2007-01-30 08:50:35 · 43 answers · asked by Jaz 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye?
doyouthinkhesaurus
2007-01-30 08:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by mr_soapytitwank 3 · 2⤊ 7⤋
What cheers you up when you are sick?
A Get Wellephant card
Why was the baby ant confused?
All of his uncles were ants!
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel
What is in the middle of Paris?
The letter R
If you drop a Yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wet
What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in a thousand years?
The letter M
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7 8 9 (7 ate(8) 9)
Why didn't the lady run away from the attacking lion?
Because she thought it was a MANeating lion.
What get bigger when you take more out of it?
A hole!
What starts with P, ends with E, and has thousands of letters in it
Post officE
2007-01-30 09:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by Arielle D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So there was three girls. Brunette, BLonde, and red head. they were surrounded on a boat by pirates with guns. Each girl wanted to distract the pirates to escape. the brunette shouted earthquake and all the pirates ducked and she ran away. the red head shouted tornado, all the pirates ducked and she ran away, then the blonde shouted fire! all the pirates shot their guns and she died.
another one is there was a brunette, blond and red head on the edge of a cliff. a genie appeared and said that he is going to push them off the cliff and they get one wish on what they are to land on. the brunette said pillows and she landed on pillows. the redhead said mattresses and she landed on matresses. the blond tripped on a rock and said crap and landed in a big pile of poop! (dont be offended by the dumb blonde jokes, im a blonde!)
2007-01-30 08:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hers alittle rhyme
the elephant is a dainty bird
He flits from bough to bough
he builds his nest in a rhubarb tree,
and whistles like a cow.
what did the earwig say when jumping off a cliff...Earwig go!!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam..
what do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Try Kids.yahoo.com *used to be yahooligans
2007-01-30 09:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by Croeso 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why are pirates called pirates?
because they aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh
did you hear about the magic tractor?
it turned into a field...
why did the trousers laugh?
cos the washing machine was taking the p out of the pants
why did the tomato blush?
cos it saw the salad dressing
2007-01-30 12:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she/he hasn't learned this yet it may not make much since but here it goes:
Ok there's like more Catholic Churches in Las Vages more than there are casinos. So they give the chips they get from the casinos and give them to the monks. So they call the monks that count these chips: CHIPMONKS!
2007-01-30 11:18:27 · answer #6 · answered by savy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there was an english teacher for kids whose 1st language isn't english. she told her kids to write about how a firefighter saved a baby from a burning house from the newspaper.
one kid wrote: the fireman went in the burning house. when he came out he was pregnant.
she asked him why he wrote pregnant. he took out a dictionary and pointed to pregnant. pregnant was defind as "carrying a child"
2007-01-30 09:27:40 · answer #7 · answered by Rene C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why do the teletubbies all use the toilet together?
because they only have one tinky winky between them
guess who i saw today?
who?
everyone i looked at
not my best jokes but my 8 yr old thinks they are hilarious
2007-01-30 11:21:42 · answer #8 · answered by 0000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What did 0 (zero) say to 8? 'Nice belt'.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9 (7 'ate' 9)
'Knock knock'. 'Who's there?'. 'Boo'. 'Boo who?'. 'No need to cry, it's only a joke'.
2007-01-30 08:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Miller 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Blonde jokes:
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
~~~~~
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
~~~~
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
~~~~
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
~~~~
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
~~~~
Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called How to Hug, only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?
~~~~
blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
~~~
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, �Okay, we'll give him one more try.
We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!�
2007-01-30 11:41:07 · answer #10 · answered by kim 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A mother is putting her small son to bed in the middle of a thunderstorm. "Mummy, can I sleep with you tonight?" asks the nervous boy.
"I'm sorry darling," says Mother. "But I have to sleep with Daddy tonight."
"What?" replies the boy...."Tell the big coward not to be such a baby!" (\(*:*)
2007-01-30 08:56:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋