how to accept and get over a situation?

Question

My baby daddy and I was together for 2 years. But he cheated on me while I was pregnant and got another girl pregnant. It's been 9 months since we've broken up. So how do I accept what he did and get over him? Cause he's trying to get back with me and wants to marry me.

Answer 1

Experience has taught me that in this situation a man such as the one you describe will not change. Think about this-he disrespected you when you were the most vulnerable. You gave life to is child and yet he is out there sewing his wild oats making more babies and then on top of that he has exposed you to life threatening diseases, namely aids. Honestly, I was in your shoes but I wasn't strong enough to walk away but I can pass the knowledge I've gained on to you that you so that you won't make the mistakes I did. Not only will you become frustrated with him but its a fact that you will no longer trust him because you will always wonder in the back of your mind when you can't get in touch with him or he didn't show up when he was supposed to- is he cheating on me ? who is he with?
Run...Run...Run.... Believe me there is someone out there that will accept you and your child and treat you like you deserve to be treated, don't settle for less than you deserve. If you get back with him it may go okay for a while but then he will just go back to his old self and cheat again. Allow him to be a father if that is what he desires to do-I would not take the child from him but as far as you are concerned.....he is your X for a reason and leave him right where he is......
Remember this, don't let anyone disrespect you and put you through a lot of stress....life is too short, let him go and live your life.
Move on

Answer 2

9 months isn't really enough time to completely change who you are, and the person he is the kind of guy who would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend. That is a character flaw that won't go away overnight. He could very well feel badly about it and regret it, and you can forgive him for what he did, but that doesn't mean that everything is all good after that. You can forgive, but you'll never forget. Just accept that you have to see this person for the baby's sake and move on and find someone better. Not only did that man ruin any chance of a family for his own child, but he lied and cheated on you in your most vulnerable time in your life, someone who truly loves you and cares about your well-being would never in a million years do that to you. Accept that you chose an a$$hole, and that next time you won't and get on with being the wonderful mom that hopefully are, b/c you have more important things to think about now. You get to be a mommy and all the love from your baby, he threw all that away for a piece of a$$, he deserves what he gets now! :-)

Answer 3

Men makes mistakes and so do women! It's very unfortunate that he would cheat on you. The best thing I could tell you is to follow your heart. First you need to ask yourself Will you be able to trust him? Is it worth your time to give him another chance? Are you able to accept this other child and deal with the mother if you decide to marry him? These are the questions you need to ask yourself before you make that decision. The only way to get over something like that is to take it day by day. It won't be easy but life goes on you have a child of your own to think about.

Answer 4

first, you have to ensure that he's not what you want. was it a bad fall out? why did he cheat on you? had you cheated on him in the past? blah blah blah ... it goes on and on girl. There are so many factors to consider, especially since there are now TWO children involved. It sounds like he's not what you want from your question. So you need to make that decision in your heart and soul. Take the time to mourn over your loss. It's kind of like a death in a sense. It's been 9 months now? I'd say give yourself a little more time to heal. Usually takes about a year before you can start realizing what YOU need to do for YOU. You got so used to being with somebody you forgot what it was like to be by yourself. Second, you need to tell him to beat it! He had you, played you out, and now you're gone. PERIOD. Hopefully this a lesson that he can learn from and pass on to his children that cheating is no good. You cant tolerate that type of behavior around your child. Just tell him how you're feeling, how you want it to be, how you want to divy up the time with the child as well as monetary compensation for being the full time parent, unless y'all can work something else out.

I've been here before honey. And it's no fun. It doesn't get any easier so I won't lie and tell you that it does. However, if you can make the choice to live for yourself and your child, you can weed out all the bad choices and negetivity that we so often surround ourselves with. If you see baby daddy trying to at least do right for his child, accept that and cherish it. If not, know that you can do this without him. Because you can:) Stay strong and smart! Good Luck with your situation. I hope it all works out for you:)

Answer 5

You have to consider a lot of things before you can make a decision. First of all, there is this other child from another woman, You will have to be able to accept this child, accept that he will have to provide child support, will have to at some extent still talk with this woman. Then there is the trust issue, you will have to accept the fact that the relationship will never be the same as it once was before he even cheated on you. With a lot of work from the both of you, you might be able to overcome this and deal with it. You have to ask yourself if you would ever be able to trust him. So base your decision on these options. My personal opinion, if a man found their wife cheating, most men would not forgive and prefer to move on.Why most woman forgive and go through the whole misery of being with a man they will find hard to trust is a wonder to me. If you decide to move on, make sure you know your legal rights as far as the child you and him have. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

"Once a Cheat, Always a Cheat."

I'm sure you heard this before. Are you sure you want to get with someone who's putting your life in jeopardy by cheating on you? He got another girl pregnant, namely the same time you conceived your child, and you're POSSIBLY entertaining the thought of getting back with him, and POSSIBLY marrying him? Can you forgive his actions? Maybe. Me personally, the only interaction he would have is through the child you had together. If you get back with him, you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life.

Quite frankly, you'll put not only yourself in the line of fire, but your child as well. That line of fire will get more than one person hurt.

Answer 7

NO!!!
don't get back with the guy- that is the worse thing you could do to yourself and your child. it is terribly hard to get over anyone if you loved them- even if they did cheat on you, but the best thing to do is move on. try finding support in friends and family that you KNOW will be there for you. it is an extremely sensitive situation and you will probably feel vulnerable to get back with him, but whatever you do, don't. try to keep strong and realize that all you need is to move on, no matter what you may feel now, give it a little more and you will see that you'll get over him completely in just a couple of weeks. find peace with friends and family, not him.

Answer 8

The best thing to do is let him be there for the child after all he is the father. But tell him that you don't want to get back with but you would love for him to be apart of the child's life and you guys can be friends. That is the best way to go about it. I come from divorced parents and it's really hard for a child to see his/her parents not getting along. I hope this helps take care and God Bless!

Answer 9

i don't know if you can ever really accept something like that. it's bad enough that he cheated while you were pregnant but then to get another women pregnant, that's tough. you need to decide if you really want to be with him, if not then move on...it's not easy but intime things will get better. try keeping busy focus on your child. if you plan on getting back together with this guy i would suggest some serious conseling before marrying him. g'luck

Answer 10

There are times when u need to compromise under certain situations and this is the same with you. LIsten to your heart and more over you need to think about your baby too and so think about it and try to find out why does he want to come back to you. Try to find out whether he is really do want to. Your baby needs a care of a Father and so you too need to think about it. If he really mean to come back to your life then forget the past and try to make a lovely future with him and your baby.