My husband and I are thinking about habing a baby soon. I am having trouble deciding what kind of mom I want to be. I mean, on one side I want to be the stay at home mom and walk my kids to school and play with them and all. And on the other side I want to own my own business and be a photographer. What do you think?? Is there an in between? Which is better??
2007-01-30 05:12:46 · 32 answers · asked by Michelle 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
"Be a mom" looky here. I haven't a "mom" before. I need to know. Umm... when I'm a new mom can i do everything? And when they are in school can I do all of that?
2007-01-30 05:18:33 · update #1
sorry I meant I haven't BEEN a mom before.
2007-01-30 05:18:58 · update #2
ok to start out, work part time after the baby is about 3 months old, but your going to have to have someone you trust to baby-sit. when the child is in school, that time is yours! I prefer to stay at home with my child. As long as you are prepared to juggle baby and work it is fine, but if it starts to get stress-full, then stop working!
2007-01-30 05:22:23 · answer #1 · answered by angelgrl5200 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You can do whatever you want. Take a short few months break from the work scene to really bond, enjoy and have fun with your new baby first though! You have to get used to the being a mom mentality first.
Run your business from home. A lot of people do it, and while it might be tricky you will absolutely enjoy the flexibility you have. Once your little one gets older you could get a chance to expand to office space - 90% of kids ADORE daycare because they have fun, field trips and make a lot new friends. Never feel bad about daycare!
I stayed at home for the first 6 months with my youngest daughter. Then I went to school for 2 years, and had my second when I graduated. I was a single mom, and no it wasn't easy - but the kids had a BLAST! I've had weird jobs, but now am settled in in my lovely job with lovely hours, and go to uni part time on the side of my full time job. I make the time to coach sports teams, drive the kids around, host sleepovers, etc etc, etc.
You can decide how "hard core" you want to be as they get older. Right now remember you can do ANYTHING you want to. Especially with a supportive husband :P Just DO NOT think that there is only black and white. Staying home might be lovely, but you will get bored once they get into school/sports. Working full time from home is awesome, BUT the balance is hard between their needs, work needs, and sleeping [hahaha]. Make sure that however it ends up you're happy, and so is the rest of your family. Misery breeds misery and all that!
2007-01-30 05:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a great question. Sometimes finances play a large part in whether you can stay home or not with your children. I chose to stay home and raise our children. I didn't want someone elses ideals and moral values being imposed on our children 8 to 9 hours a day. We lived on a lot less as a result. I did do some part time work in the evenings but it was very limited hours. It didn't add a lot. We ended up getting a divorce and he had moved on with a career and I was suddenly 38 and nothing behind me to fall back on. Our children at this point are 10 and 14. I went back to college but that was hard to juggle. I did go to work in a good job 2 years later but I was laid off. So, now I'm looking again. It's been a struggle. Would I change anything looking back? No. My children are incredibly bright from hours of reading with them and working with them. They have fantastic life skills. They make solid decisions most of the time. They have excellent social skills. The oldest is an honor student and college bound. They feel a strong sense of family and love. My life is tougher and I let it serve as an example of why they need to go college and always be able to take care of themselves and never have to depend on anyone else financially. So, down the road a lot of things can happen. I think staying home is great if you can, but I would recommend college courses if you haven't already been there and somehow making sure you take care of yourself, in case it doesn't turn out as happily ever after. A long answer! Best wishes to you!
2007-01-30 05:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by Night Wind 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you decide to do after you have a baby will all depend on what you and your husband feel would be the best for your family. If you decide to be a stay-at-home mom, that would be a great decision. If you decided to work either part-time or full-time, that would be great too. You might want to decide to start your own business when your kid(s) are no longer babies.
What you choose will depend on how you feel after you have a baby or two, but there is no right or wrong decision....just the one that will work best in your situation.
2007-01-30 05:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mum to 3 cute kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do both. The perks of having your own buisness are just that, its yours. You set the pace and the hours. Set up your buisness now, have a baby in a year, you'll be established and people will understand why all of a sudden you are only open by appointment or 3 days a week. Photography is also a kinda of weekend job (weddings, etc) so you could always enlist hubby on saturday and sunday and get out there and do your thing. And your baby will have amazing pictures to remember all the milestones by! I stay home and work from home. My kids love it and i still have my career.
2007-01-30 05:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by jennfreg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do both. If you own your OWN business, you can set your own hours. I personally LOVE being a stay at home mom, and the reward is the constant compliments we get about our daughter. My husband has a job that he loves, and that still allows him plenty of family time, so I dont have to feel guilty about "not pulling my weight", as some would say. I own my own business too, and work at home in my down time. It allows me to bring in some extra money without feeling like I am missing out, neglecting my daughter, or working just to pay a babysitter. I have a sis in law who only gets to see her baby for 2 hours a day before he goes bed, and it makes me wonder "why even have kids?" Do what is right for you. It make take you a while to find your groove, but you cant know exactly what is going to work for you until you actually experience it. Just remember that once you choose to be a parent, that always comes first, even above such things as career goals. You may have to compromise on some things, but you should be able to work it out so that the life you build is right for you AND your baby.
2007-01-30 05:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
What ever you decide to do, make sure it really is what you want. Having kids can be really tricky. It's the greatest feeling in the world in, my opinion. When you do decide to have kids, it is up to you if you would like to return to work or not. It is possible to do both, but expect a lot of hard times. I went back two weeks after I had my first child, and a month after my second child. In my case I would have rather been home with them. I would have lived my dreams before hand. Once you have kids it is hard to go back and do everything you've always wanted. Not impossible, but hard. And that is the chances that every parent takes. If you are not sure, maybe think more about it and wait it out a little, before you make that choice. All the best.
2007-01-30 05:28:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
When you have your baby everything will come to you. If you want to own your own business and be a photographer that is great and the best part is you can decide on the hours. Also if you are in your own building then you could have a room set up that he/she can play in while you are with a client.
2007-01-30 05:24:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who says that you can't have the best of both worlds? This is YOUR world. LOL Seriously,...I have twins...5-years-old. I stayed home with them a bit and then tried going to nursing school. It lasted a couple of years, but then the girls told me that they missed me and I was never available to them. I made the hardest decision to stay home with them...considering they were only going to be little once. I know now that I made the right decision. I will always have time for me. But they will be bigger soon and will, at least, think they don't need me. Or, in your case, do some side work with your camera during your down time. Contrary to what people tell you, there will be some. Who ever said you can't have your cake and eat it too? Good luck. There is no better decision than a baby between 2 people that truly love each other and want to spend forever together. The baby is the missing link.
2007-01-30 05:23:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Oprah had this on her show last week...or was it Dr. Phil? Anyway...I never thought I would be a stay at home mom...and here I am, not wanting to return to work any time soon. I believe it is a personal choice and either way to raise your kids is good. It's what you want. I want to be home with my children, during, what I believe are the most important years of their lives. My career goals can wait for a few years, not forever! Or start working on your photography now and your business plan while the kids are napping! You can have it all! I thought staying at home would depress me, but rather, being here for my son is incredibly rewarding. My career can wait. I also didn't want someone else raising my son. It was a hard decision - especially financially.
2007-01-30 05:32:57 · answer #10 · answered by Mom@Home 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Depending on what you want your children to learn out of life should determine your decision. The stay-at-home mother has the advantage of maintaining consistancy and is always available for the children. The working mom usually has to depend on daycare to take care of their children while they work. This has many faults due to how different people are. Morals and values are learned at home. Children in daycare are at risk of having other people's values instilled in them. If you can financially afford to stay at home, then please do so. The first five years of your childs' life are the most crucial. I wouldn't want someone else influencing my child. Perhaps you could stay at home for the first five years, then go with your own business. Of course, you could compromise and do your business part time. The choice is totally up to you. Please don't make your decision before you have your baby. Trust me, when you see that beautiful baby's face, you won't want to ever leave his/her side. Thank you, good luck and GOD bless.
2007-01-30 05:20:42 · answer #11 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋