how do I talk about family anger problems with a disfunctional pack of raging cave dwellers without world war three kicking off, today I tried to talk in a civil manner to my mother about some of the things on my mind only to find myself on the recieving end of a hate fuelled barage of chav style verbal abuse and blood vessel bursting venom. can you suggest a way to get my family to talk without the knife drawer being opened and get a healthy family discussion going without the police riot squad going on stand bye?
please, thank you.
2007-01-30 11:17:06 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Throw her a 'Bonio' first.!
2007-01-30 11:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well that was very poetic,despite the unfortunate state of affairs. Anger reflects pain so,if you do get a chance, perhaps ask your mum if she is going through some deeper pain? Everyone responds in a more civil way when someone takes an interest in how they are feeling or managing with things. Also,try to get a one to one going in a place away from the domestic arena. Somewhere tranquil and where there is peace and colour. Even a local park for a walk together is good enough. You should then find that the same concern will eventually be shown to you by your mum realising that someone caring enough to ask her,might be in the same amount of turmoil. That will give her chance to show you some attention which of course is natural for any mother. She may well be suffering all sorts of pressure, and not getting a glimpse of a chance to express any of it? Good Luck then !
2007-01-30 11:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is indeed a serious question, which I think it is, you have absolutely no chance of mending your parentage unless they offer themselves up for lobotomies or the like. My honest advice is to accept their shortcomings and move on with your own anger management situation ..... it could well stem from the family situation and being away from their style of thinking will immediately help. Then you seek professional help ..... or at least give yourself quiet time and space to think it through. Quiet contemplation is excellent to put your own problem into perspective ..... your errant family seem to fuel the very source of your anger. You have one thing on your side ... an understanding that you have a big problem .... just move away from the source and get to grips with it ..... you can win this over and you will .... just wanting to is the first step.
2007-01-30 11:28:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2015-01-28 12:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! sounds like my life growing up. I moved out and she still kept it up. Finally I didn't speak to my mother for 3 years. She was fine with my kids but she could never be human towards me. After years of dealing with crap, I finally let her have it. I left and wouldn't return her calls. I never called her so that I wouldn't have to hear the crap she was dishing out. Just 2 months ago I finally conversed with her for the first time since I moved out. It was civil and there was no yelling. It took an extended absence to make her realize that her method of torture had wore me out and I took the only means I had available. Hopefully you can take her to a "dr's appt" (counselor)with you and bring up all of the hurtful things between you with an intermediary present. I hope you find a solution less drastic than mine. What I do regret is the time I lost trying to figure out how to approach her. I just got tired of 25 years of abusive irrationality. Take care and good luck.
2007-01-30 11:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by MariClaude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try positive I messages.. Say "mom, dad, I know things around here are difficult. I know I have had some to do with the problems around here. I also know my anger don't help around here. What can I do to help fix this? Try something like that might work or try counseling.
2007-01-30 11:30:46 · answer #6 · answered by Rain32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We could be related!
I didn't speak to my mother for 3 years but we have now resolved stuff cos I am pregnant now.
I tried to resolve it but she didn't want to know. The best thing I did was have counselling for myself so I could see I wasn't a bad person and learnt to love myself. You should do that. Don't blame yourself whatever you do!
Good luck
2007-01-30 23:45:33 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tried to to get my family to behave normally for 20 years - caused me years of therapy.
I am as happy as they come now - i created my own with friends and acquaintances who truly love and care for me.
My mother - i love her from a distance - at first it made me sad - but life is short and i refused to allow her to make me a miserable as she was. I was always angry or depressed dealing with those nut cases.
I left them a lone and a beautiful person emerged from within.
try it for awhile - kick them out of your world and remove them from your space.
2007-01-30 11:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by Jazz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. maybe you guys should try anger management or some type of family therapy..or try getting someone to be the median..
2007-01-30 11:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by ƒ®îgg Üþ ©hî¢ ®™ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try Family mediation? Dont know if you would get them to agree to going though.
2007-01-30 11:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will not sort out your problems with someone like that, if i were you i would close the door behind you and run as fast as you can....who needs that....they are never going to listen to you, so don't waste your time trying
2007-01-30 11:22:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋