ok-so-my-school-is-having-a-show-on-our-news-station-and-its-called-amarican-joksters-(remake-of-amarican-idol)and-i-need-a-joke-to-use-to-try-out.-and-one-have-a-good-joke?-please-im-despret-and-we-have-to-do-it.
2007-01-30 10:21:35 · 16 answers · asked by elbballplaya 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
any-one-have-a-joke?
2007-01-30 10:26:39 · update #1
i-mean-a-joke-to-tell-not-do!
2007-01-30 10:54:04 · update #2
a-joke-ok-for-middel-school!
2007-01-30 12:51:03 · update #3
Are u aware that Yahoo considers ur question 'point gaming'?
2007-01-30 10:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A southern fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****....
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
2007-01-30 19:36:55 · answer #2 · answered by SARAH♫☼ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a **** load of fun ok a joke would be: Once upon a time there was a magical frog and he lived in this huge forest. As he was walking to the pond he saw a bear chasing after a rabbit. The frog interupted then and told them to stop! but since, they were the first animals he had seen in a long time he said that he would grant them both 3 wishes. the bear said that he wanted the all the bears to be female (besides him of course). The rabbit wished that he had a helmet the frog granted his wish and the rabbit put on the helmet. The bear looked puzzle and didn't understand his wish. Then the 2nd thing that the bear asked was that the forest clossest to this one (the one they were on) to be all female bears. The rabbit wished for a motorcycle. The bear asked in his head y did the rabbit ask for a motorcycle when he could have asked for money and bought one? The finally wish that ht ebear asked was that he wanted all the bears beside him to be female! for the last wish the rabbit turned on his motorcycle and wished.....THAT THE BEAR WAS GAY!
2007-01-30 18:37:06 · answer #3 · answered by zoiy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
using all those dashes instead of spaces means its difficult to read about your show on the news station
american jokers ? and you want a joke?
My dog has no nose, How does he smell? Awful!!
awful just like that joke
2007-01-30 18:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by steven m 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show about my screen name on yahoo answers....becos no one at yahoo answers cud figure out what was the meaning of my screen name...the show will give the participants a chance to win a trip for two to Caribean if they guess the origin of my screen name.
hows that?
2007-01-30 18:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Le Saqib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blonde jokes:
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
~~~~~
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
~~~~
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
~~~~
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
~~~~
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
~~~~
Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called How to Hug, only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?
~~~~
blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
~~~
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, �Okay, we'll give him one more try.
We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!�
2007-01-30 19:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by kim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
showdown?
A school of angry kids = shooting
a school of preppy kids = shopping spree
a school of fish = shark
a school of 12 year olds = shanking
haha i have no idea where im going with this joke :) sorry
2007-01-30 18:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Jordan Alexis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show
shower O_o
shovel O_o
2007-01-30 18:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by Shorty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shaving cream all over the hallways and inside the classes
no school for today
2007-01-30 18:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by Nixmaster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show.
2007-01-30 18:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by THE UNKNOWN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋