my situation is that i don't know how to talk to people my age and i feel that it had to do with my past. i was born differently then most and so i had faced some tremendous obsticles being born differently then others. i was teased and was always tryin to fit in with different crowds because i wanted to be accepted by others.
throughout my life it was very difficult to wake up and to know that this would never end. now i feel that i am in a better place then before and however there are some pieces of my past left in me. because i'm very cautious with people hurting my feelings and so forth i don't comunicate much with others and it has gotten to the point where i feel like i can't comunicate with family members and people in school. because i act this way, people get the wrong impression of me without thinkin that i might be a shy person so my question is how do i get over my low self esteem and show people who i'm really am ? i find it so hard to get out of this, how do i do it ?
2007-01-30 13:09:02 · 9 answers · asked by sosofresh 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Hang in there. You might see a therapist for some good coping ideas and someone to talk to.
2007-01-30 13:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by spiritualjourneyseeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One step at a time. Sounds like you're already making progress with your life.
If your having problems expressing how you feel like your in a rut with family and people in school, why not stop by the school counselor's office and tell them you'd like an appointment. You can show the counselor a copy of this email on Y!A for an icebreaker, if you have trouble expressing yourself.
You are insightful and are showing strong communication skills here. The counselor might have some reading material suggestions or social skills development suggestions. Learning to live a more empowered life is really what counseling is about. The counselor would have suggestions about community or school activities you could participate in, as well.
Shyness is actually fairly common. It's funny how many of us struggle with it without knowing that others are experiencing the same things as we are. Some people even "fake" shyness as a way of flirting. Maybe you've got a hidden "player" in there!
Just some practical advice:
1) Practice some 'self talk'. Make a list of at least 3 things positive and say them over and over again to yourself. Add at least one thing to the list each day. Keep a mental image of yourself exuding those qualities.
2) Know that it's good to take risk and remember that everyone makes mistakes. Don't sweat the small stuff. Nothing is worth beating yourself up over emotionally. Treat yourself the way you'd like to see someone else treated...with fairness, kindness and encouragement.
3) Practice seeming approachable, friendly and easy going. There are actually companies that have seminars for executives training them on how to do that. It really does work.
4) Find some volunteer activity through your school or community to participate in. Helping others or animals or the environment can be a very good way to step out of shell. Participating in a group activity or club is another way. Remember, there will be others there doing the same thing as you. Again, a school counselor may can help there too.
Step by step, just like you've already done, you'll make your way. In that way, we're all alike. One day you'll find, that you've actually grown by leaps and bounds and it will have all seemed almost effortless! Life's a journey...take your time. It's your life. Enjoy!
2007-01-30 22:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by ... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be the very same way. Basically, what I did, is I started going out, little by little. Wean yourself off of internet chat programs--they will only hurt your ability to socialize with 3-D people. When you go out, dont' sit yourself in some corner somewhere and be a wallflower--find a table right in the middle of the room. Start small talk with your waiter/waitress/whoever. Look over and make a joke with the person that sits next to you in class. Or simply start smiling at everybody you see. Smiling is a great way. Or you could get a job in retail. Oh, boy. Once you get a job in retail, you'll never be the same again lol!
2007-01-30 21:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by sanguinarianrepose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a hobby or something that you would like to learn?
Join an interest group and/or by attending classes. That way, you have a group of friends that you can start talking about your passion. It is much easier to talk about something that you like to do. You may even start off by asking questions. Most people like to share on what they know.
As for your past, I recommend that you use a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique to deal with it. It is worked wonders for me. The past has already happened - there is nothing that you can do to alter it. But what you can do is to take away your emotion when you recall it. The site is http://www.emofree.com
All the best!!
2007-01-30 21:17:46 · answer #4 · answered by mindalchemy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend therapy and/or a support group. Also, find things that make you feel good, things you are good at and learn more about that. You could use that to talk to others about. If you can find one person that you can trust and talk to, they may be able to help you come out of your shell.
And pray, God made everyone different, he made you and you are just as important as everyone else. Find a couple of verses in the Bible that make you feel good and say them everyday. Self-talk is a good thing.
2007-01-30 21:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by hazyseptember 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be more outgoing and reach out to others! i am example of one who needed some self-esteem! how? i lived on streets for many years due to drinking too much alcohol,and was basically spit on!! by society! i was dirty, homeless, and people did not want much to do with me! it took me some time, but after i got clean and sober, and made it a priority, i realized that my terrible experiences as a person could help others!! who are now in same situation i was 6 years ago! in my recovery, i worked wq ith other people with alcohol problems, and i developed better self-esteem by reaching out and trying to help other people! it really works! some counseling may be needed, but in time, you can turn yourself around, and go on ot become a valuable member of society who has a lot to offer! i am now sober 5 years and am going to become a counselor in drug and slcohol field, and will be a good one because of the low self-esteem i once had, but have turned it into something positive! it takes, time!! do not rush yourself! in time, you will find, as i did, that people accept you as you are, and your life, my friend, WILL GET BETTER! GOOD LUCK! IF YOU GET COUNSELING AND WORK WITH OTHERS YOU HAVE COMMON GROUND WITH, YOU WILL SUCCEED! dandidonna@yahoo.com says to drop me a line and let me know how you are doing with this!!
2007-01-30 21:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a support group with people who have a similar difficulties! it worked for me. Don't be too hard on yourself and keep a sense of humor about life!
2007-01-30 21:16:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of your good qualities.
2007-01-30 21:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by luvmyboy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about all the good things in your life and focus on them
2007-01-30 21:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋