Shyness & confidence?

Question

Im a teenager, and i think i suffer from shyness, and want to know how to get rid of it and any tips u hav. Its not that bad; but it does affect me in some ways. I want to be more confident, so that i can start conversation with anyone, that i dont really know to get to know them better. However, normally i am too shy, and not confident enough to do it! I wish i was more confident to be able to talk to anyone, but i think i worry to much how ill sound etc. how can u talk ur mind more easily? and how can u start a conversation better? My life is pretty cool at the moment, however, i feel i just need to be more assertive and confident, and push myself more, so that i dont feel im losing out to others. Sometimes i feel confident, but other times im not so much, i.e.phoning up someone i dont know? How can u just not care how you'll look? Im sure you all have some tips, and i really wANT to improve, so say whatever. Thank u very much for all ur views!I think a few changes may work a miracle

Answer 1

Shyness is a really hard thing to deal with and 'm not sure it is something you can ever really get over. I am a mother of 4 and hold a responsible position but still find myself getting tongue tied and blushing! The important things I try to remember are my views are valid and important, It doesn't matter what other people think just your opinion. I remember feeling really flustered once and like I'd made a real prat of myself but the person I was speaking to said 'i don't know how you stay so calm', so you are probably doing a lot better than you think. Also try to think what have I got to lose? Answer: nothing If you don't ask you don't get so you may as well try. It sounds like you are doing all the right things so just keep at it, and (sorry) but a lot of confidence does come with age, I think you'll be fine. Good luck

Answer 2

hi all i can do is tell you a bit about my story and maybe that will help you a bit like you i was very shy and every time i was spoken too i always blushed terribly if anyone at school or college was asked to speak first about a story they had etc etc i would always be the last to put up my hand and spend the next 45 Min's or so worrying about when it would be my turn to either read or answer a question i took hold on what i had to do and it meant going first IE reading first or volunteering for something maybe like a role play or something yes it was hard to do but i was glad i had done it it was over and done with and i was not the one sitting there worrying that i was next and as time went by it got a little easier each time.As for talking on the phone rem that the person can not see you so don't worry so what if you get a little tongue tied laugh it off and they will with you and as for starting conversation just smile at first a smile can work miracles and lead to bigger better things i hope in some way that this has helped because now I'm a beauty therapist and i work with the public everyday and I've never looked back since good luck with all of this and i hope you find this a little helpful x

Answer 3

maybe take some pressure off yourself. Mostly it's a consequence of being a teenager & sensitive.All the stuff that goes on in you when you're that age.It does settle down and even if you didnt even try to change you will sort of grow out of it just being involved and absorbed in normal life stuff.You will probably always be sensitive to other people which is good & is what can ease things just now.. enabling you to be more aware of them & so less aware of you & your shyness.Sounds like you've already had good advice & doing all the right things - just need to worry less about it. I personally find it a very appealing trait(in other people!) especially when you can see they are still making the effort.If i have to do something nerve wracking sometimes i try to imagine the very worst or most embarrassing thing that could happen.Also it helped a lot when i became aware that other people feel just as scared & insecure but disguised it, you'll learn to recognise the signs.anyway. Have Fun..

Answer 4

Well you have already taken the first step... you want to change...... I think the best way to get over shyness is to try not to think when you meet people... I find that when I over analyze what another person thinks of me I usually act weird. When I feel the worse about myself that's when I'm most out going... B/c i want to prove to myself that theres nothing wrong with me. Don't let your insecurities get the best of you b/c you're your own worse critic....

the best way to start a convo with someone is to say Hey, whats up.... My name is So and So.....and then comment about what's going on around you.

Say you're in line to check out at a store... and it's taking forever.... Say Hey to the people next to you and comment on how long its taking.... then make a comment about what they bought...... simple things like that help cure shyness..... and I know you've always been taught to not talk to stranger.... but you really should b/c a brief conversation doesnt expose your whole private life and helps you become comfortable talking to people.....

OH and if it makes you feel any better... the other person you're talking to probably is just as insecure as you are...

Answer 5

* STEP 1: Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.

* STEP 2: Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.

* STEP 3: Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.

* STEP 4: Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.

* STEP 5: Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.

* STEP 6: Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.

* STEP 7: Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.

Answer 6

the key in gaining confidence is having self worth. You need to discover what you're good at and develop that talent.

Take up some hobby that involves learning - perhaps dance or singing or may be writing. If u feel u r learning at a good speed or doing well in it, pursue it further till u feel good. If ytou don't enjoy it or aren't doing well despite several efforts over at least 4-6 months, try something else till you discover what it is.

People can be cruel so don't rely on positive reinforcement. also don't rely on winning prizes.

However, once u find out ur good in something, you will feel better about yourself.

If you go for dance lessons or choir practice (just as an example) - you'll make more friends who share similar interests. Your social circle will increase...and you'll feel better about your social skills as well....Public speaking or acting classes may help too

It's time u came out of urself and discovered yourself...

Its important that you don't lie to urself.....accept the feelings you have, accept your drawbacks and try to minimise them, accept your fortes and strengthen them.....

Finally, look in the mirror at yourself every morning and night and say to yourself "I like myself. l'm a beautiful and confident person. "

go out there, meet new people, do new things... you'll be fine

Answer 7

Tina , most people when they are teenagers are shy. As you get older and get a job you will find because you are mixing with more people your shy-ness will fade a bit. I used to be very shy as well i used to blush whenever someone spoke to me. Now nobody can keep me quiet and i am sure some people run away when they see me coming all i do is talk talk talk.
If there is someone you want to talk to, go up to them and maybe tell them you like the colour of their hair, their clothes etc. That is a good way to start a conversation with some girls, they will find it flattering and you will start talking. I wish you joy, it is a pleasure to see there are still some normal girls out there who are not forward , rude and swear. Good luck to you. :))

Answer 8

they are not continually the same! i'm ill of folk making that assumption. Shyness now and back consequences from the brains could evaluate a challenge for risk-free practices and unstated rules. Shyness is likewise brought about by not having sufficient social reports on your existence. while you at the instant are not used to talking to human beings, needless to say it is going to likely be harder. it incredibly is like a loss of social skills. particular, shyness could be brought about by lack of self assurance, yet that should not be the assumption authentic of the bat. Assuming that that's what it incredibly is while there are various different motives for shyness merely makes you look ignorant. to respond to the unique question, it merely relies upon on the guy. different everybody is shy for various motives.

Answer 9

could try acting/ drama evening classes - good for confidence building and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. Good luck and don't let it hinder your life - I'm 30 and suffer from a lack of confidence, nip it in the bud now and don't let it escalate in your mind, and remember a lot of people don't feel confident, they've just mastered the art of appearing confident

Answer 10

I gained more confidence in life by understanding people and sussing out what lifes about. You've just gotta get out there, in the thick of it. Put yourself in the situations you dont like, you'll soon find its no big deal. Good luck !