I feel like im at a personal crossroads in my life and I feel awful. I am a Christian and so is my fiance, who is wonderful in every way. We are 20, we'll be almost 22 when we get married . We plan to get married next may (15 months) and we want to just be together for several years before starting a family, which we also want deeply. To answer questions that you may be wondering, we WANT to get married young... we want to experience things together and struggle together. Both sets of parents did (they married VERY young) and still happily married.
However Ive been cursed with outward beauty. It sounds bad but I get too much attention for it and lately because of something that is missing inside of me, Im looking for something lacking in my relationship with my fiance... and im having problems with temptation with another guy. Im resisting it but i feel like all this is rooting from a deeper problem that is just ME. How do i find this... Im so lost. I feel like I have lost touch
2007-01-30 13:35:04 · 19 answers · asked by Christines256 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
with God. Im lacking Him and trying to use sexual attention to fill up the void in my heart. Please this is a serious question.
2007-01-30 13:35:55 · update #1
I know not to rely on yahoo, but Im very disappointed in the quality of answers Im getting. Theres got to be better Christians out there.
2007-01-30 13:44:34 · update #2
We all go through various trials and temptations, and these are allowed by the Lord to grow us in our faith.
As a Christian, you should be aware of the promise in I Corinthians 10:13. It says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it."
Naturally, there are other similar promises, but there's no sense beating you to death with Scripture.
Temptation is merely the first part of the test. If you flee the temptation, you are stronger against that type of temptation. If you fail to flee it, the temptation will grow stronger.
James puts it this way: "Instead, each person is tempted by his own desire, being lured and trapped by it. When that desire becomes pregnant, it gives birth to sin; when that sin grows up, it gives birth to death." (James 1:14-15)
John agrees by saying, "For everything that is in the world-the desire for fleshly gratification, the desire for possessions, and worldly arrogance-is not from the Father but is from the world." (I John 2:16)
Whatever the void in your heart is, God can fill it. But it requires your faithfulness. Faithfulness to Him, faithfulness to the study of His Word, and faithfulness to your fiance.
May the Lord grant you the desire of your heart, and may you have a long, happy, and fruitful life. Amen.
2007-01-30 13:53:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling badly about your relationship with this "other man", then why do you continue to see him or talk to him? Why not just avoid temptation (i.e.: him) altogether?
I'm assuming that you are attracted to this other guy because either: (a) you are addicted to being the center of attention, and you are afraid that after you get married, the guys will not pay as much attention to you anymore; (b) he is new; (c) you are looking for an ego boost by proving to yourself that you can still attract anybody that you want; or, (d) deep down inside you don't really want to get married yet. Figure it out, and deal with the problem or else it would surface again in some other way with some other person.
You cannot help how you feel, but you can help how you react to it.
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What kind of "serious answer" are you looking for? You you really expect to be able to avoid temptation altogether? That is not possible. Even getting married will not get rid of all temptations. The Book of Hebrews says that Jesus himself was tempted. You already know what you need to do; several people have told you. you seem tosimply lack the strengh to do it.
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
~Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIV)
2007-01-30 13:47:47 · answer #2 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
(1Co 10:13)
"Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
(Mat 26:41)
Keep watching and praying for God says He will never leave you or forsake you.
This is probably a test to see how you can handle it. If you deal well with this now, then hopefully you will remember how you got through it and when it crops back up 10 years after your married then you can have the experience to handle it then.
2007-01-30 13:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something missing in your relationship with your fiance.
Stop. Think about that. What is missing exactly? If you can truthfully answer that, then you can address it.
Once you know what the problem is, talk to your fiance about it. Pray to God. Seek guidance from a relative or friend.
If the thing that is missing is important to you, then it is not going to go away just because you want it to. What if it festers in your heart for five years after you get married? Would it be better to figure it out now, before you commit to your man forever?
2007-01-30 13:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by saopaco 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Avoid the 'temptation' whenever possible.
Then, discuss this situation with a clergy member. Having a face to face conversation with someone who knows you, spiritually, is a good idea.
Another idea is to talk it over with hubby to be, if you think that he can talk it over with you, rather than get jealous.
But dig down deep, before doing any of this: Is your heart trying to tell you 'no', but your head wont listen? This is the most important thing to keep in mind.
2007-01-30 13:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by TiGeR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat yourself up for being tempted. Don't feel guilty about it. That is part of being human. And sexual desire is part of being human also. What's important is how you deal with your problems. I don't have answers for you, I think some people have already said some good things. I just want to tell you not to add to your problems by feeling guilty or bad about yourself for having human feelings. You will face things in life and have problems, temtations, and you might even do things you are not proud of. That's life, but you only make things worse by punishing yourself or getting down on yourself. You will face or solve your problems much better if you take the negative emotions out it. I think it is just as important not to judge yourself as it is not to judge other people. Good luck. PS sometimes it helps to think about what you would tell someone if they came to you for advice about the same problem. Imagine someone telling you their situation, and what you would say or think you would do about it.
2007-01-30 16:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stay away from that guy who is giving you temptation- STAY AWAY from him. If you truly love your fiancee, then you will commit to him alone. And with God in your life, you should know that a godly marriage is the best marriage- when God is the center of it, he will bring you through the problems you face. But you need to be certain you want to get married first. Because marriage is hard, I won't say it isnt. But with God, he truly can bless a marriage when it is done with Him centered in it and when your relationship glorfies Him.
2007-01-30 13:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by Mandolyn Monkey Munch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
9 times out of 10 it's crazy to get married at 20. I know the Christian thing to do is find your lifemandream at 16 and be together for ever and ever and ever. But in the real world, you might just have to give it some time.
2007-01-30 13:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First guy is right, but I'd like to add. I don't think a higher spiritual person is going to help you here. I mean, what do you want God to do, kill off all the handsome guys who want you? You gotta make a decision for yourself, maybe getting a different flavor of life and love is a good idea before you commit to one thing for what will hopefully be a good long time.
2007-01-30 13:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by Jonny G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sex does nothing for you. I think it makes you feel emptier. You need to really ask God for Guidence. Sounds like your not ready to marry this person. Your parents did it but that was long time ago. These days its not that easy to actually have a stable marriage. I would advice to really seek God, fast and pray deeply for it. God will answer. Surrender to him. jeremia 33:3
2007-01-30 14:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by Lil_Lulu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋