I need some advice:?

Question

I'm 26, and my 15 year old cousin just informed me that she's thinking about committing suicide. She and her mom are constantly fighting and her mother constantly sides with her husband. She informed me that she's considering suicide and she asked me to come live with me for a while. She's my favorite baby cousin and I would love to have her stay with me, especially since my house is closer to her school. She's a really good kid, and she confided in me that her step dad hit her a few times, and she's frustrated because her mom doesn't believe her. Now my ? is, what do I say to her mom? Do I just ask her if she would allow her to stay with me for the remainder of the school year? I'd appreciate any advice.

Answer 1

That's a tough situation. It's good that you're at least family though. Maybe if you can invite your cousins mother over for lunch, without step dad or child to escalate things. However, how you bring it up depends on how close you and her mother are. I think that if you tell your cousins mother about the accusations of her step dad hitting her that would just complicate things even more and should only be brought up as a last resort. You might want to say "your daughter said that she's having a hard time getting along with you husband" or something along those lines. You want to make sure that whatever you say you try to stay neutral or maybe even just a little on the mothers side so that she doesn't just tell you something like "mind your own business". Cause if that happens you won't be able to talk to her at all. Maybe you might say something along the lines of "if you want she can come stay here for a while so you can have a break from dealing with all that". Like you are trying to make it easier on the mother. Hopefully something like that will work but if it doesn't, your cousin can try talking to her councilors because I know that they will take her accusations serious and can get CPS involved if needed. She might not go to you but at least she'll get away from that house for a little while.

Answer 2

thats a difficult one....

yes speak to the mother, but do it very sympathetically, you dont know how much of this is a teenager being, well, a teenager!! her mum may well know the issues and maybe the girl really does act up... dont know.. but speaking to the mother should help to clarify things, maybe suggest that she stays with you for a few days a month or something to start off with so that they all get a break if things are really at breaking point at home then maybe this will help cool the constant stress and give them all a break.

if she has confided that she contemplates suicide it is unlikely that she will go through with it, suicidal people rarely confide that they are going to do it, it is a reach out for help.

speak to the cousin again too, get her full side of the story, then the mother, then if possible, speak to them both together, maybe they could use anutral person to be the mediator?

very difficult when families are concerned, be carefull not to be seen as interfering, calling the mother a bad mother etc, as this could just make things ten times worse.

if you are on good terms with the mother, then hopefully bringing it out in the open and talkng about it to find resolves that work for everyone wont be too hard..


good luck

Answer 3

report to police i don't care if her mother don't believe her or anyone you only person that believe her and you can have her in your home since near the school and need to report asap... and if she show you badly abusied take picture and reprot to the police that Domtic V. and I would do the same thing with my cousin if they ever gone though.. I been though just like your little cousin and get out there and have her move in with you and let your mom know what going on and wanted her to live with you and want to make her life better than having this plm....

No step father should beat 15 or any age not even your own kid. If you can't treat them then should not be around. and I would tell her to have your cousin live with you and not to worry about money and you will take care everything and if she agree have her wite the paper and agree so next time the mother sue you you have the witness and all that.

Answer 4

Okay are you ready for a best answer cause here it comes,
Defenetly don't tell her that her daughter is thinking of commiting suicide because then she would probably punish her. Just as your cousin if she would prefer staying with you and away from her mother's drama. Always believe people when they are talking to you about suicide because most of the time it is their last resort and they are telling you because they love you and fell like their is no way out. The mom probably won't believe you or the daughter if you tell her about the abusive boyfriend because it is a FACT that kids are mostly abused by their mom's boyfriends. Its sad, but i hope everything goes well with your cousin and you should definetly open up to her with open arms even if the mom says no about staying at your home because she needs help and is going through a hard time.
god bless<3

Answer 5

Does her step dad leave any scars on her? If so then you should report to the police,even if the mother doesn't approve. You can ask the mother if your cousin may stay with you for the remainder of the school year. I think that's best. Of course tell her in a calm voice. You can also tell her that it's best because you live closer to her school.

Answer 6

Well tell her Mom that you want to help out with raising your cousin and she can live with you because you live closer to school and that way you won't be alone all the time. Maybe she will let her. But if the Mom doesn't believe the daughter, well your cousin needs to move in with you soon before it's too late. And next time he hits her tell her to go to your house and see if it bruised and take a picture of ti to show to the MOM. And tell her if you don't want me to get involved let her stay with me.

Answer 7

Nope.

If she told you she is contemplating suicide, you need to get her to see a medical professional ASAP.

I know you think you can do better, but I honestly don't think you are equipped to handle someone who has suicidal tendencies.

Second, you don't have a legal leg to stand on trying to save your "favorite cousin" from awful parents. Isn't it even conceivable that the parents could accuse you of kidnapping -- especially since the 15 year is a minor in the eyes of the law.

You forget -- you have a CRAZY mother and father to contend with.

The best you can do is to get that child to a hospital and they can record the abuse and perhaps try to get a report filed against the parents through Department of Family and Children Services.

Taking the cousin in your house is a recipe for disaster.

The road to hell is paved with plenty of good intentions.

Answer 8

wow, what a tough one. if you're going to get involved with someone's family. i would recommend you to talk to your aunt on what does she think about you taking her in for awhile. There's no need to tell her that her daughter is suicidal because she'll feel like she's to blame. but kind of tell her that your cousin is going through a lot and she cannot concentrate in school because she has personal issues that she cannot cope with. it's something you cannot explain at the time, but tell her you love your cousin and you don't mind helping her out. if your aunt trust you enough with her daughter, she will allow it.
plus, kids don't realize how much they miss their parents until they're not living with them. and your aunt will miss her daughter more, so when they see each other, maybe they'll talk and listen rather than argue. i was once suicidal when i was a teen. but then i realize that you're only the cause to ruin your loved ones life if you take your own. if there's a problem, there's always a solution. plus, you don't gain anything when you die, besides entering yourself to a free trip to hell. to keep her mind off of things, tell her to start a hobby, dance class, exercise, after school programs. i'm not sure if i'm much help...good luck, best wishes.

Answer 9

Staying with you will not solve the problem. The problem is the Step Dad is abusive. Contact the mother first. Let her know that you are aware of the child abuse alligations against her new husband. Do your best to pursuade the mother to get the daughter and step father into counceling. This is probably not going to happen. Child abusers need a slap of reality before they get help, so let her mother know that if she (the daughter) does not report the incodent that you will.

Most of the time alcohal is the reason for abusive step parents. There is help for them... but they must seek the help of others.

Answer 10

damn this is a tuff situation but believe it or not, there are others that go through the same thing..well in your situation i would get your cousin to go see a therapist or some type of psychologist, im not saying she is cazy but maybe she needs someone to talk to. Second of all i would think about talking to her mom or talking to your mom so that someone can help ypu. do not take it all by yourself, i know it might be frustrated to you since you know that if you do not do the right thing your cousin might eventually commit suicide. Really talk to her mom and ask her to think about her daughter, get her to be in her situation, ask her if her husband is more important than her daughter and if she says yes then maybe you can do something legally in this case.