Marrying in the Catholic church?

Question

One of my best friends is getting married but have so many problems. She wants to do it in the Catholic church (he's Catholic, she's too but haven't been to the Church in years) but a lot of stuff happened in the past.

She was married before in a quickie ceremony and was forced to have an abortion a couple of weeks after the wedding (she was pregnant and felt obligated to marry the guy). After the abortion, she left him and got a divorce. Then she met her current fiancee and she's never been this happier.

She's already free to get married but with the recent death of her ex-husband, will she be allowed to get married in the Church? Like I said, she was baptized but never had communion or conformation (her parents converted to become Methodists but she never converted). Since I'm not a Catholic, it's hard to help her, so I'm asking everyone for their help.

She's also trying to get into the Catholic faith but is feeling discouraged by the situation.

To the 2nd poster, her ex-husband forced himself on her (she was a virgin) and found out she was pregnant shortly after the wedding. They never consumated the marriage because she never told her parents about it and was hiding it from them, so she never lived with him.

As for the abortion, she never wanted to do it. It was her ex who made her do it. And remember, her ex died even though they divorced 5 years earlier.

Answer 1

Your friend has to deal with several issues before she can be married in the Catholic church, namely:
+ The abortion. Her involvement, however limited, in the murder of an innocent human being needs to be discussed with a priest.
+ Her first marriage will have to be declared null (some call this an annulment). From what you tell about the marriage, this should not be a big deal.
+ Confirmation and Holy Communion. She will have to study and receive these sacraments of initiation to get married un the Church.

In addition to enabling her to marry in the Church, resolving all of these issues will also help her heal spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally and strengthen her relationship with God.

With love and prayers in Christ.

Answer 2

Your friend needs to go to her Church and set up classes to resume her Faith, she'll then receive the Sacraments as her studies continue. Since she divorced her first husband she is considered divorced (not widowed) because she wasn't married to him when he passed away. As for the abortion, that is something she will confess when she goes through her teachings. I would also like to ad that you said "he made her get one" well I don't see how anyone can force anybody to do that....it was her body, her choice. Her Parish Priest will help her with all issues. The Church has gotten more lenient over the years thereby allowing her as a "Divorcee" to get married in the Church, I know this from a Family member who went through the same thing, they had their Ceremony at the Church where they did their lessons. Good Luck to Her and Bless You for being such a concerned Friend.

Answer 3

This is a pretty easy answer, and the answer is no!
There are standards that you have to meet to be married in the Catholic Church, and they are...

1. At least one you must be a baptized Roman Catholic.
(they are)

2. You must be at least 18 years of age.
(I suspect they are)

3. You must be free to marry.
(here is where it's catching her) Free to marry is described as never previously been married either in the Church or in a civil ceremony.

4. You must be prepared to follow the laws of the CHurch
5. You must complete an approved Marriage Perparation Course
6. You must submit a letter of permission from your pastor if the church you wish to marry in, is not your proper parish.

The last three were just to finish off the regulations. She is not free to marry. In the Catholic Church, divorce is still looked upon as something that shouldn't be done. So they do not marry people whove been previously married. The abortion would be a personal issue for your friend. The church would not ask, nor would she hand over the information I assume. But yeah, not a go.

The priest who will be marrying my fiance and I asked us all those questions, what's she going to do? Lie? to the priest? lol.... Also, doing so in the church, even if she finds some way around it somehow, her marriage could be deemed invaild as well at some point.

Answer 4

Well im a catholic and she shouldnt have any problems getting married through the church. i really dont know what kind of problems shes having but if she got married through church with her ex she cn still get marrid through church beacause he passed away. it would be different if he were still alive. usually she can do the first communion that same day of marriage as for the confirmation its also the same. My fiancee hasnt done his confirmation and we dont have any problems. the abortion should have nothing to do with the church wedding. But tell her Good Luck and i hope it turns out great for her.

Answer 5

It will entirely depend on the priest who marries them. Some will not marry people who have gone through a divorce, case closed. Others will. She really just needs to discuss it with the priests in your area.

The fact that the first husband has passed might make it much easier for a priest to say OK, but still, she has to discuss with them. It's their decision.

It might also help her case if she gets the first marriage annulled. The priest can advise how to do that.

Answer 6

The only person who can answer this question is the actual priest that they want to marry them. Sounds to me like they should be able to get married in the church since her ex-husband died. However, she will probably have to continue her religious education, make her first communion and get confirmed first. I'm sure that the church will work with her, although I see no reason for her to mention the abortion to them, it's not their business.

Answer 7

She shouldn't be allowed to. She had an abortion, and had a divorce. If she had never consumated the marriage or other grounds for an annulment were there, she could have gotten an annulment.

Divorce is not recognized by the Church. She will probably find a way to get married in the Church, but it isn't valid.

Answer 8

Best talk to the local priest about this. If she is Catholic she will have to attend mass and should make a confession. The death of her husband would allow her to remarry with the church's consent

Answer 9

if her past marriage was not in the church, she should feel free to marry in the church this time (after all you can only marry in the church once.)

her past shouldn't be that much of an influence, however if her exhusband died 5 years after their divorce (again if that marriage was not in a church) she has no debt with him.

she should be able to restart her life without any problems as God does not abandon his children. all she has to do is talk to a priest of the church, get the remaining sacraments taken care of and attend mass.

congrats to her and....no problem.

Answer 10

Yea, she can do it. The Catholic church really isn't as strict as other churches when it comes to marrying and her ex-husband is dead, besides he was abusive and therefore divorce was morally justified. And about the abortion, she doesn't need to tell anyone! It's no one's business, but her own. Infact, I suggest that she doesn't tell anyone because no one can actually force anyone into having an abortion and that excuse makes her sound like sort of a joke and makes me doubt the rape as well.