My mother gave me up for adoption when I was 3 days old to my grandparents. After me she when on to have 2 other kid, in all she has 9, in which I'm da 7th one. Should i have some type of resentment against her.
2007-01-30 06:59:54 · 12 answers · asked by Brownie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, but at the same time consider yourself lucky. You probably had a way better upbringing having your grandparents as your guardians.
2007-01-30 07:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by shootingstar0212 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear the saying that you should never judge a person until you have walked a certain distance in their shoes? You know some of the facts, but I would guess, not all. Nor do you know what your mother was faced with when she gave you up for adoption. Sometimes, even the person facing and making such a decision does not fully understand why they do such life impacting decisions.
For you, the matter is an unanswered question, it seems unbelievable. It seems she did not want you for some reason. Perhaps, even though you asked her or your grandparents, they could not or would not give you a satisfactory answer. At this point you can only think "why??!"
Being "mad at someone" only hurts you. It does not solve or help anything or anyone. It eats at you till you can't think of anything else.
For one thing, anyone who has had that many children needed some help, for that is too many children to care for. It's too hard to cope with, physically and financially. That she gave you, in particular, up for adoption probably had some special reason. Why don't you try to think of yourself as special, in that you had grandparents who took you in and thought enough of you to adopt you. They should be the ones to ask your question of, if they are still alive. Otherwise, try to think of yourself as fortunate and stop dwelling on the past.
You are special. You are personally able to get on the computer to ask questions and participate in social situations, in that way, you can be your own person. Not someone who keeps asking questions about something that happened that you had no decision or part in.
Start your life anew -- now, today -- you are special, you are alive...go from there.
2007-01-30 15:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by TexasStar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can understand why you would be upset at her and it's OK to feel that way your only human, but I do believe that maybe you should ask her why and talk to her about your feelings and if she doesn't want to talk about it then you still have to respect her because she is still your mom, have you tried asking your grandmother? You should do some questioning to everyone because you deserve to know. And if you get the worst answer, then you still have to be able to love yourself enough to move on you don't need negative people in your life anyway, maybe you should find love in Christ because He is the one who will give all the answers you need and if you ask me, I think your chosen by God girl and that God really wants to use you in a mighty way things that we go through in life only makes us stronger internally and when your mom and other family members see God moving in you and in your life you'll be surprised at the change in peoples reaction towards you, take it from me I had to go through something somewhat similar to you and I couldn't be better in entire being so heads up girl do what you have to do but keep your head up
2007-01-30 15:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by Lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that you should necessarily be mad at her you have a right to feel a bit hurt.I think you need to talk to your mom and found out exactly what her reasons were for her giving you to your grandparents for adoption.At the time it may have been the best for you.Give your mom a fair chance to explain why she did it and go from there.
2007-01-30 15:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do stupid things. Looks like your mom did her share by having more kids after giving you up. Personally I would have some resentment. But focus your energy on more positive things, and learn from her mistakes.
2007-01-30 15:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by bluesbreaker65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen if you're asking then you obviously do. I would talk to her if you have that much hatered for her. If you dont want to talk to her- then at least write down in a letter and tell her how it made you feel. You'll get out alot of frustration that way.
2007-01-30 15:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by midwestgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because you don't know the circumstances she was in. She probably did the best thing for you to be sure you were safe and secure and would be raised with love.
2007-01-30 15:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant tell you how to feel towards her. You need to have time to talk to her about why she made the decisions she did.
2007-01-30 15:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt.
when you are angry it only hurts YOU.
now she gave you life... and your life is precious.
She loved you enough to want better for you than she could give.
She could have aborted you.
If you ever see her THANK her for giving you life.
Dont hate anybody, hate only hurts YOU.
get some counseling, maybe.....
2007-01-30 15:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jillary von Hämsterviel™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. YOu are probably better off than you would've been with your mother.
2007-01-30 15:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by CL R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋