Who typically hosts the bridal shower?

Question

So my soon to be mother-in-law and sister-in-law offered to host my bridal shower. When my mom got wind of this her feeling were totally hurt because she wanted to host my shower, however, she really isn't in the financial position to do so. I told her that I am going to have my MIL and SIL host the shower and that my mom can have a brunch the day after the shower (thought that would be a lot less expensive). Am I being insensitive?

FYI... I am only having 3 bridesmaids, and 2 of them are not in very good financial positions.

I would love my mom to be a third host, but she tends to take over things and I don't want to stir up issues between her and my MIL. Great suggestions though, THANKS!

I meant to say a brunch the day after the wedding....not shower.ooops

Answer 1

Typically your bridesmaids host your shower. Members of your family or the groom's per etiquette standards should not host your shower, as it's considered rude for the family of the couple to request gifts.

Tell your mom that you want her to be able to just have a good time & bask in the excitement of an engaged daughter. Best wishes to you!

Answer 2

Who Hosts The Bridal Shower

Answer 3

These days, it's increasingly practical for moms, sisters, or other relatives to throw bridal showers. More brides and grooms are living in cities other than the one where they grew up, and their attendants may be in still another city. If they're having the wedding in their hometown but none of the attendants live there, it's unrealistic to expect a maid of honor in Seattle to plan a shower in Chicago without any help from the locals. So it's often Mom or Sis who can really coordinate the shower plans. Faraway bridesmaids and honor attendants are definitely pitching in but more and more, Mom is becoming party central and there's no faux pas in that. (In fact, showers thrown by relatives are pretty much the norm in some regions of the country.) And when it comes right down to it, the shower is about gifts, no matter who throws it.

It sounds like your mom just wants to be a part of your very special day. That makes sense - she loves you and wants you to be happy! Since you mention that she is not financially able to host another shower and you would prefer that she not contribute to the shower your MIL and SIL are throwing - think of ways that you can make her feel important and valued.

- Have a special place of honor for her to sit during the shower, preferably next to you. Maybe the MIL and SIL can reliquish some responsibility during the shower - like writing down the gifts as you open them - for your mom to do.

- Spend the morning before the shower (or evening after) with your mom for some one-on-one time

-At the shower, give a small speech to thank your MIL and SIL for hosting a lovely shower - take a second at the end to thank your mom for being supportive and helpful during the stressful planning time (and throughout your entire life)

I hope this helps. Congratulations on your engagement. Enjoy this time - it flies by!

Answer 4

These days, I think anything goes. When my brother got married, my mom hosted a bridal shower for her soon to be daughter-in-law. It was nice for my s-i-l, because it gave her a chance to be with several of her friends and meet some of our extended family a little better. A few days before the wedding however, her mom hosted a bridal shower/brunch so that those that live far away (most of her extended family, and a few of her new extended family) and were unable to attend the first one could attend.

Bridal showers can be as simple or extravagant as the person hosting cares to make it. In my opinion though, the best part is getting together with the other females in your life and sharing some laughs, maybe a few tears, but just enjoying each other!

Answer 5

Who Throws The Bridal Shower

Answer 6

According to etiquette the Maid of Honor or Bridesmaids should be giving you a shower. Neither your MIL or SIL should host a shower for you. Neither should your mother. All said, you have "special considerations" the bridesmaids or your mother really can't give you a shower because of financial matters. So, I don't see the harm of your MIL and SIL hosting the shower for you and your mom hosting a brunch afterward. (the next day) That is not being insensitive of others, that is being very sensitive of everyone.

Answer 7

No, I don't think you're being insensitive at all. In fact, I'm touched by your thoughtfulness in knowing that your mom is not really in a financial position to host a shower. A think a brunch will still allow her to participate without being overly financially burdened. Also if MIL and SIL already are willing and have generously offered, you not pre selecting them over your mom. If your mom is feeling a bit hurt...smooth her over with some kind words about how much the brunch she's hosting means to you...some well spoken words can go along way.

Answer 8

Typically, the maid of honor hosts the bridal shower, unless she is a member of the bride's immediate family. (Many etiquette guides frown on a family member hosting, because it looks like she's trying to get gifts for the bride.

Often the mother of the bride and/or the bride's sister will still be involved, just not technically be the host. Others realize that in this modern world, a relative is sometimes the only appropriate host.)

For an informal, or casual shower, the maid of honor or host picks up all the costs. For a more elaborate shower, she may talk to the other bridesmaids and get them to agree on chipping in or splitting costs at the beginning of the planning process. And of course she can, and should, ask the other bridesmaids to help with set up, planning, decorating, etc.

Answer 9

Traditionally, the MAID OF HONOR is expected to host the bridal shower, including paying for all of the costs associated with this. This is why it's such an important decision to make. These days, however, all of the bridesmaids usually chip in together to throw the bridal party. If they were not in any financial position to handle this burden, they should not have agreed to be your bridesmaids.

Generally, you're not supposed to have your mother or other relative host the party because you don't want it to look like you're just trying to get gifts. So it would not have been appropriate for your mom to host it anyway.

How about reaching a compromise? Why don't you have your MIL and SIL host it at your mother's house? That way your mother can still play a big role, but not bear so much of the expense.

Answer 10

When I got married I had a few showers, I had one with my mothers side of the family, fathers side, husbands side, and I did a friends one, and my church threw me one. Typically bridal showers aren't supposed to be anything huge. I usually like to do brunch, just has whoever is hosting the shower make some food or you can have everyone bring something. Nothing big if you were planning on doing something big then just have a friend throw the party and you can have your mom and mtoher-in-law and sister-in-law all help out! Good luck :) And no your not being insensitive at all! All the planning I understand is very stressful, but just try to take it easy hun! Good luck!

Answer 11

Typicllly, the Maid of Honor hosts the shower, with the bridesmaids, but in common practice, now, any one can host the shower. I think that the idea of a brunch the following day is a great idea. It'll be something that you and your mom will have to remember. It's not a big deal who hosts the shower, as long as everyone has fun and it is memorable. And if your mom can't do a brunch, maybe she can be the one to take you out on the big day to get your hair, nails and make up done. Just go out and do something together and have a good time.