HELP!!! Relationship trouble!!!?! Worried and crying!?

Question

We both are 19, year into knowing each other and 8 months into relationship. We both care about each other very much! AND I LOVE HER TO DEATH!!

Every single day, I look forward to talking to her when she gets back from school. I put off everything when she's on, and give her my full attention. The only thing that makes my days go my is thoughts about her and thoughts about talking to her. I have given myself completely to her. I have opened myself completely to her, and I live for her.

Wouldn't you get sad if you waited to do something the whole day, thinking about every passing second, and then not happening?

So after she got back from school, IM'ed and I could tell it wasn't the same. You can tell even from the way they type that something's bothering them after you have spent soo much time together! She was wasn't talking at all, and I tried asking what's the matter? What's wrong? And her response was, "i am just in a bad mood... its all goood" And so after a while, I asked her again because she wasn't talking at all and it made me worrry, and she said, "i am just tired and nervous for finals and everything."

Every time, when something's wrong or bothering her, she says, it's nothing, but ends up being something huge. So then I left her alone for a while, and I even apologized if I did or said anything wrong, or was it something I said that she's not talking to me because that's not her. No matter what she will talk to me, UNLESS there's something on her chest bugging about me or something related to us, BUT SHE WON'T SAY IT!!

I even sent sorry cards and said sorry millions of times - for something I don't even know I did wrong or not! But I am willing to do that because I love her too much!

I told her "I love you" and her response was " miss u and love u tooo" That's not like her at all! And it was making me sad like crazy. And then I asked her again what's wrong, and she said it's nothing!!

And I asked her if we can meet this Wednesday, and usually she gets really excited and happy, but today, her response was:

ME: would you be able to meet then?
HER: sure
ME: do you want to?
HER: i don't care
HER: if u want to
ME: sigh
HER: whattt
HER: u do or u don't want too?

All week long I look forward to seeing her, and this is the response I get! It made me cry because it seemed like she didn't even care!

And then one last time, I asked her again:

ME: honey.. can i ask you one more time..? you swear on me there's nothing bothering you or any reason why you aren't talking normal? spill your heart out? prettty please?

HER: i am just not in the mood and tired and stressed and fasting and sleepy and everything else
HER: sooo yeah
ME: what's everything else?
HER: nothing
HER: i knew u would ask that
HER: its nothing don't worry about it
ME: i can't.. it's you
ME: it usually starts of with nothing and goes into something bigger
HER: no it doesn't
HER: its A OK
ME: can you say is it about us?
ME: me?
ME: you?
HER: no one
HER: but myself
ME: aaah ok
ME: i tried
HER: i AM FINE
HER: nothings wrongg
HER: stop making me feel stupid

So what am I suppose to do now?! She won't talk or say anything at all!!! And after a while after talking about life in general, she said:

HER: every time i get sad or hurt i bury it deep down inside
HER: cause i know if i go and tell u
HER: ur gonnna either start crying or have stupid thoughts
ME: naah
ME: i just cry because i get sad because you don't tell me
HER: if i tell u
HER: u just get hurt
HER: then whats the point of saying it
HER: and i like to keep to myself when i am sad and hurt
HER: and pretend like everythings fine

AND THEN SHE SAID:

HER: me and my mom like to be stubborn
HER: and not like to say anything
HER: and i guess thats gonna be one element i am not gonna get rid of
HER: cause having a big mouth sucks and having a quiet mouth is better then a loud mouth

SO WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY NOW?! I tried to tell her communication is the key.. I TELL HER EVERYTHING EVEN IF IT HURTS HERS... but she always does that..!

And sometimes, I can't even tell if she's pretending or not!!
We never used to have this kind of moments before except this month. It already happened three times this month out of no where!! HELP!

HELP ME!! GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!! Give me something to tell to her that might make her change her mind OR anything to make her feel better! I am ready to change my self for her, and I am ready to accept the fact that she doesn't say anything and keeps her feelings and every from me. But i just get sad because I thought relationship was about loving and caring..!! HELPP!!!

Answer 1

First of all, you have to calm yourself down. Seems you always want her to validate her love for you by her reaction to situations or you PANIC. Try your best not to give in to Panic and trust in the love you and her have together. This will give the relationship room to breath and grow in a natural state. We all are humans and want to feel free to have our bad days as well as the good ones. As much as it is nice to have someone be concerned about us, it is not fun when someone is overly concerned. Then it almost starts to feel like being suffocated. She seems to love you very much, but you need to back off and stop appearing so desperate and needy. This will only turn her off. Just let her know you love her, and tell her you will respect her time for privacy for how ever long she needs it. Then just do that, leave her alone until she calls you. This is not the end if you do not let it be the end. The flame of love is still there so do not suffocated. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Look man, I was in your shoes, do NOT pressure her to tell you anything that is wrong with her, she has a way to deal with things, so let it be. I was like that, but I learned quick, sometimes they play games with you, giving the cold shoulder and what not. How about you try this, since she knows you act this way when she gets like that, try letting it be, and maybe give her some space. Women don't respond to guys who suffocate them. Just a quick shot of advice, don't live for her, she is human just as you are, and if you put all your hopes and trust in her, she will let you down.

Answer 4

I would strongly suggest that you seek counseling for your insecurities. She may feel trapped by your need to be accepted and at the forefront of her mind. Dependency on someone can push them away from you instead of drawing them closer. Talk with a counselor or professional, even your guidance counselor can help, but find someone. In the long run, you will be a better person and boyfriend.

Answer 5

it sounds like she is at a cross roads with you she loves you but something is missing she does not what to hurt you and she wants to be with you but she needs a littel time.just tell her you are her freind and that you love her very much . tell her that you understand she is in pain and you would like to help that you will be ther when she is ready to open up to you. then let it go dont bring it up for a few days and give her some space she will come to you and tell you what is wrong.

Answer 6

how about this tell her to meet up with u dont talk about this over the net at all! talk to her about this to her face and if shes sayin ur gonna get urt she is keeping something from u when u see her tell her she needs to tell u whats going on and what shes not telling u bc, u dont deserv this she sees how much u love her thats not rit!

Answer 7

She needs to be reminded that, no matter what it is, no matter why she's upset, you will love her. Tell her that if she needs you you're there, and you'd like to know why she's upset but you're not going to bother her. And then leave her alone about it till SHE brings it up again.

Answer 8

You need to rent "When a Man Loves a Woman". It's not always about fixing things for her.

Answer 9

Sit down and write her a letter make it short and sweet saying how you feel about her see what happens.good luck.

Answer 10

find a psychiatrist quickly. you have a problem. But on the other hand, maybe she's pregnant. AND STOP BEING A DAMN CRYBABY!!!