this debt is from a bad business deal and his last divorce its about 25k.i can pay it off but i feel its unfair for him to ask me since this happened all before he met me.men can u tell me would u ask your gf to pay off one of your debts?
2007-01-30 13:40:32 · 22 answers · asked by heather4netty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm a woman so no this hasn't happened to me, but there's no way I'd pay off my BF's debts, that's his problem. Plus you'll see what he really wants if you say no. I can't understand anyone expecting anyone else to pay their debts, if their big enough to make them they should be big enough to pay them. If by some chance you weaken and decide to pay them cover your *** and make him sign a promissory note and for that kind of money it should be notarized.
2007-01-30 13:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way dont do it - that is a really bad sign. You may want a long engagment and make him work on that himself. In CA so long as he doesnt have access to your accounts after marriage then creditors cannot go into your account to get debt paid. If you do get married - DO NOT GET A JOINT BANK ACCOUNT OR JOINT CREDIT. I would stand this ground until his debt is paid off. In fact I probably wouldnt get married until this is under control - by him. Do not let emotions get in the way of you making good financial decisions for yourself - if this relationship doesnt work out you do not want to have him put you in debt.
2007-01-31 19:30:17 · answer #2 · answered by DD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY GOD!!!!! Why on earth have you agreed to marry this pig? Does he not have any manners OR morals?
Maybe if he has asked you to HELP with the repayments as a joint effort. His debt from the past marriage and whatever the 'bad business deal' was is his worry and shouldn't burden you with this (not that you have said he has - but anyway). Asking you to pay for your own engagement ring is terrible!!!!
2007-01-30 22:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by sambo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your BF to get lost so that you will never have to see him again. Hope you are smart and wake up. What obligations do you have to pay off his debts and what rights does he have to ask for this. He is using you and it is time to kick him out of your life. Do you know what $ 25K means in todays world of economics. For some it takes years to save this kind of money. He wants it free. Are you FREE ?
Good Luck
2007-01-30 23:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by US 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there any reason that is has to be paid off now? if not, then the answer is an absolute no.
i also think you should take into consideration that he waited until after you got engaged to ask for your help...seems to me like he was hoping you'd feel obligated to help if you were his fiancee.
bottom line : don't do it....if he gets upsets, it will be crystal clear that he is using you.
good luck, and i'll hope for the best.
p.s. as a side note, i'd be wary of marrying a man who could get himself into so much debt in the first place.
2007-01-30 22:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by jennyvee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could do a lot with $25k. You should be investing that. You could make over 5% on that in an online savings account (see Countrywide Bank's Savingslink). You should figure out what financially makes sense for the both of you once you are married, but do not pay it off beforehand. You will regret it! You should make him pay off a certain % of it before you are married.
2007-01-30 21:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by happygirl23334 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!!! I know I'm another girl, and you're looking for guys' perspectives, but I have to say that seems very wrong. Almost like fraud. On the other hand, once you're married his debt is your debt. Still, if I were in the situation, I wouldn't marry him until he was in the clear.
2007-01-30 21:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by mina_lumina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally inappropriate for him to ask you to do that.
Even after marriage, each person's debts that they had before the marriage remain their own. Still, to be sure, I would consult a pre-nup lawyer ASAP.
Ask him what plan HE has, for paying off HIS debt. It is not your job.
You might also check out a few books form Suze Orman-- that may help you with these issues somewhat.
2007-01-30 21:48:26 · answer #8 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it. 25k is a lot of money. There is now way in hell I would. I feel that he shouldn't be asking you to pay his debts, especially a debt he got BEFORE he met you. That is crazy.
2007-01-30 23:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by prtybrneyez1081 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've helped my bf with some bills since he just graduated from med school and just getting on his feet (but I insisted on it). So I understand why you'd want to help the guy you love. BUT 25,000?!?! The fact that he is ASKING you to do this is crazy, girl. Unless you could flush 25K without blinking, I wouldn't do it. Even then, I'd think twice.
2007-01-31 00:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by Kimia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋