Questions about marriage for Christians only..?

Question

I don't want to be rude, but if you aren't a christian or don't know anything about the bible, then this question isn't for you. i only want serious answers.

What does the bible say about marriage? Must a couple have the parents blessing before they can get married (i know it's recommended, but is it a sin to get married and not have the parents blessing?) What about living with someone before you get married? Is that a sin too (again, i know sex before marriage is a sin, but what about living together without having sex?) Please provide verses also! Thanks so much for the help!

Answer 1

Your parents' blessing? Well, I do believe the "honor thy mother and thy father" part is all that really pertains to such. (That I know of, at least.) I think you should really pray hard about that and seek God on that part.

Living together? Well, I don't think it is necesarily a sin. The first thing that comes to mind, though, is the woman at the well. (John Ch. 4)

Verse 16 Jesus saith unto her, "Go, call thy husband, and come hither."

17 The woman answered and said, "I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, "Thou hast well said, "I have no husband."

18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that thou hast said truly.

It also goes back to the, "Don't let your good be spoken evil of.'

As far as the sex part, I feel that it is human nature to be attracted that way to one another. Especially if you are in love. It truly doesn't look good to be living with one another until marriage. And you are going to increase the odds that you may give into sexual temptations if spending all day / night with one another. I would find an alternative to the situation until I could decided if I wanted to spend my forever with this guy or not. It's not worth the chance of disappointing God. Good luck. I know that life isn't ever easy, but if you chose the righteous path, you'll always find grace in the eyes of Him that matters.

Answer 2

There are a few issues you bring up here, and each can be answered with three areas: Tradition ~ Good idea ~ Sin.

Must the couple have the parents blessing?
1) Tradition says yes, as marriage used to be the parrents bartering the son/daughter. The son/daughter had no say. Now, tradition has evolved that the parents give their blessing.
2) Good Idea - Your intended-spouse will be joining your family. Thus, it is a very good idea that you get your parents and his parents to endorse the wedding. Plus, wedding ceremonies are expensive. Might need their help to have a nice ceremony.
3) It is not an expressed sin to be married without the parent's blessing. If your parents forbid it, though, you are in danger of breaking Commandment #4 - honor your father and mother.

Living with someone before marriage:
1) Tradition says no. Obviously living with someone does not mean sex...but it looks that way from those who do not know any better. Your reputation could be on the line. Plus, it is HARD to abstain from sex if you live together, alone.
2) Good idea - Having any roommate can solve money problems, such as rent (only paying half is good), other bills, and groceries. Feeding two people is almost as cheap as feeding one. However, if your family or his is against this, it could sour the relationship.
3) Is it a sin? No. If you remain pure (no sex or lust), it is no sin. It has a high rate of leading to sin, but it is no sin itself.


More on marriage:
All couples end up fighting, now and then.
If your parents like him, and you fight, they may try to calm you down and reason with you. They will tell you what a good guy he is, and try to help you work it out.
If you parents hate him, then when you fight the comments will be things like "I told you so, he's no good for you," or "why not just get a divorce and be done with the bum?"

I see marriage as a one-time thing, and divorce as not possible (my opinion). Thus, I would suggest you not get married on the fly, but take some time to get to know him, and his family. Ensure his family likes you, and yours likes him. Good family bonds make great relationships.

Answer 3

This is not a one liine answer. Lets deal with living together first. I do not believe it is pshychologially possible to live together and not become involved in sex unless you both wear chasitiy belts and give someone else not living there the key. Even if you could, the appearance will convict you with the human population. If it doesn't look ethical then stay away from it, because it will poison you even if you don't eat. People who are in fact commited Christians fail at that level. So, since the bible advises sex before marriage is sin then I believe you need to stay away from the temptations that will take over if you live together. As far as Parental blessing:: "Honor thy Father and Thy Mother". This is a very important part of biblical teaching. Why would God want that? They have the experience you do not. Even if they are not Christian, perhaps they know the downfalls of certain areas you need to learn about. You must understand that you will become part of each others family whether it is blessed by mom and dad or not. Your future family will link itself to the grandparents. Your future family get togethers will be affected. You must find the cause of the parents not wanting the marriage. Perhaps they are correct? Talk to them and find out their problems. Otherwise it could fester after the marriage and become ugly. The blessing comes from God when you obey his commands. Make no mistake they are tough, but living by his Grace its makes it easier to shape your lives toward what God wants it to be. You cannot pick and chose the rules you want to obey. You will break them constantly. His Grace comes from your belief in Christ who died and rose again from the dead cleansing believers of their sin. That does not mean its ok to sin, but that you life will reflect your belief and you will make decisions based on his guidlines. If you are living together now, perhaps thats what Mom and Dad don't like. The most important thing is respecting your elders. That is dissappearing these days and that is unbiblical. Good luck and may God lead you in the direction you need to go.

Answer 4

1 Corinthians 7 seems to suggest that you can marry anyone you like, as long as he is a Christian. Marrying a non-Christian seems to be a sin.

I was not aware of any specific verse that requires you to get a parent's blessing.

The Bible says that you are to avoid the very appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22), and it appears that living together will give other people the impression that you are sinning, even if you are not, so I assume that it is wrong to do so. You don't want to give other people the impression that you, and therefore all Christians by association, are hypocrites -- and you do not want to tempt people to gossip.

Answer 5

There is no specific verse on needing parental permission. However, if you are "young", and have good parents whose judgement you trust, I would seek their approval. There is often wisdom in their words, and their vision is nor clouded by "love". It is not a "sin" to marry without their apporval (but often stupid).

As far as living together, that one is easy. "Flee youthful lust" - 2 Timothy 2:22 and 1 Thessalonians 5:22 "Abstain from the appearance of evil". No young couple "in love" is going to be able to live in the same house, unsupervised, sleeping near each other, and NOT eventual end up having sex to together. You are to avoid putting yourself in situations like that were lust and temptation is self-induced. "Flee" from that.

BUT even if you could keep your hands off each other, living in the same house gives the appearance of evil. It looks like you are sleeping together. And might give other couples who won't keep their hands off each other an excuse to do the same thing - and cause them to sin. Paul says that while we might be strong enough to do certain "questionable" things, we are NOT free to do things that will led others to fall into sin. So it would be wrong.

Answer 6

First, you don't have to be a Christian to know what the bible says or be married for that matter.

Second, living together will eventually mean sharing a bed together. You can't live with someone you are sexually attracted to and NEVER have sex. Please think realistically!

And third, the bible refers to parental respect as part of the 10 commandments. With any religion you should always keep your parents a part of all your custom and traditions. Don't you want your family to be at the wedding and a part of you and your future family's lives?

Stop worrying so much about "sin" and think about your relationships with your parents.

Answer 7

I have a somewhat different view on this than most First fellow christian s dont get me wrong i believe in marriage wich should be aa life time commitmant between two loving people !The bible however sya nothing about licences or civil ceremonies so I am not quick to condem people for thier lifestyles !

Answer 8

living with eachother before marriage is not a sin. i have yet to have read a verse that says that. and as far as i know getting parents blessing before marriage is not a commandment.

it does say honor thy mother and father. so if it dishonors them to not get their blessing then i can see how it would be deemed sinful.

Answer 9

There are not specific verses to what you are speaking of.

Ephesians 5, says there should not be a hint of sexual immorality in your life. To me, living together would be a hint.

Secondly, you do not have to have your parent's blessings. Though be sure to listen to them carefully, especially fi they are Christinas. You are allowed to make decisions on your own.