I am a young(early 30s) widow who is remarrying. Do I invite my late husband's parents and siblings?

Question

I have a decent relationship with my late husband's siblings. Closer now then before. My relationship with his mom especially is 'strained' since his death. She has never made me feel that she aknowledged mine and my children's loss because 'he was her son'. My Fiance is accepting of them and I think they are trying to accept him but in the beginning my late husband's mother was pretty upset about me even dating. It has been over 4 years since my husband died. I have 2 small children. I am afraid she will make a scene or the focus will go to her(being sad) on my wedding day.

Answer 1

I think you should invite them, and include them in your plans. Just because your husband is deceased doesn't mean that you need to cut his parents out of your life, especially when it will affect their grandchildren. I think it would be a great opportunity to make amends, and to show them that the kids' new stepfather will take good care of them, etc. Your in-laws would want to know that their grandkids are well cared for and loved by the new father figure in their lives, and also be reminded that their father's family is still very much a part of their lives. If you get along with your husband's siblings, try talking to them first before sending the invites out.

Answer 2

First I am sorry for your loss. As well as your MiL. I know the pain a mother goes through losing a son.
As unfair as it seems, I'm sure she is so wrapped up in her own grief that is has been hard for her to acknowledge your grief. Try to cut her a bit of slack.

You have two children by this woman's child therfore you will always have some ties with this family. And it sounds to me that you aren't wanting to sever those ties; and that your fiance understands this and is still willing to take on this responsibility. My hat off to this man!

As far as Mom inlaw, talk with her. Tell her you sympathize for her loss; but you & your children suffer a great loss to. And though she feels that her son should have a shrine erected in his honor (not really) you feel it's time to go on with your life. You are not trying to eradicate the memory of this son, husband & father but give your children an opportunity to a normal life. It is best for you & for your children.
Tell her you would like her blessing but whether she gives it or not, this is a decison you have made; this is the man you are going to marry.
Tell her she is welcome to come. But don't be surprised or hurt if she doesn't.
Speak to the siblings. Invite them to help you celebrate.

Ps. Though the books tell a person how grief is suppose to be, well, it affects each person differently. When a parent loses a child, it takes them an average of about 7 years to actually get a handle on it and see there is life yet to be lived. But it is an extremely hard, uphill climb.

Answer 3

First congrats! I think it's wonderful to find another love after losing someone so close. I think the first step is to talk face to face with the mother. I know this sounds hard but sometimes we must suck that up. If you are pretty close to the siblings then they will understand that no one will EVER take your late husband's place but that there is a point that you must move on and be happy again. After talking with each then make it known that you want to invite them but you don't want to "step on toes" in the process. I think once things are said and done, everyone will understand and respect the wishes and even come to the wedding... good luck and sorry for your loss! God bless

Answer 4

for my section, there isn't something incorrect with inviting them to the marriage. i think of the kin that have been supportive of your new husband to be could be invited. in spite of the undeniable fact that dying is usually a tragic element, yet possibly inviting people who heavily isn't harm by you remarrying could heal some wounds and be conscious of which you're shifting on on your existence, despite if it reflects the previous with them being recent. merely be conscious of that not all will agree, some could never comprehend. yet in the tip it incredibly is what's on your heart that concerns maximum.

Answer 5

I think you should invite them too.....that way you won't feel badly for not including them and you are offering the olive branch....having to bury a child is probably more of a loss than having to bury a husband....but that's coming from someone who is a mom and with you having children, you can probably understand that.

Answer 6

There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question. However you feel in your heart is the right answer. If your mother in law is going to make you uncomfortable and you are not close then I don't feel you should have to invite her. Good luck and I hope u enjoy your special day it goes by really fast!

Answer 7

I wouldnt.