My gf whom I have known 4 a year is mixed (chinese america). We live in different states but tks to her, she has had a strong determination to make things work, and so far they have worked great. She has gone as far as introducing me to her family and they r all excited about me. the problem is that I'm afraid my g/f may have to wait a little longer than i think she's ready for, b4 we can get married. I have a major commitment on my part that I must meet that will certainly push our marriage at leat a year back. we have talked, and she seems to understand, but I am not convinced she grasps the magmnitude of the sacrifice (decision) that I am preparing to make, that will likely change our lives drastically. We have talked about moving overseas together, and she is already making plans to precede me. How do i tell her to put things on hold without giving the impression that I am stepping back, because i am not? I love this lady like I have loved no other, and she is a wonderful mate.
2007-01-30 13:59:04 · 6 answers · asked by cram 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is there a language barrier here? Why can't you make it clear about your commitment?
You can't prepare to marry if you can't communicate.
2007-01-30 14:06:15 · answer #1 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound so sweet and so true. She seems like a planner and if she is such than she understands the nature of planning. It sounds like their is a valid reason why you need to hold off on her planning and all you need to do is explain it to her. Understanding is everything in communication. Sometimes we tell something to someone else thinking they are hearing it the same way we think they are hearing it but they aren't. If you are unsure ask her to tell you what she thinks about what you just said.
2007-01-30 14:03:58 · answer #2 · answered by leanne_13212000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never said what the problem is, so i don't know what really to tell you. i'd say fix things as fast as you can, but i think that if you talk to her she will understand why there's a wait. Best of luck to you!!!
2007-01-30 14:05:06 · answer #3 · answered by dthsmx5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reinforce your love and commitment, then break it to her gently.
2007-01-30 14:03:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her like you wrote it here.
2007-01-30 14:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, thats an interesting question! lol! 20/F wondering the same thing... holla back
2007-01-30 14:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by Emily W 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋