It really upsets me how whenever I confront my boyfriend about an issue, he gives me lame, untruthful excuses to support his argument. His main objective is to win the argument, not resolve it. How can I get him to stop doing this? What could have been a minor disagreement always blows up into an intense fight. I get even more upset when I know he's lying to me.
2007-01-30 06:23:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When he lies to you about simple things the anxiety you feel is that he can also lie about bigger things. It is very hard to get someone that lies about the small stuff to see how this affects their reliability to others. It mostly starts as a young child when we first learned at a young age, that if we say the truth we get into trouble, so it is better to lie about it. It takes intense therapy to chang this way of thinking in anyone. I can understand how frustrating this can be for you. I have left a prior relationship because of this. Lieing, no matter how small the lie, can eventually build a wall between two people. For with true intimacy their cannot be lies, or the relationship is superficial. Beleive me when I tell you, it is almost impossible for him to see the benefits of telling the truth. Hopefully he can get into some kind of therapy and get the help he truly needs, because if not, he will always have this problem in all relationships past or future. My best to you!
2007-01-30 08:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing, you can't make anyone do anything they really don't want to, you can't change them, they have to want to. When you say boyfriend does not know how to argue that says that he does not do it. But reading further it says he gives you lame answers and what should be a normal discussion turns into a all out war. So he does know how to argue, just does not think or feel the way you do and handles things differantly. I really don't think anyone is wrong or right in most agruements, it is just a difference of opinion and how you were raised and how you deal with things. Always try to hear and understand each others point of view, this does not mean you don't have your own it just means you'll do anything to make things work out. Also do you know for sure he is lying or do you just think he is?
2007-01-30 06:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by lost angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
until you're going thoroughly out of your thank you to maintain from arguing (ie, protecting your tongue on an significant concern) then no, it fairly is not weird and wonderful. i don't argue with my boyfriend of what, fifteen months? i are transforming into moody around him and each thing, yet we've by no skill actual argued. reported issues definite, yet without the enormously charged thoughts. it fairly is extra effective in case you may communicate freely than argue.
2016-12-13 04:37:07 · answer #3 · answered by trip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that your boyfriend may be hiding something. If you believe your boyfriends main objection is winning. Then you've already answered your own question. He's doesn't really care about how or what your feeling about any issue. This is very imature behavior and you should let him know what your needs are from this relationship and if he is not willinging to comply then I think you should rethink your relationship with him on this level. Secondly, trust is one of the main factors that bonds a relationship and move it to the next level. If you know he is lying and he is not mature enough to be accountable for it than he using your emotions for his convenience. Think about it...he should want you to be happy at all cost...him love you as himself as you loving him as you love yourself. The word love is used too frequently without any ownship to it.
My love that I have in my life is my heart beat and every breath I take. Even though we are away from each other due to his business...my happiness is because we both respect, trust, and desire for one another to be happy. For example, I don't need to tell how I'm feeling whether it sad, frustrated, happy, *****, exhausted, confused, etc...he knows and know what to say...even if it's just silence and nothing is said at the moment he knowledge my feelings just because it's my feelings. I love him and his heart, spirit just because.... We're not perfect and do not claim to be. But we truly care for one another mind,spirit, body and aspirations in life....Good luck.
2007-01-30 07:07:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is being untruthful in even small things, I'd seriously question his feelings for you.
2007-01-30 06:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by Sal D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You'll be doing him a huge favor. He's probably tired of hearing you and opinons so he gives you these types of answers so you'll shut up and leave him alone.
2007-01-30 06:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by Eldude 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yell at him or act ur all mad
2007-01-30 11:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by sportsforlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋