why am I not excited about my wedding?

Question

I'm not sure the answer, is this normal? I'm not excited about my wedding, or planning it.. I don't get what all the fuss is about.. I just want it to be over with. I hate picking out little things like pew bows and isle runners, I have a friend getting married a week after me.. and she is SO excited about it, she's really starting to annoy me.. asking me so many questions regarding details ect.. I havnt even gotten my dress yet.. Is this common? to just want a simple wedding, and a nice party? share some experiences.. Thanks.

Answer 1

OF COARSE ITS NORMAL.. To each their own! You sound like you are more simplistic, which is great! Dont worry or give in to what everyone else wants. Its your big day, Not theirs!

Answer 2

I think you are normal and sensible. I was not excited and all the little things were annoying as well as expensive. You don't have to have pew bows or any fussy things. The marriage is important, not the wedding. We got married outside, with no rain plan. I just didn't care if we got wet. If people wanted to see us get married, they could get wet too. The only thing I really got a kick out of, was how everyone we knew showed up to support us. It was a great day, even without the fuss.

BTW we are now expecting our first child and I am not excited about that either. I look forward to meeting her, but the baby trappings and plastic toys I can do without.

If you love your fiance and are glad to marry him, then relax and plan your simple day. Your guests will only remember the food anyway. And nobody takes the favors home. I bet you will enjoy your day more than your fussy friend will enjoy hers.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Oh, that's just cold! Your step "dad" has some nerve. No wonder you're not excited, I wouldn't be either. But, don't let it get to you. I mean - enjoy the relationship! If you want to marry this man, then there's gotta be *something* to enjoy. The companionship and the rewards of marriage go so far beyond the wedding ceremony. Perhaps you could "scale down" the wedding, if you're getting too stressed out. Focus on your partnership, and not as much on the wedding itself. My own experience with getting married was, I'm glad it's done and over so we can get on with our lives. We've known each other for just over a year before getting officiallly engaged, and after that we were - boom - married within 4 months. I couldn't stand a drawn-out engagement; the wedding was small and informal - but a TON of fun. I can't sat we were "excited" about it, we just wanted to do something fun and memorable - but the wedding itself was not the point, the point was in getting married. We'd lived together for over a year by the time we got married, but we found that marriage kind of took our relationship to the new level - like, we were suddenly realizing that this is "for real" or something; it was very enriching. The whole experience has been very positive for us, and the "wedding" played only a very minor part in the bigger picture. Congrats, and I hope things work out.

Answer 4

I'm getting married in July of 2008, and although I personally am pretty excited about it, I can understand your situation. I actually hate picking out the little details and everything, too. You're probably just feeling more stressed than excited, perhaps because of all the details involved or because it's the most important day of your life and you want it to be great. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a simple but nice wedding and reception. That's what I want too. It probably just means you don't like to be the center of attention and just want to get past that part and get into the better stuff, like the honeymoon and the rest of your life with your new husband. And obviously this has nothing to do with your fiance since you didn't mention him, so I think your feelings are perfectly normal. Just because you're not excited like most girls doesn't mean anything bad. It just means you're unique! Congratulations, girl!

Answer 5

I think it is absolutely normal! Many couples (especially the bride-to-be) end up focusing so much on "the day" that they neglect the actual relationship; all style, no substance. You're about to commit your life to someone else's; that's a big deal - a much bigger deal than poofy dresses, pew bows, or place cards.

The wedding INDUSTRY (and it is an industry, with bottom lines and stellar marketing techniques) has you thinking your reluctance to be excited over "your big day" (blech, by the way) is somehow problematic, when in reality it may be the most honest, refreshing way to approach such a huge life change.

Many couples end up eloping, or having a very simple ceremony with a handful of those nearest and dearest to them and a nice dinner out or gathering afterwards to avoid the very mess you're struggling to get psyched up about. And to some, the very idea of sharing such a private occasional with 100+ "friends" (who are in actuality more like aquaintances, eating overpriced prime rib and getting drunk on their dime) at such outrageous costs (I can think of better ways to spend - or SAVE - $20K) is unappealling; all that materialistic goop only detracts from the REAL purpose of the day/event: celebrating your love for each other.

Bottom line: it's a matter of taste. If you have confidence and security in you and your fiance's relationship, then you have nothing to worry about.

As for your friend, be honest. A simple "I haven't thought about it yet" should end the discussion pretty quickly.

Congratulations, and best of luck!

Answer 6

Don't buy into all of the pressures to do YOUR wedding in any certain way. There is no right or wrong way to marry. It is YOUR day and it is just a day. Unfortunately, too many people are too focused on their wedding day at the expense of their married life, which is hopefully longer then one day. Do what is in your heart, just be sure that the lack of excitement has to do with the wedding plans and not the actual getting married itself or that perhaps you have doubts about your future mate. That is something you also need to look into your heart about. I suggest you get out a notebook and start writing your feelings and the truth of your gut will pour out onto the page. Good luck with whatever YOU decide!

Answer 7

Everyone is different, thats y there are so many different options for getting married. I'm personally more like your friend, and got so excited that I started planning the day after we got engaged. But I want simple too, there are just different degrees of simple. This whole day is about you and your fiance`. It should reflect who you as a couple are. My fiance` & I are having a small immediate family only ceremony in a park and then a party after. Just relax. Maybe flip through some books or different websites and see if anything looks good. Good luck!!!!

Answer 8

You sound just like me. I waited days before I shared the news of my engagement with family and friends......you'd have thought an atomic bomb went off!!!! Then I started looking at venues and said I'd get a nice place that does weddings and includes a wedding consultant in their services.

Not being excited doesn't mean a thing! As long as you are in love with the person you are marrying for all I care I could be standing in a pair of jeans on the courthouse steps because I'm marrying the love of my love and as long as it happens thats all that matters, but for the sake of my family I'm going to put on a nice affair.

A great resource is herecomestheguide.com I'm doing simple too and it is VERY easy to become overwhelmed with the choices. Sit down with your fiance, talk about what you want out of the day and plan out your wedding party. Then go look at dresses. Before you go, think about the type of dress you want to have, as it will determine the type of wedding you want to have.

From there my dear good luck and don't let others get you down.
From one bride to another.......good luck!!

Answer 9

I felt the same way... I hate all the unnecessary details. It would drive me nuts if I had to make decisions about the flower arrangements or the colors of the bridesmaids dresses, or figure out whether or not the ribbons go with the shoes. I wanted my wedding to be "fun", this was my main requirement. We ended up having a totally improvised and informal outdoor wedding, with family and friends around; it was a blast, and I can't imagine doing it any other way. I think, if you're not the type of person who can spend hours picking out shoes, dresses and bows, it's probably wise to simplify the whole procedure - pare it down to just the fun part, and be happy. Congrats.

Answer 10

I feel the same way....that's why we're having our wedding at a bed and breakfast (ceremony will be outside and then reception inside) and having less than 30 guests. And the reception is just a nice luncheon, no dancing or anything. That way the scenery already looks nice and the only thing to get are centerpieces, bouquets and maybe just a few more decorations.

Or you could always go elope...which it actually what I would prefer but my fiance wants his family and best friend there, which I can understand.

Answer 11

make sure your parner knows that you want a simple wedding.

so many people go overboard with thier weddings like there is something to prove. so if your wedding seems bigger than it needs to be, it's only natural that you feel you are not getting the attention you deserve.

you are making a comitment. it's exciting.
but you and your partner should be doing this together so you can both compremise the kind of thing you want.


just remember that at the end of the day you are making a life long commitment to the person you should love most in the world.
if you're lucky you'll end up old and happy.
that's the important thing.

if you think the preparations are a bit overboard, say something, you'll regret it if you don't.

hope you have a happy life.