On Friday at 11pm my fiance told me he had to go back to work. Usually he asks me if I want to go with him but this night he didn't. I found it strange Now he called me at around 3 am telling me he was almost done thats when I got suspicious so I checked his messages to his cellphone This is what I found a girl telling him to call her back because she wanted to know what he was doing that night so they can hang out Now the message was left at10:36 pm he left at 11pm She sounded really flirty I didnt mention to him about checking the message but I did argue with him and told him some one told me that he was with a girl he denied the whole thing. Now I went snooping around his cell phone and I found that girls phone number I just dont know if I should call her. I know shes not a co worker because I know most of his co workers and friends & I would of heard of her. Just a few months ago he told me that he cheated I didnt believe him cuz he sounded like he was joking
2007-01-30 05:44:41 · 32 answers · asked by justsexyana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well by the sounds of it he is cheating...I mean you can't be 100 percent sure but the more you ask the more carefull he will be. has he ever cheated on any of his ex's? if so then he might be likely to cheat on you. I would lay low and watch his behavior then pursue it further.
2007-01-30 05:53:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
First off, disregard the "advice" (and I use the term loosely) of getting a gym membership. Who ever said that can go to hell. Creep.
Now on to you. Look at yourself in the mirror and say this "I am too good to be cheated on. If he had any respect for me he would say 'I want to be with someone else'. I would not stoop so low as to beg him to stay. I am too good for this" Say it as many times as you need until you actually start believing it because it IS true.
You ARE too good for this kind of high school BS. He is not ready and you need not waste your time. You know the answer to your question, you just need some courage to take the bull by the horns. So here it is, all these people (minus one jerk-off) are telling you that you are too much of a good thing to waste on a man who wont appreciate you. You will be fine. The hardest part is leaving, but its also the best part because your life will finally start again.
Do not call this girl, she is not the bad one in the situation, your fiance is.
PS I would tell your parents everything and make sure when you leave to have your dad or brother there. Strength in numbers!
2007-01-30 06:20:54 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my. You shouldn't call the girl, she is only going to either deny or not speak to you b/c of defensiveness. What you need to do is sit down with your fiance and very calmly talk to him. Don't go accuse him of anything, just talk. Experience has taught me, if you think he's hiding something...he is. Always, always, always listen to that little, nagging voice that's telling you something is off-you're instincts are never wrong. I think you'll be able to figure out a lot when you discuss it with him. Also, you need to clarify what he told you about cheating a few months ago-which might be a good way to start off the conversation. If he admits to having cheated before...run. Get out fast. It's going to be painful and difficult, but if you're already questioning his trustworthiness, then a marriage would be the absolute worst thing to do. Especially, when you start adding children to the equation. Use that female intuition, although you probably already know the answer.
2007-01-30 06:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by emrobs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl a man is never going to admit to nothing... and hear what I said nothing at all unless you have some hard proof of what you are accusing him of... I would of showed him the message and demand an explanation right away and believe me he would of have to tell you who she is and what business she had leaving him that type of message so what??? Darn it if you were snooping at this day and age everyone does and do you know why?? is some deadly fire outthere called H.I.V. and if he gives you lip about snooping you can easily get out of that one by saying Im afraid of my safety and I do not want to carry a deadly infection in my veins so if snooping is going to assure me of knowing what is going on in my life so be it.... he will not be able to denied if his cheating, men are uncapable of going around the truth he is going to panic and another thing is never take the words IM CHEATING as a joke if he said something like that even in a joke way is got to be some true around there somewhere... cheating is the most common thing in relationship right now most men go outthere in search of stuff that they thinking they are missing in their relationship.. my advice to you is confront him with the proof and make him confess and after that you have to make the choice of wether or not you feel like puttin up with his crab for the rest of your life FOREVER is a long time and even longer when you are not happy. about callin the girl you could do that if he continue to denied or refused to tell you who she is and maybe she will have more "PANTS" than him and tell you the truth.. good luck.
2007-01-30 06:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call her. Your problem (If any) is with your fiance. He sounds like he is open most of the time, taking you to work and you knowing his work co workers. Just sit down and have a serious chat with him. Tell him what you are insecure about and that you need reassurance. You might find it's all in you head (Normally is with me) If however he has cheated on you beat him around the head with a frying pan, do not delay. When you go to court you can say it was in the heat of the moment and get away with it.
2007-01-30 05:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Aleena W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is between you & your fiance, not this other woman. At least not yet. It is not her fault. She is a victim as well, only she can't see that.
You need to confront your fiance & find out the truth. Then you need to make some decisions from there. Can you forgive him if there was an indiscretion? There is many a truth spoken in jest. That may have been his way of confessing.
Now if he did cheat and it was a poor case of judgement (& I'm not condoning or making excuses; but it does happen) WHY is he still in contact with this person?
You need to find out.
Postpone the wedding. Seek counselling.
2007-01-30 06:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are deciding to leave him then no, don't waste your time, but if for some reason you need more proof than what you got, which I think is enough, then yes. but don't call her to argue with her, because the thing is you are in a relationship with your (ex) man not her, she has no responsiblity to you other than being a decent human being, which she may have not known he was even with you. I say leave and don't look back! You are worth more than his lies but for now, you need to clear your head...and if (which should be a weak if) you decide to give him another chance make sure he has proven to you beyond a reasonable doubt that he will not cheat, and if he is not willing to abide by your rules, then move on. Pleassssse because this man will only cause you much headaches.
2007-01-30 06:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by miriamadamswashington_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU SAID: "Just a few months ago HE TOLD ME THAT HE CHEATED I didn't believe him cuz he sounded like he was joking"
I think you have ALL the information you need in that one sentence. And THAT guy, the one who cheated on you and TOLD YOU HE DID...that is the same guy who is STILL CHEATING on you and apparently he either thinks you are "cool" with this arrangement or you are too dumb to catch on to his obnoxious and infantile behavior.
If you want to end the whole thing with a bang, use his cellphone and text message the girl to meet "you" at your house at a set time and date and make sure your boyfriend will be home then.
When the girl shows up at the door, invite her in and ask the two of them to explain what the F&*^ is going on.
At the end of this meeting you will either have a fiance or you will have your life back BEFORE you marry someone who WILL...I repeat WILL cheat on you AFTER you are married.
2007-01-30 06:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holla at him! What he's doing is wrong and you need to talk to him about it. Just the fact that there are women leaving messages on his phone and he's not telling you about it raises a big ol' red flag! He probably wasn't joking when he told you he cheated. And it probably hurt his feelings that you didn't believe him. He may feel like you dont feel like he could cheat even if he wanted to ... so now he's showing you up. Move on from this guy ... he doesn't deserve to be engaged right now. He's not ready! Good Luck!!!
2007-01-30 05:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him....you don't need to be dating or engaged to someone like that.
One thing that I have learned is....if you have to constantly be worrying about someone cheating or going through their phone to check up on them, then don't be with them. You are wasting your time and driving yourself crazy in the mean time.
If you have to have some closure, then call the girl. But keep in mind she may have a boyfriend too and may not tell you the whole truth so that she doesn't get into trouble either.
Good luck...be strong and smart and MOVE ON.
2007-01-30 05:51:37 · answer #10 · answered by CPA2B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All learning is the advancement of knowledge and therefor good. But if you would rather remain ignorant/innocent, that is your choice. Free will.
If you do call, think hard about what you would say, refining your questions before you even make the call. Don't just call and accuse. Or set up a honeypot of some kind. Good luck.
2007-01-30 06:29:38 · answer #11 · answered by Wubi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋