How Can I Comfort Him?

Question

My son was diagnosed at the age of 3 weeks with IS, which then turned into just a seizure disorder since he developed as he should and was not delayed. His seizures stopped at about 7 months. Last week he had a temp of 105.1 becuase of the flu and they said he should be ok. After that, his seizures started back up. Last night he had a full blown one. His was the kind where there are usually twitches in his limbs as he falls asleep. But this one was his entire body, which freaked me out as his mom, and his eyes were rolling. It scared me to death and I couldn't stop myself from crying because his little body was just going through too much. When he woke up half an hour later, he vomited and I learned that it's common when they have full blown seizures. How can I comfort him without driving myself up the wall? I just don't know what to do and can't help feeling like it's my fault although the doctors keep saying it has nothing to do with me. I keep feeling like I did something

wrong when I was pregnant with him. I fell down the stairs a couple of times and each time the doctor said that everything was fine. What can I do to comfort the both of us?

He is 11 months now.

I mean drive me up the wall as in go insane. From watching my little guy go through this. Fevers do trigger seizures, according to the doctor, and that's what happened with him. He was seizure free since 7 months, or around there, but they started back up when he had this fever.

I never once considered him a pain in the butt. I ask out of concern, not selfishness. Thanks for the insult.

He had every test in the book performed. They can't find a cause. MRI shows a normal brain. The only thing was what they called a "seizure pattern" on his brain. Nothing genetic, nothing from his spinal tap, no cause. Just "there"

Answer 1

Falling down the stairs was an accident and you did not deliberately fall. My mother had seisures and her's was caused by a head trauma when she was a little baby.

We don't know why these things happen, but God has a plan for you and for your baby,and we have to trust in that plan.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

I am going to post your post onto my prayerline and lift the both of you up to the Lord. What seems so grim to us has a plan well out of our own ability to see just yet. We are going to pray together right now...

Father,

I lift up this mother and her child to You for Your healing hands to be placed upon them. I ask this of Your perfect will and not mine. I trust in You that this child and this mother will not have to go at this alone, and that You will guide them, and the doctors to an answer in your perfect time.

Now until this goal is led vicitoriously, we are not going to worry, but embrace this experience. We are going to draw strength from this experience. We are going to be a witness to others who might be going through this same thing and showing them that through our faith in you Father, all things are possible, according to Your perfect will and time.

I ask for You to comfort this mother, and child, and fill them with peace and joy in the knowledge that You have this in your healing hands right now and from now on. We together claim Victory in the blood of Jesus! In the precious name of Jesus, amen

Jesus is the ultimate comforter! Praise Him, Pray to Him, Listen to Him and above all Accept Him, and thank Him!

John 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

God bless you always

Carol

Answer 2

Its interesting that the seizures started back up after the bout with the flu, and the awfully high fever. I don't know alot about the disorder. Anyway, You don't say how old your son is now, but the little guy needs you right now, more than at any other time he can remember - so you need to be there for him, and hey, I have some news for you - you have to do this, whether it "drives you up the wall" or not, although I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. You should want to do nothing else but hold and comfort him. Any distraction FROM THAT should be what would drive you up a wall. You also need to drop the guilt stuff, and stand up strong and able. This is no time for you to be on a guilt trip, so dump that ridiculous nonsense so that your mind is clear and able to do what you need to for his sake. If you don't then THATS when its gonna be your fault. Make sure you take him for a second opinion, and listen very carefully to everything that they tell you about his condition. Know what you need to do if another seizure were to happen. Be prepared, and be knowledgeable;
beyond that, be there for him; hold him and just tell him one truth: that his mommy is right here and always will be. He's terribly frightened, and he needs to know he's not alone, and that he's not a pain in your butt, either. Do you understand that?

Answer 3

This is out of an article I read........

Seizures may be symptoms of many health problems. Concerned friends would clip articles about convulsions and how they can be caused by a misaligned spine, by an imbalance of vitamins or minerals, by hormone imbalance or hypoglycemia, even by parasites. I faithfully tried all the remedies offered. I went to many kinds of doctors and had many tests. We only learned that I was unusually healthy, yet the seizures continued.

When I would have another seizure, family and friends would often say: “You should take better care of yourself.” Eventually this hurt my feelings. It made it seem as if I was doing something to cause the seizures; yet I was trying my best to care for my health. Looking back, I realize theirs was a natural reaction. They, like us, were having a difficult time accepting epilepsy. Like the apostle Paul, I had difficulty dealing with my “thorn in the flesh.”—2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

The diagnosis arrived. Minimal brain damage was discovered in the front temporal lobe. The most likely cause was either a very difficult birth or a very high fever during the first few months of life. My parents were questioned, which was very painful for them. They said that both of these causes were possibilities. The kind of epilepsy I suffer from, we learned, is not hereditary.

Answer 4

Many seizure disorders get better on their own as the child ages. There are certain diets that supposedly work wonders too. Talk to the doctors, get a second opinion.

Just hold him and love him, that's all you can do. It's not your fault, kids are born with problems all the time, its not the parents fault.

Look at the Mayo Clinic website, I'm pretty sure that's where the diet originated. It's a very strict diet, but seems to keep kids from having seizures.

Answer 5

My friend has a son with a very serious form of a seizure disorder--he is very developmentally delayed. Still, she did nothing to him to make him that way. And it's not your fault that your son has seizures. I think you should talk to a nurse who has some experience with babies and seizures--someone who can give you some practical suggestions for comforting your baby. I suggest a nurse rather than a doctor because in general they have more time to talk and tend to be more personal and caring--at least that has been my experience. Ask your doctor for someone you can talk to about comforting your son.

Answer 6

First, don't think it has to be somebody's fault. It's your natural instinct, as the mother of an infant, to blame yourself if anything goes wrong and the bigger the thing that goes wrong the bigger the blame. This is a vicious cycle that you need to break. It will not do him any good and it will hurt you (which, ultimately, will hurt your ability to care for him).

Second, as he gets older, make sure he knows that you don't blame him and that he hasn't done anything wrong which caused this. Just as you are blaming yourself, his tendency will be to blame himself.

Third, listen to the doctors and take their advice. There is an immense Internet out there which is filled with websites offering alternative ways to cure your son. Try and resist them. Some disorders are just not understood well by doctors but that doesn't mean that the right herbs, candles, crystals, prayers, supplements, bracelets, or anything else will be able to help. Sometimes you just have to wait for science to catch up.

Fourth, find a support group for yourself. This is one thing the Internet is good for, especially if you live in a small town. You need the support, experience, and sympathy of other people who are also dealing with this. Furthermore, offering those people your support, experience, and sympathy will be good for you as well as them. One thing to note, this should be a support group for you, not a therapy group for your son. Do not expect to find any miracle cures and be suspicious of any that you hear about from the support group.

Fifth, as your son grows, be honest and up front with people about his condition. See if your locality has preschools for special ed kids and see if he qualifies. Try to give him as much freedom as your doctors will allow. Try to get him some friends whose parents understand what you both are going through.

Good luck.

Answer 7

You're in a difficult spot. My sympathies.

I think the first thing you need to do is let go of your guilt. Otherwise every time you look at him, you're just putting yourself through hell and interfering with your own ability to cope with the situation. I know it's difficult, but if you can forgive yourself for whatever wrongdoing you perceive you'll find yourself a lot less nervous and a lot less frazzled by the day-to-day task of caring for him.

So first, comfort yourself. Learn how to do something each day that is just for you; take pleasure in gardening, meditation, prayer, cooking, or whatever distracts your mind and gives you a much-needed break. Dealing with unpleasant thoughts all the time really wears one down. Again, it won't be easy at first, but it does get easier with practice.

Comforting him? Love him and hold him. You haven't said how old he is, so I don't know if he's of an age to ask questions, but I'd advise you to be ready with the answers when he is, as best you're able. A chronic health condition is never easy to live with, but the unconditional support of one's family can make a world of difference.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

sweetheart this really isnt your fault ... honestly
the baby is so well protected in the womb that little falls will cause no harm
but when you are comforting him , you have to seperate yourself from being a mother for that time
i know this sounds odd but i promise it really really helps ( both of you )
become the nurse , adopt a different role for that time
so that you do not become emotionally attatched and upset , so that you can deal with the situation
it is kind of like role play
and yes this is easier said than done
but if you can try this , i am sure it will help so much
my love to you both xxx

Answer 9

You have to trust the doctors on this and stop blaming yourself.

You trusted them and believed them when they diagnosed him. You have to go a little bit further and believe that it's not your fault.

It's human nature to want to blame ourselves when things go wrong. We must blame "an event", a god, a devil. Truth is bad things just happen to people who don't deserve it and that's the way it is. Blaming yourself is just spending a lot of energy in a negative way that could be used to help your son. Try to focus your energy on what you can do and believe the docs when they tell you that it's not your fault.

Answer 10

I heard a diet slightly higher in fats helps with seizures, but you should check with the doctor first. Lots of good omega-3's and stuff like that should reduce them.