A little background: Met "B" 6 months ago, after a month he told me he had a daughter (5 years-old) and still lived with his baby's mom, but was trying to leave her... I stayed, what can I say, I love him... 2 weeks ago the "you-know-what" hit the fan and she found out about me... It's ended between them and he's moving out in 2 months...
Well, I just found out that I'm pregnant (about 5 weeks) and I'm scared to death to tell him... He's said over and over that he doesn't want another child... I've been on birth control, so this was a total shock...I don't know how to tell him? I'm not sure if he's going to take it well, or totally flip out... I'm scared he'll leave me... Any ideas on how to tell him? This is also of course going to have an affect on his baby's mom and his 5-year-old daughter...
My mom is also going to totally flip out because she is not fond of "B" at all... How do I tell her? Who do I tell first?
PS - I'm 24 and he's 28
Thanks.
2007-01-30 09:17:58 · 14 answers · asked by Crystal Blue 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First, sorry you are in this situation, but congratulations on the baby! They are such a blessing. I think you just have to tell him. he needs to know and be prepared. I would also tell your mom. It sounds like once she knows and accepts it, she'll be a big support. You may want to have her on your side if "B" doesn't step up to the plate. Good luck
2007-01-30 09:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kirsten 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first person you should tell is the boyfriend since he is the father and has a right to know. I am sure he will be upset, but it is just as much a shock and a surprise to you as it is him. But he can't get upset with you since you are both adults and know that birth control is never 100%...if he really was adamant about not having more children right now he should have been wearing a condom with the pill ,or whatever other method it was you were using, as a back up. Hopefully your mother will come around after a bit....I am sure she will fall in love with her grand-child! You have a hard thing to deal with right now...especially with another child involved and her feelings to consider. Give him his space to freak out if he needs to. Remember his feelings are legitimate too! But don't let him try to blame you. Good luck! And congrats!
2007-01-30 09:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by silentscreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your boyfriend first, since it is his child, and he has the right to know first. If he truly loves you as much as you say you love him then he will be happy for the both of you. Just in case he takes it bad, just give him sometime and he'll soon realize that its a good thing that you two are going to have a baby. After you get him calmed down sit your mom down and explain to her that you are in love with your boy friend and that it was an accident, but shes going to be a grandmother. She might be a little upset but as well, she will learn to love the child and be happy for you and your boy friend. Hope this helped.
-Kebo
2007-01-30 09:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by kebo0000088 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, sweetie sounds like a big scam to me. In the first place if she found out about you and he is still staying there for 2 months. Come on now do you think he is not still sleeping with her? Are you that naive? If I was with someone and they were still with someone they did not want to be with and she finds out about you and he is still staying there for two months. How stupid does this guy think you are? Sounds like you may be raising a baby alone and sounds like you would be better off than with him. He sounds like a player. But I do not know all the details and not my place to judge. Good luck and God Bless!!!!
2007-02-03 16:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by craftylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's me I'll have a few back up plan in the back of my mind, he'll eventually find out whether you going to tell now or later, since his the father.
Back up plan such as, find out who is willing to help you after the birth of your child, What to do next if he denies this child.
Personally I advice you to put you and your baby as number 1 priority right now, and not worry about any other people's feelings. ( If he denies you, get a DNA test done after your baby is born, he will have to pay for your child support.)
2007-01-30 09:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by 結縁 Heemei 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight. Tell your mom. You are an adult, you made choices, and now comes the time to accept the responsibilities for those choices. This includes your BF. If he refuses sue him for paternity. I know that it will be difficult but the sooner you get a grip on the situation the more options you will have.
2007-01-30 09:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he is never going to leaving her...you are just fluff on the side. Based on the way he treats his other g/f, you are getting off easy. You are better off without him. Kicking him to the curb will also soften your mom up for when you break her heart with the pregnancy. At least she might help you file the paternity suit. Good luck.
2007-02-06 06:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by bartender1115 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and ask what hes planning to do now in life and where do you stand. Tell him your pregnant , and explain your in shock too. He will get over it, if not now when he sees the babies cute face. As for your mom.... well u are 24 she will have to get over it. After all its her grandchild no matter who the father is.
2007-01-30 09:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by tammer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell Him
If he wants have him take an DNA test
If he's a jerk, he Will ask
If he does not want to be a part of her life, that's okay
If he does, that's okay
Sue him for child support.
Take care of yourself
Please tell your mom, she loves you, she will love your child
She will help you if he turns out to be a Jerk
Mom's always on their child side
2007-01-30 11:37:00 · answer #9 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow going through alot.. but my suggestion is to tell your mom.. regardless she will love you no matter what.. as for your bf tell him and give him proof that you are... cause some guys will think that you just tryin to trap him.. and if he really did love you he would leave his ex asap not in two months.. i wish you all the best of luck
2007-01-30 11:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by lilricanmami808 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋