This is a girl who went with her mother to try on wedding dresses when she was 14 years old. Her every thought has been how to get a man and marry him right after college graduation. Well, she did it. Graduation is May 07 and the wedding is in August.
The friends she has are college kids with no money and jobs out of state, yet she expects them to drop their lives to attend every event, to fork over hundreds of dollars for their dresses, give her gifts at every shower and make choices of either paying rent or attending her Queen for Day ceremony.
Blinded by the TV fairytale wedding madness, how do friends get through to this girl with wedding cake frosting where her brains should be?
2007-01-30 06:44:13 · 60 answers · asked by Mimi Di 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Decline the invitation and if asked say it is too expensive and wish her a great and wonderful wedding day. Sounds as if this marriage at most will last maybe 2 years tops. I hate materialistic people. Shoot I got married at the airport chapel with a few close friends in dress shirt, tie and dress pants and I loved it. Flew off on our Honeymoon in Hawaii right after. All it is...a piece of paper that says you are married
2007-01-30 06:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by daanzig 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty common for the wedding party to pay for their own dress/tux for the ceremony. If her friends do not feel like she took their income into consideration maybe try to suggest a cheaper substitute for a dress selection or a discount website to find the same dress for a cheaper price. If she is having the bridesmaids have their dresses made it may be more expensive than it should be. Maybe a suggestion to purchase already made dresses with a similar look would be needed.
Weddings are expensive and some can be a little overly silly about the whole experience but her friends have a choice to attend the wedding or not. They are not forced to do anything they can't afford or even to skip rent to attend the wedding. You can also make attending the wedding the gift to the couple instead of feeling like you have to purchase a gift along with paying for the trip. But if you do not attend the wedding it is understood to send a gift. As for bridal showers you do not have to spend a ton of money on a present. Buy something inexpensive and you should only need to attend one shower not every one of them.
2007-01-30 06:56:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jayne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been a bridesmaid in two weddings and have paid for my dress both times. I bought my own shoes and jewelry as well. The brides paid to have everyone's hair done the day of the wedding. I attended all the showers and such, and was just happy to be a part of it. Now, I could afford it. I have a pretty good job and all. If you can't afford it, then just tell her so. Maybe she would help you out. If not, then just go as a guest. It isn't that big of a deal. I'm getting married this year, and my bridesmaids are paying for their dresses. I'm helping one out that doesn't have alot of money, but I don't think it's bad to ask them to pay for their own dresses if they want to be in the wedding.
2007-01-30 11:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by benjis.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very honest with her. My oldest daughter was in that same situation. She was expected to purchase all clothing and fly to Michigan 1 week ahead of the wedding to attend showers and a tea. She would have had a weeks motel on top of getting there. She finally told her friend she could not afford the 2,300.00 it was going to cost her. She, too, was an college student and I would have helped her but I was furious with the mother of this girl for allowing her to be this selfish. The girl understood my daughter's position and every other bridesmaids. She finally changed her mind and made it much easier on the girls. (Although mine didn't attend or be in the wedding.)
2007-01-30 09:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes age has nothing do with it. I had a friend who was 30 and did this for her second marriage!!! I had a huge fight with her because I couldn't afford a shower, dress and gifts for her second marriage- I was in the middle of buying a house. I told her straight up I didn't have the money and she threw a fit. She told me I wasn't even going to be in the invited to the wedding and never to talk to her again.
Sometimes you just get to a point in your life that your realize you don't want the same things and you out grow them. Sounds like you are there. Just ignore her and tell her thanks but No Thanks.
Your not going to be able to change her or get it through her thick head that it's too much to ask.
2007-01-30 07:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be funny if nobody other than close relatives show up to this bullcrap excuse for a wedding. I always give a gift of somekind when attending a wedding, be it money or something else, but to have the bride or groom demand it of me is the same as asking me to not show up because I won't tolerate such arrogance. This wedding will be a total flop and I would love to read about it in the tabloids.
2007-01-30 06:54:19 · answer #6 · answered by shlangemann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has anyone tried to sit down with her and have a talk? Being a bride is a very special thing but you do need to consider other peoples feelings and finances. If talking to her directly is out of the question, perhaps a call to her mother or fiance would be in line? I know that I've been married for a long time (25 years) but I very clearly remember having to take into consideration my bridesmaid's finances and tastes when picking dresses etc. Good luck.
2007-01-30 06:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let her know that you can't afford it, and that an overly glamorous wedding doesn't make it great... you can have diamonds lining the aisles or stones at an outside park... when 2 people truely love each other, the amount of money that goes into the wedding shouldn't matter whether they break themselves with an overdone wedding or they keep a low budget and make the best of it, they are celebrating their love all the same. i know it's the brides day to shine but at the same time there's something more important involved: 2 people becoming 1. sounds like she just needs to be reminded that money doesn't make a wedding, its the love between the 2 hearts that makes it a wedding
2007-01-30 06:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if you accept the invitation to be in a wedding, you accept the fincial responsibility that goes along with it.
I was MOH at my best friends wedding this past summer, but for a year and a half before hand I was at her beck and call, and I was glad to do it. I had no problem with surrendering money for dresses and gifts and time for fittings, meetings, or just freak outs on the phone.
If you cant handle her demands for her special day then tell her so she can replace you.
Just remember someday you too will be a bride and you will then understand why a certain color of pink is the most important thing one day and the next day you have moved onto a limo that's horn plays "Here comes the bride". This will all make sense to you once you get that diamond on your finger.
2007-01-30 07:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Every bride I know, including this one, consults an etiquette book before planning a wedding. Bridesmaids do pay for their own dresses. They also host a luncheon for the bride. If more showers are planned by other friends, it is nice of the attendants to attend but etiquette does not dictate that. There that's it. If the bride is expecting more from her attendants, then each of you should pitch in a dollar and buy her that book. Sounds to me like this bride is in love with a wedding but not necessarily the marriage that follows.
2007-01-30 07:10:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋