were my parents wrong for doing this?lesbian?

Question

My mom wanted to tell me that she was a lesbian and not to tell dad, then a day later dad came up to me and said that he was gay and not tell mom. Well a few days passed, and I didn't know what to do. I felt that we were not a family anymore and all of a sudden my mom and dad told me to come and they told me that they were joking, and asked how did it feel to think that your dad was gay and mom was a lesbian. I told them how I felt, and they said see this is why we don't support gay marriage and gays adopting, and you felt the same way that we were not a family. What do you guys think? My dad is a pastor

Answer 1

I think it was a cruel trick and had nothing to do with any arguments for or against gay marriage. It's no different than if they had simply told you that they were getting a divorce just to "teach" you that you appreciated being in a secure family. Gays who adopt raise happy, healthy kids the same as single parents and married couples. I'm sorry this happened to you. You deserve much better.

And this certainly wasn't a good example of the "right" kind of family, was it? Or a very good example of Christian beliefs. Jesus loved children and would never have resorted to playing such a cruel trick.

Answer 2

i can't believe that a pastor would pull a trick like that on his child! Another thing a child growing up in a gay household will have love for the parents no matter what they do because they are their parents... The reason you probably felt like you weren't a family anymore was because both of your parents were telling you to keep a secret, which you as a child should have no business keeping. You trust your parents and i know i would have been devastated if they told me those things. That would be any childs natural instinct. I think your parents shouldn't have brought up the whole gay marriage and adoption issue to you in that matter... now that to me is just childish!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I think it was cruel of your parents to play this "trick"on you! I think you need to tell them that it wasn't fair to put you in such a ridiculous position. Of course you felt like you weren't a family anymore because families don't do things like that to each other, it doesn't mean that you have to be against gay marriage or adoption. I think your parents need to seriously consider how they hurt you by doing this. You say your dad is a pastor, well he should know that God does not play tricks and thus should not have tried to trick you. I really can't believe a parent would do that to their own flesh and blood. As far as your feelings on gay marriage and adoption I think you need to look at what your particular definition of a family is and decide on your own not through a trick how you feel.

Answer 4

There was no reason for this kind of cruelty. Plus, when gays adopt, it is pretty well known they are gay. Also, a person being raised in a gay household more than likely realizes this. It was a bogus reason to be against gay marriage and gay adoption. What would they have done if you had no problem with it? Plus, why put such secrecy on a child?

What your parents did was abominable.

Answer 5

that is a mentally cruel thing of your parents to do. but all they had to do was sit you down and discuss this like adults and not make you think your whole life was based on lies. they need to grow up. that was so unfair of them to do that to you. but that is why you need to make up your own opinions a/b these matters and not have your parents playing games. furthermore how would they feel if you had did that to them . i don't think they'd find it funny. there are better ways to get their points across and if they have raised you right then they have nothing to worry about now do they. and as far as your father being a pastor. he should set a better example of tolerence. things like that breeds hatred and comptempt of others. this is why so many people are are leaving the church. i know i did. you need to have a serious talk w/them and let them know how you are feeling. best wishes. take care.

Answer 6

I don't know how two supposedly loving parents could justifying behaving in such a hurtful way to their own child. To force you into such confusion and distress to somehow "prove" that their views of gay marriage and adoption by gays are right - much less "Christian" - borders on mental abuse.

All they've proven is that they are willing to hurt you, the very one whom our Lord gave to them to nurture and love, just to be "right". If your dad really is a pastor, I do hope he asks both God and you for forgiveness - and that your mother does as well.

I also hope that you can forgive them, if only to show them how one really loves one's family.

Answer 7

You would feel the same way if your father would have told you he was in love with another woman --- and if your mom would have said she was in love with another man. You would have felt like your family was falling apart. I think your parents are a bit abusive. They shouldn't play with your emotions like that to try to make a point. You parents are entitled to their beliefs but they shouldn't play with your emotions like that. Shame on them. My point of view is as long as you have two loving parents who protect you, keep you safe and make you feel loved --- they have done their job.

Furthermore, there are a lot of children who need parents - whether they are gay or not. Your parents are trying to eliminate a whole group of potential parents from children who need love.

Your parents should spend more time loving you and consider your feelings.

Sorry it's my opinion and you asked.

Answer 8

Odd behavior for a pastor. They shouldn't try to make you feel a certain way by lying to you. You should use your own judgment when it comes to gays and lesbians. Isn't lying a sin?

Answer 9

I think that is stupid. Gay couples raise their children to be respectful and open-minded to ideas such as homosexuality. Love makes a family, not who your parents are banging.

Answer 10

There's something seriously wrong here. Why would they even think about joking about something like that? They both seem a bit disturbed if you ask me.