am in love with this wonderful man, but he still works for his ex-fiance's father, and with her (she works up in the office, he runs the business). She just got married last march, and we are getting married next June but I am still bothered by it. they broke off their engagement over 2 years ago, but they have gotten back together 3 times since then, with her switching back from her (now) husband and him (with the last "break up" in dec of 2004). He swears that there is nothing between and that "they are better friends then they were ever lovers" but the fact is that he was with her for over 3 1/2 years and she is always calling him. This didn't used to bother me but I have caught him lying about her several times and he is extremely protective of his phone-doesn't let me even touch it. He also will not talk to her in front of me, which if she really is "just calling about work" i don't really understand what the problem is?
any opinions???
2007-01-30 08:20:15 · 25 answers · asked by Nicole E 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know I've heard it said that "Men who have nothing to hide...hide nothing". I think that applies here.
At 1st I was going to say that your guy, & his ex-fiance have probably moved on, & that you shouldn't be so jealous.
But then you went on & told about him hiding things from you, & that you can't even touch his cellphone, let alone look at it.
It has occurred to me that he may be keeping things from you, to avoid conflict between you & him over your jealousy.
But it also sounds like you have tried to keep an open mind until he lied to you.
So tell him that if he has nothing to hide from you, then he can become an open book & let you see his phone, & let you overhear his conversations with others on the phone, & let you know about his business.
Just remember, for every cockroach you see, there's another 50 around that you don't, so he either opens up to you, or you need to think about a relationship with a man you can trust.
2007-01-30 08:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 16:55:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being protective of his cell phone doen not mean something is going on. I still talk to my ex fiance from years ago and we are just friends. But I would not want to tell my husband every time he calls because it would make him jealous. Anyway it is usually just about someone we knew getting married or having a baby or something like that. Also, they do work together so there is reason for them to talk. Now if she is calling him alot of off days then you may want to talk to him about it before you marry him. One percent of doubt in a relationship can reuin the whole marriage. Be sure you trust him 100% before you marry him or don't marry him at all. Good luck to you!
2007-01-30 08:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by angie a 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion if he has nothing to hide then he should be able to talk to her in front of you. If this bothers you this much then you may want to consider putting off that wedding until this is either resolved or you decide you want out of this relationship. If he can not respect you enough to help fix this problem then you shouldn't be marrying him. You need to resolve this before the big day or eventually it will tear you two apart. I have been where you are and my relationship did not last. Not that yours will not but it's something to fix before you say I do!
2007-01-30 08:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it but I been there. 1- what's the deal with not letting you see his phone? 2- Doesn't talk to her in front of you. 3- You've caught him lying about her. 3 signs there must be something there. I mean he's obviously giving you reasons not to trust him. Sit down and talk to him about it, really talk to him. Ask him about maybe getting another job. He needs to understand that this is really really starting to upset you. And if he loves you and respects you (and if they really are just friends), he'll come to some sort of compromise with you. Good luck and keep your head up!
2007-01-30 08:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, i think you smell a rat, why is the phone off limits. could marring you be payback because she got married. hold off on the wedding for a few, until your real comfortable with this situation or move accross country and start over with this guy. sounds like Prince Charles and Camilia. say no to the wedding thing for now. and touch the phone. he will let you touch his thing but not his phone something weird going on there ??? hes not a wonderful man for you fi you can't quite trust him.
2007-01-30 08:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by mdbuchanan2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a big comitment..i wouldn't take this lightly. Ask him that constant phone calls need to stop...do you notice him coming home late from work bc something just "came up" do see him having a better time and less frustrated when talking to her. I mean it is a little perculular that they still talk so i would talk to your fiance and also snoop around a little- hey it's better to know now then later
2007-01-30 08:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by @@@???? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should rethink your engagement. There should be no secrets kept between the two of you. Marriage has not seemed to change her actions towards your fiance, nor his Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this man.
2007-01-30 08:31:18 · answer #8 · answered by Cheeva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I smell a rat. The protection of the phone is a sure sign that there is something going on he does not want you to know about. RUN before you get caught in a marriage dotted with affairs. It is just not worth the pain-BEEN THERE DONE THAT
2007-01-30 08:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he is lying about it it is because you have made it something he can't be comfortable with. It sounds like unless he wants to quit his job he is stuck dealing with her, and so are you. If you don't come down on him like a hammer for talking to her, then he will most likely be more honest with you. No one should be forced to cut off people from their past to be with someone new.
Keep him close, and learn to be comfortable with her. By being controlling, you might actually be driving him back to her. men aren't stupid, but they are more likely to do what they want without regard for the consequences.
But at the same time, if you REALLY don't trust him, then why would you want to marry him?
2007-01-30 08:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by Year of the Monkey 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋