for 6 months became bored with him too... then she told me something that her mom told her. "You'll get bored with every guy eventually, it happens, but there's a reason that you're with him and you love him, it's because he's a good man. Don't go looking for excitement, stay with love." My friend told me that hearing that made her very sad, because her former boyfriend had since moved on, and she still hasn't found the same love and comfort with anyone else. That was enough to make me stop wondering if I should break up with my boyfriend. I feel the love and comfort with him, and as nice as another guy might seem he may not provide the same things. Unless there is a reason why you shouldn't be with your boyfriend.. I'd stick it out. If you don't like him anymore, than fine.. but make sure you end things with your current boyfriend before you start something new with another guy.. because if not, you'll cause more pain to someone who doesn't deserve it and, "absolutely adores" you, like you said. good luck.
2007-01-30 14:43:47 · answer #4 · answered by soft rockstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you think about it, it's easy to stray after a long, enduring relationship. You've been with the same person for a long time. Analyze your feelings for both people. In the end, if you decide to choose the newer, it's not a crime to break up. It's VERY hard but not wrong.
My general rule is if you find someone else tempting--not attractive but tempting--then you need to dump who you are with. Not because the person you're looking at is for you--heavens, no. But it is because the person you are with is not the one you truely love.
2007-01-30 14:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by jdd's_kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes relationships just run there courase and its time for them to end im going through the same thing as well with my ex we get along great never argue and have a strong physical attraction to each other but the is no chemistry, no spark anymore we just need to go our seperate ways maybe you do to
2007-01-30 14:40:07 · answer #6 · answered by Randy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with the current guy before you even think about going put with the new guy. In fact, break up with the current guy now since you have doubts, don't string him along to "spare his feelings" because that will just cause more hurt.
2007-01-30 14:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Toga 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it means you end the current relationship because you're practically over it anyway. trust me, i was there and i'm all the better for walking away from it. three years is a long time to be with anyway... you're just getting restless in the relationship (same monotony, etc.). Try the dating world once again and good luck.
2007-01-30 14:33:48 · answer #8 · answered by bunny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to break up with this guy your going out with and not just lead him on,you will be alot to happier when your going out with a guy you can love.Good Luck.
2007-01-30 14:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by 2jackweedm 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
3 years...is on the line...that love cannot be replaced...but if you think it is time for a change...then go with the new guy,...
2007-01-30 14:33:02 · answer #10 · answered by Problem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋