no motivation..?

Question

i feel like i'm literally dragging myself through each day, constantly wondering how much longer it will be before i get too heavy and i just fall.
my best friend in the whole world just killed herself.
and my grandpas in hospice.

those are just two of the newest things in my life.

i just don't know what to do anymore.

Answer 1

You sound like you have had some really horrible things going on in your life. You will feel better one day, and I do not know when this will be, but please trust me on this. Meanwhile, look after yourself very well. Don't over do work, try to find sympathetic People to be with, play favourite music, and eat well. Keep yourself safe, and you will be in my prayers.

Answer 2

I went htrough a long phase like this. It just seemed like from every angle there was another problem, another stress, another loss, another commitment that I didn't want.

When life is like that then your life is out of balance. You need to do things for you that make you feel good. If that is absent right now, then that is where you should target your remaining reserves of energy.

I noticed that exercise was mentioned - excellent advice this. Go running. 10km should be your goal. Do that twice aweek and you'll feel a lot better in short order.

Then you'll have to work through these issues in turn. Looking at it all together can be overwhelming, so don't. Take it one step at a time. What is the one thing that you could really do without, what is the thing that gets to you the most - tackle this first. If you can't, move to the next. Each one that gets addressed is one less monkey on your back.

Whatever you do don't get down on yourself. You are a unique, incredible, valuable human being and you do deserve better. It might take time, but things will improve. How long that takes can be down to many factors, but those that are in your control you can do something about, so act. Don't fall into apathy, be as proactive and positive as you are able.

Head up, smile, take care of yourself and your appearance.

Good luck.

LT

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Are you close to anyone-your mum/dad? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Two of my my friends are dying of cancer. In one the cancer is spreading very rapidly. I have several other friends I can talk to fortunately. I think if you feel you are depressed your doctor will be of help. He can arrange for counselling or perhaps offer you anti-depressants temporarily. They do work because I am taking some called Zispin at present which are very good. No side effects other than lower sex drive which at my age doesn't really matter anyway :-)
If you go to church then maybe a word with your local vicar/priest. Even if you aren't a churchgoer they will still give you a helping hand. Samaritans also man the telephones if you urgently need to talk. They generally have had experience of their own grief problems so will be very empathetic if that is the expression. I do hope you feel better. Do you have a belief in God? Please try a prayer even if you don't believe because you are His daughter and He loves you. You will be ok. Take care and may God bless you.

Answer 4

Darling I am sorry to hear of you problems but you can't keep carrying all the baggage with you or it will pull you down too.
There is lots of research in to the positive effects of excersize on mood etc. Make some time for you, go to a spa have a hard swimm followed by a nice sauna or a chill in a jacuzzi. You will then be in a much better frame of mind to cope with what life keeps throwing at you.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, it is a sign of strength not weakness, maybe your GP or homeopath.
If it makes you feel better most people do not know what they are doing they just bumble through life pretending they do and hoping they do not **** anything up too badly!
Take care all the best xx

Answer 5

It sounds like you've had a heavy emotional time of it. Talking about these issues will be helping you get through the rough times but i just hope someones listening. Have you spoken to anyone else about these feelings (anyone not on the computer?) I get the feeling that it's not just the death of your friend and your Granada's ill health that are making you feel this way. I have never lost my best friend in the whole world but i have suffered the 'waiting game' of an elderly relative living in a hospic and it a terrible place to be, emotionally. I have no answers but i am willing to read other posts you may leave and i will always try to be supportive.

Answer 6

You keep going. You don't have to have the answers. The family motto of one of the polar explorers was "By enduring, we conquer." Living life is such a personal decision - we all get tested in different ways, but it is so hard to convince someone else to want to live... I have made that decision after giving up alcohol over twenty years ago, but everyone is not so fortunate. You have been dealt two very heavy blows just now, so being upset and depressed is perfectly natural, except it will keep you stuck in it, so you have to try to remember to surround yourself with positive people who can help lift you up just enough to keep going forward and come out the other side of it all. Yes, some people just throw up their arms and quit. They retreat within themselves, and that is their choice, but I am hoping you will give some serious thought to not doing that, and just staying steady instead and trying to find something really positive you can latch on to and just keep going, a little bit each day is all that is required. I will be praying for you to begin forward motion in your life and I will send you lots of good energy, too. Sent to you with strong affirmations from Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old and have had some down times in my life, but I have always stopped everything and gotten quiet and asked myself if I wanted to just quit and the answer has always been no. I hope you are like this, as well!)

Answer 7

I feel you need to accept that you are going through the very normal process of grieving, both for your best friend and in anticipation of the loss of your grandpa, which understandably excerbates the feelings. I'm sure you feel as if your life is coming to an end, but this is a natural, recognised process and you will come through it in the end. Most people are able to work through this with the support and love of family, however, occassionally we can become 'stuck' at a particular point in the grief, and at these times, talking with a counsellor may help. Although Grief is a normal fuction of living, please don't suffer alone; find someone to talk to about it- someone who will feel comfortable allowing you to express how you feel. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

Look at the little things that differ in your life from day to day,each morning when you wake do something different open the curtains fast stick your head out of the window take a deep breath..It's time you started do things that make you like yourself again...Think back to fun times you've had instead of bad...You have to alter the way your mind is working...Be thankful you are still alive and you can grace others with your presence...I'm so sorry about your loss and sorrow those times are not pleasant but they do ease....One last bit of advice punch the frustrations and anger you're feeling out on a pillow scream really loudly and release all the pent up energy inside you

Answer 9

im sorry to hear about everything you are going through it must be so hard for you right now,life can be so hard at times but please try and be strong,i know that may be really hard to do right now.have you many friends because that is something that you really need around you at this time and maybe it would be good to go and see your doctor or get some councelling if you feel you could manage that,please try get some help dont be alone ok, time does heal but does take time,will be thinking and praying for you and wish you all the best for the future ,claire

Answer 10

trust in life...even though it doesn't seem fair at times..i've really been through the mill myself and it was like once one bad thing hapenned then another even worse thing was waiting round the corner! sometimes its like that but you have to hold on. I just kept thinking that my luck would soon change and in the end it did.It always does. This sounds like you may be suffering from depresion(or some form of it) so the first stop is your doctor then get someone to talk to about things.Help is available but sometimes you have to shout for it!..I wish you well and remember that all storms pass eventually!