Bored of my relationship boyfriend jeckle an hyde !?

Question

i love my boyfriend but he is rude to me verbally even hit me me in past . not romantic . lives with me for £400 all inclusive , only has sex when he is off his head . does not look at my at the dinner table never helps with tyding my house . i run a busy ebay busines and work a lot on my pc as he is always working on his every evenning . if he made an effort i would not work on mine so much. he is a it guy works on computers up to hi eyes in dept is not facing his problems . I want to end it but cannot get rid of him as he has no money for a place of his own. i am so unhappy having ot take sleeping tablets . i have his kidd here everyother weekend . feed and tidy up afterwards . whyat a nightmare . i see no future with him . after 2 years do not want to end it on a bad note as he treats to ruin my business etc etc . how do i get him to go . i tell him ut he does not take it serious .PLEASE HELP I AM SO UNHAPPY i feel sorry for him throwing him out and do not have the guts to do it ..

Answer 1

wrong category sweetie...and grow a backbone

Answer 2

Hi, first time I`ve ever answered anything like this but something about what you wrote kind of got to me. First of all please remember that you allways have a choice(nobody owns you)!The thing that get`s me is that you are putting everybodies interests before your own.If your business is doing well then that`s great but it sounds like you need his income to make ends meet.Would you still need that if he wasn`t there(maybe he`s costing you more than he`s worth,both moniteraly and emotionaly)? It sounds to me like you are indeed right about his debt worries.Sometimes men are reluctant to talk about this type of thing with their partners ( biggest mistake ever,we forget that you do actually love us.Male pride bullshit). What might have happened is that ( and I`m only saying MIGHT ) is the reason for the decline in realising that he`s taking the piss is that because of all this he`s given up hope of getting out of his personal dilemma. This is still no excuse to treat you like a scivy (did I spell that right?).However I think you need to ask him some questions because you cannot plan for your personal and business future within your present environment (I own three companies so I should Know). A..Does he love you? B.Does he know you love him and he can tell you anything? C.If the answer to the above two is yes. D.Tell him you love him again.Tell him what you don`t understand about his behavior towards you and your relationship. His Job(salary,outgoings,dependants,debt, prospects (IT is a big word) Please keep calm but don`t shrink away or be intimidated. E If you get a vague answer or a temper tantrem then be strong and tell him he had better come clean. F.If it`s debt, ,job,dependants or whatever (as long as you feel he`s not bullshitting you) then get on the net and get advise. He`ll feel like a weight has been lifted of his shoulders if he has the guts and the dignity to come clean with you.Creditors will allways try to help to come to an arrangement, just don`t let them bully him into a worse situation. After all this ,if he`s still not telling you anything or still taking the piss then you know you will have to take a life decision.Good luck with the business and the relationship. MA.

Answer 3

First of all, you are taking sleeping pills because you are putting them in your mouth, not because he makes you unhappy. So, please dont blame him for your decision to medicate yourself.

Look, he has hit you in the past. Thats enough for you to require him to leave. So what if he has no money? He hit you, he is rude to you. Those are enough for you to find someone who considers you important. Cut the sex off now. Why would you give your body to someone that doesnt deserve it?

Now, you are in control of your happiness. He cannot make you happy or unhappy. Happiness is a decision, not a feeling. It's a choice. I think you need to choose to be happy, and the way to do that is to rid your life of all things that would interfere with that objective. This doesnt have to be a big scene. Just tell him that you have a greater respect for yourself than he has for you, and that he is a distraction of your goal of being happy. Tell him you dont want trouble, and you wont cause any. You just want him to leave without any problems, because you are prepared to get others involved if he does. (and you need to mean that). Tell him it will be best for you, maybe not necessarily the best for HIM, or the TWO of you, but it's the best for you. Tell him you want a clean parting. You will not badmouth him or in any way try to harm him, and you expect the same from him. If you need someone there with you to protect you, then ask him to meet you in a neutral place and have a police officer nearby to make sure all goes well.

You need to restore some of your dignity and self-respect. Dump the bastard, but do it in a way that shows you have class. Best of luck to you, and congratulations on at least starting to take the steps to reclaim yourself. Youve been a slave to a freeloader for too long.

Answer 4

nope, i think she has picked the right category! You owe this guy nothing at all. Give him notice to walk. Don't budge on this, put it in writing if you haved to, but let him know you are serious. Why would you care if it ended on a bad note, surely you can't want to be friends when all this is through. He's either with you until something else comes along, or he's too lazy to move on....either way, he is using you. Tell the mother of his child that you no longer are involved with this guy so alternative arrangements will have to be made for him to see his child. He can't affect your e-bay business if you have good feedback. If he abuses the system, report him and get him thrown off. If he uses e-bay for his income too, he won't want to jeopardise that.

Answer 5

poor u, he sounds like a rite pig, no point in sittin down & talkin 2 him coz he prob won't listen n e way, u have 2 leave dis guy, he is takin u 4 a ride, if i woz in ur situation i wud change all d locks on d house when he is out at work, get busy packin up all his stuff, ask a friend 2 stay wit u 4 a few nites, u will den ave a witness 4 when he arrives shoutin abuse, if ur dat scared of him go 2 d police & tell dem wot he's like. Good luck

Answer 6

Set a time limit for him to get his sorry self out of YOUR house (one month, whatever). Tell him you're absolutely serious and then if he doesn't believe you, when the time is up, do what was said before and put his stuff out and change the lock.

I was with a verbally abusive guy like your once and didn't want to leave him because he had emotional issues, and I felt I had to take care of him. Then I decided I wasn't his mother, and since he was mistreating me, he didn't deserve any more care from me. (You need to come to this conclusion too.)

This guy doesn't deserve to live in your house. You are more important than he is. He's treated you like dirt and you're being too nice to him. Get mad, and get him out of your house!

Answer 7

Jojo sorry for your predicament but you have a good head on yor shoulders .This guy needs a swift sharp shock yesterday 400quid is only a good night out bet he could afford another place no problem .Send him kack to his x to play happy familys .You gotta life to live ;avoid sleeping tabs they bad news .HE HAS TO GO NOW !.Speak to a solicitor first to find your legal feet be fore armed .Enlist the help of trusted friends & family .Wish you luck .(YOU have Help here ok)cheers

Answer 8

He's only abusing you because you let him. Stand your ground, take no messing and get rid of him. He's dragging you down. If all else fails, try a short sharp kick in the nether regions, he'll know you mean business.

Answer 9

Then you need to get some friends & family to help you throw him out.He's holding you back majorly and isn't worth your time.There is a better guy out there,and thanks to him,you're not out there meeting that new guy.He's obviously draining you of the energy you need to run a business.

Answer 10

Just kick that loser, wife beating trash out of your house. Let him live with his family members. Also get a restraining order for saftey.

Answer 11

Wrong catagory, but it sounds like you need to pack his bags for him one day while he is out and change the locks on the doors as well, i think maybe then he will get the hint.