Okey so I've been faking hte big "O". But there are times I c**. My boyfriend and I jsut had this casual talk about our s** life and I had the opportunity of telling him casually what didnt work... I found him too stiff and tried to maneuver him to being more flexible in bed he was just plain stiff. Well after the talk he did improve but I noticed he asked more if I came and whatever my answer was, he just doubted me. I feel bad because sometimes I feel he's pleasing me too hard.
2007-01-30 05:41:17 · 18 answers · asked by Stefani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey none of us come with instruction manuals and if we don't tell each other what we like and what gets us off nobody is going to be happy. If you told him to help then you did right but if you told him to hurt or insult him that was wrong. Now that you've tried to tell him what you want try to find out what it is that he likes and might not be getting enough of and then meet him halfway.
2007-01-30 05:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Barb S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say it was wrong that you told him that you had been faking - just not the best way to go about it. As a result, he doesn't believe when you tell him you did reach the big O. It was a good idea to tell him what you didn't like in bed and other suggestions but I would recommend doing that same type of instruction actually 'in bed'..some hands on involvment, if you will, until it gets better. Finally, when you do come...make it 100% clear that you did...and don't fake it when it doesn't work out.
2007-01-30 05:49:43 · answer #2 · answered by jerk19magnet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it was good that you told him. I think it;s wrong and stupid to lie and fake it. Continue to be honest with him, and help him be honest with you about the sex. Ask him if your doing well in bed as well. But make sure he doesn't say something bad out of spite.
Communication is key. Sounds like his feelings about the sex and how well or not he's doing is hurt. Maybe he's doubting you now because he's heard how so many other women fake it. Maybe he's hurt because you DID fake it, and since you lied in bed before, he's not sure what to believe anymore.
His goal is to please you, and he can't do that unless your both communicating. Not, he does all the work and you pretend. So now, you have to nurture the idea that you are now being honest and always will be in bed with him in order for him to trust you again.
2007-01-30 05:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's more of a problem that you have been faking it. You do know that s@x can be fun and satisfying for both parties, don't you? I, personally enjoy it when I know the woman is enjoying what I'm doing. But if I'm not pleasing her, I'd rather she tell me or show me what she wants and needs. Having some woman laying under me faking an orgasm "just so I can get off" is a complete turn off. I'd like to watch a woman please herself as she's starring me in the eyes and explaining to me what it does for her. That would be beneficial for both of us. Why don't you try that?
2007-01-30 05:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, when you faked it, you lied. You lied to the guy yo are being most intimate with. Best route to recovery - sit him down again and tell him you are sorry you deceived him. Let him know that you will never fake an orgasm again. Also let him know what the most important part of sex is for you. Is it orgasm, or is it being that close to him. Is it pleasruing him, or both of you exploring each other. Might be kind of awkward to start the conversation, but maybe you can finish it with the kind of sex you are dreaming of.
2007-01-30 05:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by Terence F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Its extremely necessary to have these kinds of talks in a relationship. Give him assurance that he does the right thing, and promise not to fake it anymore. I promised myself a LONG time ago when sex was NEVER appealing that I would not fake it EVER. I think because I dont, guys work harder for me, WHICH I APPRECIATE. So these conversations are good. Keep it up.
2007-01-30 05:46:23 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course you should of told the truth now have another talk with him about enjoying himself and let your pleasure wait! Ask him why is your pleasure more important to him then his own? Basically you are doing right by talking and not faking congrats
2007-01-30 05:47:09 · answer #7 · answered by jaws 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at least it is a step in the right direction. Now you 2 can have an open relationship where you can talk about these type of things. I think that is important in a relationship -open honesty.
2007-01-30 05:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by DeeLicious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What? If you're saying what I think you're saying, why would you tell him? Are you out to emasculate him? There are persuasive ways to get what you want without making him feel inadequate. Besides, most of your orgasm is in YOUR control. Don't blame him if you can't get it all the time.
2007-01-30 05:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i had the balls to do this! Rock on girl! dont feel bad for expressing what you need from your man! Most of us care too much about how they feel to even mention that kind of thing. but you totally did the right thing and it doesnt' mean you care any less for him ... you're just trying to get your orgasm on just like the rest of us! YOU ROCK!!!!
Your number 1 fan,
Me:)
2007-01-30 05:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋