When I am around a bunch of people, Im fine!! Im outgoing, and not shy at all.. But if im with someone one on one... or just 2 people, I like, get shy, and awkward.. why is this??.. how can I change it?
2007-01-30 12:58:00 · 16 answers · asked by Chris L 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think that's pretty common. If you have the right personality, which you apparently have, it's easy to be the 'class clown' around a bunch of people. You don't have to get really 'personal'.
It's only in the one on one situation that you feel awkward because you have to really be YOU, show your true self, be REAL. Lots of people have that problem. And, it IS because you're a little shy and you're really not as self-confident as you put on. Relax. Unless you're being completely phony in a group situation, then you're the same person. It's OK to be vulnerable. In fact, it's sweet to be a little vulnerable, especially around the girls, or guys, if you're gay, which I assume you're talking about. A romantic interest will usually really like to see the sweet, shy side of you and know that there's more to you than just the clown. It makes you complex and a little deep and that's VERY attractive. Any girl (or guy) that takes the time to get to know you and appreciate you will draw you out and it will get better. You'll get more confident as you face more of those situations. You're just young, I think. You'll gain more self-confidence as time goes on.
Polly
2007-01-30 13:53:18 · answer #1 · answered by Polly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just have to keep doing it, get the experience so that it gets easier and easier. If it's any consolation, the person (people) you are with most likely don't notice how awkward you feel. Really. Let them do the talking. Rather than feeling pressure to carry on a conversation, just think of questions to ask. Get the other people talking, and be a good listener. Follow up on comments they make. If you are getting together and you say, "How was work?" (or school or whatever) and they say "fine," don't stop it there! Keep going with it. Ask them, "what is it exactly you do at your job?" or "what classes are you taking?" Anything. Just keep it going. It gets easier and easier, believe me. But the only way it's going to get easier is if you keep doing it. You have to socially condition yourself to it until it becomes second nature.
2007-01-30 18:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being "socially retarded" you are being self conscious
about having to carry more of a one-on-one conversation. It is true that some people feel that they aren't good at keeping a
conversation interesting and it makes them seem shy when they
really aren't. If you are able to open up in a crowd then you aren't
shy, but the reason that you are able to feel confident is that the
pressure is off and you aren't the only other person doing the
talking. Try to relax and just let the conversation happen. Don't
try to force it.
2007-01-30 13:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reason is in a large group the focus isn't on you, and you don't feel pressured to keep the conversation going...so, you are more relaxed. When you are in a smaller crowed of lets say 1-3 other people, you may feel "obligated" to keep things interesting and the conversation "lively". This is a natural trigger within most of us, not only to keep things interesting but we want acceptance and to be noticed as an intelligent person...there's the pressure you feel. There is a word for what happens to you: Anxiety.
2007-01-30 13:47:15 · answer #4 · answered by advisor67 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
supply up being shy and so superb to human beings, act such as you do not care approximately them, all you care is approximately you. coach which you're solid and no it is user-friendly to ever inform you what to do. And by way of the way, most of the individuals you spot guffawing around and having a stable time have the comparable problems which you have, it is existence and there is not something you're able to do approximately it. purely attempt to be a splash extra selfish enormously to human beings you do not understand, do not care approximately them they gained't do you any stable enable them to shelter themselves.
2016-12-13 04:56:00 · answer #5 · answered by killeen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, to one poster who said something back there that has made me laugh incredibly hard.
Ok, so yah you can't talk to others in a group- sometimes I feel this way, but not because I can't talk, but because I feel just plain exhausted from talking. It reminds me of the line in Bottlerocket when Anthony says "Not only did I not want to answer that question, but I didn't want to answer another question ever again"
-Is that how you feel? Or do you want to talk but just can't find the words to express what you want to say? Read more books- maybe that will help with speaking better....All I know is reading books really boosts your vocabulary.
2007-01-30 13:07:37 · answer #6 · answered by Mandolyn Monkey Munch 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am the same id unno i fel like theres more attention on me.what ive started doing is just not giving a s**t what ppl think if i get thaughts of awkwardness i just think of leprachauns or summat really stupid.it helps coz it takes my mind off my feelings
2007-01-30 13:05:25 · answer #7 · answered by Heather H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not socially retarded. You're within reason to be that way. Probably from past experiences. I don't know if you've been raped in the past or not. But It's better to be around many people so bad stuff won't happen, such as rape, robbery, etc.
2007-01-30 13:21:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are clearly extroverted, but perhaps this comes from insecurity. One on one interaction takes honesty and trust. Just be yourself, however cliche that sounds, because it is true.
2007-01-30 13:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by Joe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow .. im the exact opposite .. just let them give u ideas on how the conversation should go ... listen to what they want to talk about ...
2007-01-30 13:03:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋