will you take on your husband's surname after marriage?

Question

i cannot take on my husband's surname.because my religion does not permit it.and i also believe it demeaning to women.

my religion is islam

Answer 1

I agree. It does demean women :( Why can't men change to our last name? My boyfriend is Polish and his name is like Wozckelerynzski. Spare me!!!!!

Answer 2

I don't know - But there have been many changes to our society For instance my Grandmother could not vote somthing the politicans like to bury Marriage came into the church door in Europe about the 12 century up until then it was a private legal agreement between two perons after the church got involved it became a very regulated money making venture for the theocracy we all lived in - another truth we all like to bury The northern celts had a hand fasting ceremony that was abolished on pain of death - the celts had many gods a lot of them female - the old religon before jesus - was brought by the sword to our lands by the Romans - were far more fair to women The societal structures of christia Rome were different - For instance the "great General Boutica" was a female - it was thought that she was invincible and she walked through the land of the Picts - a section of extremely dangerous Scots collecting men and women to fight for her against the Romans Look up Queen of the Valkeries (Freyja/Freya ) She lost - the Romans killed her and raped her daughters - the celts at the time very primitive were devestated by her defeat and morale fell The society that held witches (women who knew how to use plants to heal and kill ) in high reguard went underground The concepts of equality would stay underground for centuries as a result but the idea's of a matriachy persisted in some small fashions - Queen Anne, Queen Mary of Scots, Queen Elizabeth the 1st and Queen Victoria did not have an easy time in life but they were accepted as the absolute (or Constitutional ) rulers of the land followed into batle and so on - That would not have been accepted in many places in Europe or elsewhere Witches killed - mid wives outlawed (put knowledge backwards 200 yrs) and so forth The ceremony of marriage cobbled together from several pagan cultures and christianized the world went backwards In the early 1900's when my Grandmother was born - she could not vote - nor own property - Now the old is new again so to speak - The origin of a man's last name is to a large degree his fathers trade Smith - Blacksmith goldsmith etc A smith is a person who works with metals -Stewart - one who carries and fetches. Hodges - One who makes a Hod Other last names indicate only the father - no trade or profession - for instance Hodgeson - son of a Hod maker Why women take the surname of the male---- no idea

Answer 3

Yes I did take my husbands last name..I didn't find it demeaning at all.... Just out of curiosity what is your religion? In order to become one in the eyes of god I would think that you should change your last name...
Just in case your saying why cant he. I would have to bring up the headship in the bible
1 Cor.11:3 "I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."

I wish you both a long and happy marriage...

Answer 4

I'm a woman engaged to a woman. Neither of us will take the other's name. I agree that the whole concept of taking a partner's name is demeaning.

It stems from the doctrine of femme couvre (I may be spelling this wrong) - the idea that a married woman is no longer her own person, but an extension of the husband.

In response to an earlier poster, men can change their names to match their wives, but it requires a more complicated and generally more expensive process that the other way around. The ACLU is currently fighting a case through the courts to equalize the system of spousal name change.

Answer 5

Well, certainly if your religion forbids it, thats your choice, of course. However, I do not see it as demeaning - I had sons, and want them to have their fathers name. And, in doing that, I want my name to be the same as the rest of my family.
Jesus Christ is real serious about your heredity. Its important, and so is the family in Christian teachings. Believe me, sooner or later here in the USA somebody will get around to calling it demeaning, and their special new word everybody gets to yell:
Offended! Oh I'm offended! He offended me! They offended me!~
We have indeed become the United States of the Offended.
It's bad enough, esspecially with the news this particular week, so please, please don't put any more thoughts into peoples heads. Please!!!

Answer 6

My wife hyphenated hers because she had several academic papers published and wanted them to turn in searches. She isn't doing science anymore and wishes that she had not.

It is a pain because the computers don't like long names. You end up with issues with insurance and such if you have different last names and one spouse is earning the policy.

Answer 7

No I can't. I practice Islam and would like to take on my husband's last name but can't. The reason I wish I could take my husband's name is because my dad's a schizophrenic who beat my mom and my dad's family is full of mentally diseased psychos.

Answer 8

No, I really like my own name and don't see why I should have to change it when and if I get married.

P.S. I had no idea that in Islam the woman didn't change her last name!

Answer 9

I am a Muslim too.. and I am not bound. Showing respect and love to my husband... there are several ways.
Its something all females follow, under the covers of their loyalities for their Husbands..

Answer 10

RIGHT ON! I feel the same....anyways what religion are you? Curious..I dont want to take on any man's surname I want to stay with my own. Glad to see someone else feels the same!