my family is disowning me because im joining the navy, what to do?

Question

my parents are so hurt and my mom is so angry with me that she said once i leave that i can never come back. she feels im ruining my life. and i come from an arabic background so u can see my dilemma here. it's against our culture.

by the way..i fight with my family constantly, and i have 3 brothers and no sisters plus im the youngest. i do feel like i get treated differently because im a girl. i know that im not happy here though.

one more thing im going in the navy as a hospital corpsman which is like a nurse. i plan on getting my bachelors in nursing while im there. i want to get my education, but they think that i will get lazy and not continue pursuing it.

Answer 1

Your mother is merely using harsh statements in her attempt to change your mind. I doubt their anger will persist. Have her read this verse by Kahlil Gibran.

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.



Additional:
As a corpsman you would probably be embedded in a marine unit. Good luck to you and be safe out there.

Answer 2

I was in the Navy and it was one of the best life decisions I ever made. I joined right out of High School. I had to grow up and take responsibility for my life and the lives of other people. Military work is noble and honorable work. Go into the Military if it calls to you.

Your parents will get over it, and you will be a better person for it.

edit - I was a corpsman too. I got into "C" school for psychiatry. Taking classes while your in is easy once you get to your first permanent duty station. 1-2 classes a semester is normal. Talk with your Leading Petty Officer (LPO) about school when you get stationed. If all else fails, you can get out of the Navy with your LPN license by just having an Officer who is a nurse sign off on some paperwork for 2 years. Ask your LPO or Chief about that.

Answer 3

Although I am not of the same ethnic background, I am the first person to go in the military (NAVY) since my great-great grand father and he died after only 2 years in. I got a lot of grief from all of my family, especially my mother also. Mostly because I've always had a problem following through with anything. I got my girlfriend pregnant and dropped out of high school. Kept starting and stopping my education after that. Then one day when I felt like I just couldn't take anymore I saw a Navy commercial and before i knew it I was all signed up. The Navy even provided me with classes and I got my GED in boot camp! A couple years later she told me that she was like that only because she worried about me but after she saw how happy i was and that i was following through with my education she began to except my decision and shortly after that she started bragging to everyone about me and showing them my Navy pictures. Unfortunately there was an accident and I became paralyzed from the waist down. Even though this happened to me I have no regrets what so ever about joining the Navy. In four and a half years I've experienced more things and been to more places then anyone I know! Even though this was about four years ago my mother still brags to everyone about me.

So even though your mother refuses to see things from your point of view and no matter how upset she gets with you, just know that you are making a great decision for your future and she'll come around when she sees that.

Answer 4

Your doing the right thing for you...I understand the arabic's beliefs and u are doing something positive. I had a very old fashion family too.They also believe in useing the belt.My parents learned this from their parents and so on.I stopped it when I had my child. Just like when u get your education and have a family.You will use your own beliefs which are better for u. Every generation should learn by their up bringing. On what is right and what isn't right for them. The ones that don't make the same mistakes as their parents are the ones who evolve. Good luck

Answer 5

I'm sorry they feel that way. Both of my neices joined the Air Force for opportunity because they came from a small town where there was no chance for jobs or careers, and they got great job training and careers and got to see some of the world. I would be proud if you were my daughter and made a good choice like that, but I'm not from your culture. But if you are here in the United States, don't they want you to have a good life, better chances than you would have had in your home country?

Answer 6

It is hard what your family is doing to you. I am not familiar with your Arabic back round, but I am sure that once you leave your family will miss you and they will prey for your safe return.

While being in the Navy, you are going to meet so many different people, you will eventually feel as if they are your family as well. If you are worried about feeling lonely, there will be plenty of people there and plenty of things to do to take your mind off of your loneliness.

I hope it all works out well for you!

Answer 7

What are the beliefs of your family? Of yourself? My parents told me the same thing the day I got on the plane to move to AZ because of the guy I am with. She was mad for a while but I kept contact and wrote her even if she didn't write back. I APOLOGIZED. She came back around. Your parents love you, it might be they are pissed off. Try to show the benefits, ie. college, and see if they soften up. You'll be able to tell if your parents will or not talk to you aqain. If they are serious about that then is the Navy worth giving up your family?

Answer 8

This is a sad situation. give her a list of the practical reasons for joining the navy, like learning a job skill, getting money for college, having an opportunity to travel. Tell your mom you care about her and don't want to be on bad terms with her, but be firm that the decision on what path to choose is yours. (I'm assuming your over 18 and can do what you want). Are YOU sure you want to do this? if so you might have to deal with a little friction with your mother--if she cuts you off financially, can you get by? but I can't imagine her being like this permanently.

Answer 9

If your mother really loves you, which I'm sure she does she will not disown you. She has to see that what you are doing is for your country and that joining a branch of the service will make you more disciplined, responsible and a better leader for when you get out and pursue a career. Anchors Away!

Answer 10

Write your parents a letter explaining WHY you are enlisting, and why you deeply feel this is the right thing for you. Try to address some of their concerns, and point out how your duty doesn't necessarily conflict with their values and beliefs.
Once you leave, persist in contacting them, but don't expect a response. Continue to send them letters and messages so that they can see how much you still love them and how important your work is to you. They may ignore you for awhile, out of anger and fear for your safety, but eventually they will come around.
good luck!